My oldest daughter's dad signed his rights over because he didn't want the responsibility of being a parent. My husband has adopted her and she has a good life and he is free of all parental obligations which is exactly what he wanted. When he still was her legal father he made no attempt to be a part of her life, yet now he does things to try to get attention or look like the victim and people fall for it- I know this shouldn't bother me like it does, but I just have to wonder why people sympathize with people like this and try to make my husband and I the villains because the "poor guy can't see his kid" ?? That's exactly what he wanted.
2006-07-18 07:32:12 · 5 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
my daughter has no idea who he is and has not seen him since she was a baby- he may regret doing it.. but he made the decision to do so after months of counseling. parenting is a full-time responsibility and there is no room in her life for a "hobby daddy"
2006-07-18 07:45:48 · update #1
I was in almost the same situation. I won custody of my oldest son in court. His biological mother didn't want anything to do with him. My wife and I offered for her to see him everyday. We told her that we would feed her 3 meals a day, pick her up and take her home whenever she liked. She wouldn't do it. Four years later the court terminated her parental rights and my wife adopted him. Almost immidiatly everyone wanted to see him. We felt that they didn't want to see him before so they should't now. THEY DIDN'T!!
I don't know exactly what causes this. In her case people felt sorry for her because, "we took her son." They would give her money, loan her cars, feed her ,etc.. I guess the biggest thing is someone is paying attention to them. Yes, she would try to make us out to be the villains.
All I can tell you is ignore him. Ignore what he says and does. It's the best way. He no longer has any right or reason to see your daughter.
In our case as it probably will be in your case, he'll loose interest after a while. Then you'll hear noting out of him. In the meantime, it can be tough, just hang in there it will get better.
I feel like in your case and my case both he and she got what they wanted. So they can get over it, live their lives and we will live ours.
I'm not sure that I helped you but, I hope so. These kind of people are just like that!
You have done the right thing don't let him or anyone else tell you differently.
Good Luck!!
2006-07-18 08:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
WOW, that has got to be a rough situation. How is your daughter handling this situation? Have you sat down with her and told her the total truth for the situation. He is wrong for what he is putting his biological child through just for his glory. If he signed his rights away, he has no say so what so ever. It was his decision and he made it. That is the price that he will have to pay for his mistakes. I applaud your husband for stepping in and taking on the role of being a father to your daughter not many men would have done that. So to the both of you keep your heads held high and God will surely see you through the tough times.
2006-07-18 14:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime he does things or says things to make you feel bad, remind him of the decision that HE made.
On the other hand, what if now that he's signed over his rights, he realizes that it was in fact a mistake and now he is regretful? How does your daughter feel? What does she want?
2006-07-18 14:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe people don't know he was a dead beat dad and gave up his parental rights. It really is no one else's business anyway.
Count your blessings that he signed away his parental rights. Your daughter sounds like she has a good home. You don't have to worry about custody battles or child support anymore. Cherish your daughter.
2006-07-18 14:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by mama_wizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sounds too simple, but you really just have to ignore it. Your friends and family know the truth. They know how he is, and they know that your daughter is better off without him in her life.
People who sympathize with your ex-husband are not listening to both sides of the story, and that is THEIR problem. Too many people do that - it's just human nature. And, bottom line, you need to learn to put that problem on them where it belongs.
If anyone comes up to you and questions it, I'm sure you've got lots of stories to tell them and lots of justification for the way things are. People who choose to talk behind your back are idiots and usually suffer for it.
2006-07-18 14:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋