We agree on the divorce but i am kinda feeling like a failure and since we have separated, i am trying to better myself by working out and stuff, but i am still lonely. Someone help me!!!!
2006-07-18 07:29:58 · 17 answers · asked by candi girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THUMBS UP!!!!!! I AM REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR LEAVING. GET THE DIVORCE. AND DON'T LOOK BACK. i been their. it's OK to feel like that it normal. just remember you are not a failure, you did the right thing. he wants you to feel like that. crying is good. talking about it is also good. you took the right step. it's also normal to feel lonely. but it gets better. each day gets easier. just don't have any contact with him. he might try and get you back. what ever you do don't. you are doing all the right things. PLEASE KEEP STRONG. just remember some women don't leave, they stay until its to late. you could also find some support group where you live. that also help. you said you are keeping busy that's good. KEEP STRONG I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU. just remember you did nothing wrong. keep telling your self that. you are a good person. and you love your self. you did the right thing.
2006-07-18 07:51:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not a failure. The marriage was a failure.. Lots of people feel sad when they end a marriage or a relationship because their hope to be and have a life partner dies. Not so. You were just made for that person or that person for you. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you well. You don't deserve to be abused. Nobody does. Give yourself some time to heal. Go out and make friends. Date around when you feel better and find yourself somebody decent. You are going to feel lonely initially but that is NO reason to go back to an abuser. You have to make friends. Did your abusive husband beat you down until you felt you were good for nothing? If he did, get yourself some counseling because he has sold you a lie. Abusers do that to keep you isolated. Get out and socialize. Your new friends will tell you who you really are.
2006-07-18 07:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't feel like a failure. You are NOT responsible for his abuse towards you. He made those decisions, you had nothing to do with it. Being lonely is a lot easier than being beat up, don't you think? Think of it that way when you get lonely. Your sad for the relationship turning out the way it did. But it happens all over the country. Be happy that you got away from him. Some women are not so lucky and end up dead at the hands of their husbands. Stay busy, make new friends and get involved in some volunteer work if you have time, helping others in the area of abuse. You will have a lot to offer them. Best of luck to you, your on the right road.......
2006-07-18 09:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation. My wife and I were married for 12yrs and she moved out 9 months ago. Sometime over the passed 4yrs she feel out of love with me. She became insulting, mean, and emotionally abusive. She started drinking, smoking and quit going to church. She started staying out late after work and chatting on the internet all night long. It was terrible.
When she moved out, I felt so relieved. All of the stress went away because she wasn't there putting me down anymore. But now she is dating someone else and in the passed 3 weeks, I have felt lonely, sad, scared, insecure, used, etc. I have called her 5 times this week asking her to come back home. I know I shouldn't and I remember how she made me feel but I remember the first 8yrs and how she made me feel like a King and loved me and all of the good memories.
It is very natural to have these feelings. It is also very hard to handle. I fight them everyday. All that I can say, is that you have to try and remember how it was in the end, more than the good times because the person coming back would be the person that left, not the one you married.
2006-07-18 07:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by scheib65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be a little sad about something like this. After all, you're a human being with a heart and he was a part of your life for what I'm assuming to be a reasonably long amount of time. I know it's hard, but you've got to believe in yourself enough to know that you don't need to be treated the way he treated you. I've chosen being alone over being with someone who didn't treat me right. Whenever I felt lonely at that time, I'd spend time with friends or take part in one of my hobbies. That helped me. Remember, you're not a failure...take what you learned from this relationship and it won't be a waste of time. Good luck!
2006-07-18 07:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserved the abuse. You are lonely because no one is there to slap you around! Joking of course. You just got out of a relationship! This is normal. A year from now you'll be pissed you didn't leave him sooner. Just meet some friends and have fun. DON'T get into another relationship anytime soon because you will pick another worthless guy. If you need some booty, make it a one night stand or buy some toys (or both). but for god's sake don't date anytime soon.
2006-07-18 07:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal the relationship is over it is sad however you are better off and in time you will be fine and will meet someone new, keep bettering yourself and get some new friends and keep yourself occupied! I am proud of you for leaving when he was abusing you so many woman don't, just think of what an inspiration you are to woman being abused reading this right now. Now they know it can be done you can leave it is ok.
2006-07-18 07:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad that you did being away and getting divorce, because he is abusive and you so lucky to be alive. Now you making sure you looking after yourself and making sure you do what you need to be doing. and Yes you feel lonely but who tell you not to date or see other man again???? make sure you know that person very well if you knew what kind he is like your husband then dump that person and move on... You have that feelings because you love eveyrthing about him but the abusive. You didn't fail this.... He fail you and he didn't protect you and show love and didn't change it he knew what was wrong but didn't change it.
2006-07-18 07:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel like a failure you did nothing wrong. You got out of that relationship which was the best thing you could do . Surround yourself with family and friends who love you and will help you get through this rough time.
2006-07-18 07:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is there to help you with? everything your going threw is normal, you opened your heart in a till death do us part relationship and cause he beat you, you separated. Of course tho he was a ***, you miss him...its called un conditional love, but you were smart. And your on the right track..just keep trying to improve yourself....you need to be happy and not feel empty when alone, feel like your ok with just you...then happiness will surround you, and if your looking for other guys...guys will be attracted to that
2006-07-18 07:36:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋