What one should do if her husband had an extra marital affair?

Answer 1

Dump him!

If they do it once they can do it again.

Revenge is a waste of your time, accepting his apologies is also a waste of time. Respect yourself, don't lower yourself to his level - find someone who'll treat you how you deserve to be treat.

Good luck.

Answer 2

That is a tough question to answer.

There are certain issues to think about, first of all, do you have kids together? if yes, how old? My Aunt once suspects my uncle have an affair, though it might be true, they are still together for the sake of the kids, however as an asian family, the thinking might be different.

Remember if you have kids, no matter how young they are, a divorce will make an impact to their later life in social, marriage view point etc.

If you both don't have kids, then do you think you can trust this guy again? Are you prepared to take the risk of trusting him and have him failed you again, shattering you into pieces. if you are not, then a divorce will be better, as a relationship without trust will never worked out, however too much trust can be bad, the key is to be able to gauge as not 2 human interaction will always be the same.

Good Luck and hope that will give you some thoughts to begin with.

Answer 3

Depends on what you believe and the circumstances of which it happened.

Christianity says "forgive him." Of course it's easier said than done. In the light that he is truly remorseful and you're confident he won't do it again, I say go for it. If this is not the case, and he is/was flagrant hurtful and disrespecful with it...then I'd lean more on "because if he's done it once, he will more than likely do it again" and use this as my opportunity to leave. It's hard to say however, because there are so many factors that could potentially hold you in this relationship. Are there children? That should never be a reason to stay, but it sure does create quite an anchor. But whatever the anchors, never stay in an abusive relationship.

I used to believe in the fairytale until I was burned myself. The harsh reality is, there is no "perfect one" out there. We're all human and subject to making mistakes of all sorts. In leaving, you may be jumping out of the pot and into the frying pan.

Love is unconditional, and we as a people should be better forgivers...not giving him an excuse or a porthole to do it again mind you, but to free yourself from the mental bondage that comes from not letting go. Of course there will be the lot that will abuse this act of kindness, but let them deal with the repercussions of intentionally hurting someone. I believe both in karma and God's wrath, it eventually comes back around. And often times when we least expect it.

It would do us all good to learn to extend the same grace we want to receive when we ourselves make mistakes.
How you choose to handle this, that will make or break you.... but in the end, only you can make this decision based on what you feel and what you know to be true.

Good Luck

Answer 4

What would HE do if you had an extra marital affair? My guess is that he would say 'good bye'....You could try talking about it...that would be my first suggestion. If he seems cooperative in the talking, then maybe you both have a chance at saving your marriage. If he doesn't want to talk about it or his behavior seems suspicious, then there is your answer. Just don't let him blame YOU for his affair...its not your fault.

Answer 5

I think it depends on the circumstances.

If my partner had a drunken one night stand I could probably forgive him.

If he came home and said that although they hadn't doneanything physical he was in love with someone else then that would end our relationship.

There are some real pigs out there (male and female) who would have an affiar if they got the chance no matter how great their home life was. But the vast majority of people only stray if something is missing at home in my opinion.

I would recommend a book called 'Relationship Rescue' - it helps couples work out what is happening in their relationship, helps each partner see what they are contributing and taking away from it. It saved my realtionship and I think it can help other's too!

Answer 6

Sorry, but I'm not very forgiving on this topic. My theory is once a cheat, always a cheat.

There are decisions people make in life. One of them is whether or not they have any personal integrity. Having an extra martial affair shows a considerable lack of personal integrity, male or female. I wouldn't want to be with someone who is that lacking.

Of course, I'm a bit of a hard*** about these things.

Answer 7

Depends if you still want him.
If yes then get some counselling and find out what the heck is going on with both of you individually and as a couple.
If no then get some good advise, and get laid. I know that sounds flippant and brutal but the rest is just window dressing and postponing the pain. invite it in and deal with it but do it once someone has given you a sexual reminder you are still desirable. It works.

Answer 8

Things to consider.

That is your choice. What can you live with? Can you live with it and go to counseling together? Has it happened before? Was it a 1 night stand or a long term emotional and sexual relationship? Can you trust him? Is it more than an affair? Is it sex addiction?

My soon to be ex husband cheated on me. I forgave him. We have a child. It happened again and then again. I can't live my life that way. Wondering...not trusting...worried about STD's. I am choosing divorce.

Answer 9

That depends. Was it the first time? Can you discuss things openly & honestly about how your marriage got to that point? Will you be able to truly forgive him, not forget about it, but forgive him & move forward concentrating on rebuilding your relationship? If this wasn't the first time...RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

Answer 10

Its up to you
It depends on what you want to do, if you do want to go down that road of lawyers & divoice courts (messy) but its up to you
If you do forgive him remember what you've got
A get Dik free card
I know you dont want to hear it but loads of ladies out there would love A Dik free card
Whatever your choice im sure it will work out for ya

Answer 11

You need to talk. Get into Marriage Counseling. Get into Independent counseling. Find out what went wrong. Find out where this relationship needs to go...