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Add a paragraph to the following story. Ten points to the paragraph I deem the best addition to the story. Make sure you what you write fits in with the person who answered before you or , if you can, edit it so it does.


The footsteps kept getting closer. Soon he would catch her.
She dug deep for one last burst of energy and pumped her legs with renewed strength. "God help me....."

2006-07-18 07:06:42 · 16 answers · asked by sp_isme 2 in Arts & Humanities Books & Authors

Most everyoneis doing a really great job so far. Thanks for playing.

2006-07-19 05:28:36 · update #1

16 answers

As she turned the corner she heard a loud snapping sound just before she stumbled and the ground came rushing towards her. As she pulled herself up from the ground, ignoring the pain, she threw her heels off and glanced to where the footsteps were coming from. There he was, even closer now. She could see the blood on his hands. "Why," she asked herself, "Oh why did I have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't want to see that. . . I have to get away!" She quickly stood and began running again.

2006-07-18 07:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Icy U 5 · 2 2

Not too bad, but I think you have the talent to make it better. The first two lines and one in the middle are not true sentences, but you could still use them like that if you wish. Here is that edit you asked for (with a handful more adjectives ;) ) to get you going: Imagination, creativity, and inspiration are three important characteristics that help me plan out an entire story, or scene in my mind. I feel as if I am living a quintessential reality through these vivid dreams. I can feel, taste, and touch every moment, as if I was actually there. It is like a movie role playing through my head. I write about it; giving every direct detail therein, such as the sound of the rain clapping against the dark pavement on a cool, spring morning and that splendid feeling a girl gets from her first kiss. The anxiety, the butterflies, and the fireworks all mix together and suddenly you feel as if you have been lifted off of your feet; that the world around you has stopped. Time itself has subsided, and there are only two people in the world... you and your first kiss. P.S. If you are writing a fiction story it is better to 'show' and not 'tell' the reader. You are doing this the right way for an intro, or an essay, however. Good luck!

2016-03-26 22:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Her own footsteps made a hollow beat-beat sound upon the rough cobbled street -- an echo to the urgent beat-beat her heart was making. She paused a moment to catch her breath. The small gun stashed beneath her waistband at the back of her jeans was chafing. She knew that soon she'd be exhausted, and pull out the gun, and confront whomever -- or whatever -- was chasing her.

2006-07-18 07:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

...Kick him. He moved away swiftly and cursed, stumbling backwards to avoid her leg. The knife flashed in his hand as he regained his balance, but it was too late- people were looking at them. She was shaking, her heart beating wildly in her chest, almost overcome with the feelings fear and a strange sort of triumph. Someone was approaching them, walking towards them briskly and calling out, "Ma'am- are you okay? Is there a problem?" The man with the knife was walking away by then, almost running, looking back with a grimace before he was back on the sidewalk.

She sat back down unsteadily in the chair and pushed back a lock of hair with shaky fingers. "I'm... fi-fine." She muttered, more herself than to the tall, dark man with the concerned expression. He was stooping beside her now, gathering the contents of her handbag which had tumbled out during her confrontation.

2006-07-18 09:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by kia78 3 · 0 0

He stopped and looked up at Jamie she caught his eye and recognised his questioning look. In his hand he held a small long object all shiney and glisteney in his hand. " gold is comanding quite a high price these days mam" he said " was that what that fellow was after"." Oh No" she said "at least I don`t think so, How could he have known I had it". KATHUDD!!!. Suddenly the tall dark stranger fell to the ground ........................

2006-07-18 13:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by Bren0 3 · 0 0

1

2017-02-27 20:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Burgess 3 · 0 0

Transfixed she stared at the knife in his hand. Was this it ? was this how it would end, a lonely frightening death before she had even really lived.
She felt powerless it was all over,she moved towards him in a robotic trance. However years of Kung Fu lessons had not been wasted as she glimpsed his scrawny groin her right knee gained a life of its own and rose to........

2006-07-18 08:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

"I knew that playing rapist and victim was a bad idea!" She continued to run, looking over her shoulder repeatedly, just keeping out of reach of her heroin-addict boyfriend. Suddenly, she stumbles, falls, crying out in anguish and pain. She looks up into the sky, begging the heavens for some reprieve, and there he is. Raggedly breathing, sweaty, and sensual. "Why do you have to take these games so seriously, babe?" he asks, holding the rubber dildo tightly in his fist.

2006-07-18 07:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Despite the terror of the moment, she couldn't help reflect that it had all started so innocently. Sipping tea in the cafe, gazing at the passersby, he had appeared at the table next to her. "What's your sign?", he had said, with an impish grin and an outstretched hand.

2006-07-18 07:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Heckel 3 · 0 0

Her heart beat so loudly it deafened the sounds of city around her, even the loud click-clack of her high heels as her aching feet raced across the busy streets of Chicago.
Her lungs commanded her to stop, but she continued to disregard any plea her body made. Only one thought was allowed in her head: "I've got to get back before he does. I've got to get back....for her sake."

2006-07-18 07:09:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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