He has gone back to her and come back to me 15 times. Does anyone think this will be the last time and that I will be free to live my life? I am not strong enough to close the door in his face as I have tried over and over again blocking his email and changing my cell phone number and hope that he is strong enough to leave me alone. I would love your opinions on this.
2006-07-18 06:03:20 · 18 answers · asked by Alida2u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Listen. It wont matter if you change your phone, block his emails, his IM's, or even move to a new address. You make yourself available to him. Build up your self esteem and self worth. You want to know how? Would you like a starting point? Think about how he treats you. Do you feel like you deserve to be treated like this? Having your life intruded on like that? Start building up that anger. This has nothing to do with you finding another man. It has nothing to do with men. It has to do with you creating boundaries with people. I would suggest looking into discussion groups with people with similar obstacles. Trust me. You are stronger than you think. Its just you have to believe it also. Good luck to you. Today and every day.
2006-07-18 06:41:29 · answer #1 · answered by Divine_Gesture 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the power to do anything your heart desires. You just have to WILL it. Meaning, when you say you want to and will get rid of him, you have to mean it! Do just that! You see, you wounded yourself for so long by letting him back into your life each and everytime he is ready to come back. All hes doing is playing with both you and his wife, and theres no telling who else. Never expect happiness messing with a married man because its not possible. You say you can't find the strength to get rid of him, but you will have to find it from somewhere because the more you hold on, the more hurt and pain you will gain from your situation. Just believe in yourself and know that you can be strong enough to do this. What do you have to lose? Yeah, it will hurt in the beginning, but it is better to hurt for a short period of time than to have to go through this recurring loop with him for any longer than it should have occured.
2006-07-18 14:12:16 · answer #2 · answered by sr04model 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I can relate to your situation. Although it has not been as long, there is a man that I am in love with and have been for the past couple of years. He keeps saying he is staying for this reason and that reason and I keep accepting those excuses. It has been a struggle to not allow him to continue to come back after he hasn't contacted me in months. You have to stay strong and believe that you deserve someone that is committed to you and only you. I know it is hard, but you are worth it and so am I. Be strong!!
2006-07-18 15:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new man..then it won't be as hard to tell him no.
Though you should have said no the second time..because IM pretty sure he didn't tell you the first time that he was married. Just find something that you love more than him..and use that...He is not worth the stress and tears..this guy sounds like a real jack ***.
2006-07-18 13:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by Bevin M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're on an emotional yo-yo and he's pulling the strings and driving you crazy in the process. You need to go out and date other men. Get involved and have fun. Those are the baby steps you need to take in order to break an obsession like this. You can do it. You NEED to do it. Don't let a crazy man like that do this to you any longer.
2006-07-18 13:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not leave his wife. He is having his pie and eating it to. You have to muster up the self-respect to drop him. Don't let him have control over you (he does if you are letting him pull this with you). Find some hobbies that take up your time. Just fill your life up WITHOUT him.
2006-07-18 13:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by nabo1981 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not being mean but, wow, are you really that naive?Honey, he IS having his cake and eating it too.As long as you let him do what he's doing he has absolutely nothing to lose.And if his wife is allowing it she is just as dumb.Maybe you and the wife ought to get together and find out what he's saying to both of you.There are good guys out there.I found one.
2006-07-18 14:14:02 · answer #7 · answered by Flaming40s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen to me...every time his wife would leave him, he would call me up and stupid me would go running back to him. I did it for 8 years and I knew it just wasn't worth it...she kept coming back and he kept taking her back (most times without telling me!). Not worth it...not worth it...you deserve BETTER!!! 15 times is too much hon...find someone that respects you!!
2006-07-18 14:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let him come back! Why would you want to be involved with a Married Man? If he cheats on his wife, he would cheat on you too. Just walk away..
Those That Cheat "With" You Will Cheat "On" You
2006-07-18 14:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by eyematch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he knows you wont leave him,and he knows his wife wont either. You needs to leave him. find yourself a good man. He is just having his women dosage of both of you. He feels as if he is "the man." I know cuz my uncle does this and we honestly dont like him doing it.
2006-07-18 13:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by mark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋