ok.i have two friends who right now are in a little dilema.I am kinda in the middle of it, but don't want to be.to make it easier i''l call them (A) & (B)
The thing is that we all grew up together, along with some other close friends.Well,(A) kinda developed a crush on one of of our close guy friends.I think because everyone has been telling her that they would make a cute couple.I'm guessing she really believes it now.So anyways,one night me and (B) went out with him and some other guys.We had a good time i guess, and we all had a few drinks.Few,as in 'the guy' and (B) ended up getting a little crazy(no sex).So when (B) decided to tell (A) about what happened,she didn't realize (A) would get mad.And now,they're bringing ME into this.
(A) said that it sucks because she has a "special" relationship with him(they flirt alot).And out of all ppl she didn't think any of us would hook up with him.
(B)said she wasn't all there.And she didn't know it would bug her.
What can i tell them?
2006-07-18 05:56:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
by the way.....those of you who are worried if i'm old enough to drink.......well.......YES i am!....i'm exactly 21.
besides......problems like these don't just happen to younger girls......they happen to girls period!
2006-07-18 06:22:38 · update #1
A has to be careful, because if she's interested in a guy who will "get crazy" w/ anyone, much less B, then he's probably not that great of a guy. and so what if he flirts w/ her, there's prob 10 other girls who think same thing!! he is not her property, at least not yet. however, all B can do is say she's sorry, she didn't realize how strongly A felt about the guy, and if she DID, she probably wouldn't have done that....what else can she do? she can't go back in time. this is one of those times that "test" friendships.... and if A can forgive B, that's great. if she can't, then the friendship just wasn't strong enough. =T.... most likely, however, since u guys are young, A will be pissed for awhile and B might get pissed cuz A is pissed, but eventually i'tll pass and there'll be more fun and new guys to hang out with!
2006-07-18 06:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like you're old enough to drink. But I'm going to igonore that and try to answer your question.
Get A and B together and tell them this in front of each other:
Say to B "am I correct that you didn't know that A had a crush on this guy and you wouldn't have gotten with him if you knew it?" or if she knew it say "is it true that you did not intend to hurt A by telling her that you had gotten together with (the guy) and you don't want it to ruin your friendship" ask her to apologise for huring A's feelings
Say to A "since B did not intend to hurt you, are you willing to lose her friendship and complicate all our friendships for some guy? can you forgive B?"
Tell both of them "I care about both of you and you need to work this out because (the guy) is not worth all of us being mad at each other. There was no malice intended and if it is meant to be, then A will end up with (the guy). If not there are other fish in the sea, but you can't replace the friendship we have"
Best wishes.
2006-07-18 13:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well (B) can't use drinking as an excuse to act they way she did, but she might not have fully been there to stop what she was doing. If (A) liked this guy and (B) knew that (A) liked him then (B) should apologize for getting with her friends crush because that wasn't cool. But also (A) should forgive her because they are not together, (B) didn't go out to delebritly get with him. Its not worth ruining a friendship over a guy. Me and my bff have been friends for 12 years since we were little girls and we let another person that talked crap about each of us to the other saying the other one said it, come between us and we didn't talk for almost a year. Now we're back as friends and going strong and we don't let anything come between us.
I hope this helps
2006-07-18 13:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great that B was able to tell A what happened.
A should really take a look at the guy and see if she wants to waste time on someone who would get crazy with someone else, especially one of her close friends.
They really need to look at their friendship and decide if it is more important to stay friends or to fight over some guy.
2006-07-18 13:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by ksgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well definitly B has commited a move that just wasnt cool to A and i agree, cuz any little tiny bit of common sence tells you that you shouldt even "hang out" too much with a guy ur other gf digs, its in what we call...girl code....then again, you have nothing to do with this, so announce to everyone you r steppin out of this problem and you appreciate it if nobody talks to you about that....and if B didnt know about A liking this guy, A deserves an apology, and then a slow, step by step explanation
good luck, hun ;)
ps. putting A in B's shoes and viceversa might help a bit more than they expect it
2006-07-18 13:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by mary B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are around way longer than any guy will be, what's more important a guy right now or a friendship forever?
2006-07-18 13:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by hateizmybestfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "guy" should definitely spill what happened that night. If he felt something for (B), then he isn't right for (A). It's all the guy's fault; question him first. Ask him who he likes then decide what to do.
2006-07-18 13:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by melomane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B said it all she didn't know it would hurt A and A should say how she feels before and not be lead on assumptions good luck
2006-07-18 13:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's so not worth it.
boys will come and go -
but your girlfriends will always be there.
tell them what a dog he's being at the moment.
he sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it , too.
don't let them be cake!
explain the situation to both of them (together) from at outsider's point of view.
2006-07-18 13:02:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋