my boyfriend and the father of my 3 kids and i fight ,,,A LOT. i love him to death and i cannot imagine my life with out him. When do you decide that it is enough and how on earth do you leave someone who you cant breathe without?
2006-07-18 05:45:54 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I WAS THE ONE who broke the trust not him. WE didnt get marride becase we were young when the first baby came. now it just kinda seems like we havent done it yet so what is the rush
2006-07-18 05:52:23 · update #1
Can human survive without heart beat?
Can relationship survive without trust?
Lastly.......Can u survive without him?
2006-07-18 05:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by PP 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
U will get ALOT of advice on this one:
But just let me say that NO ONE can make that decision for U. Everyone handles situations differently and what might be good for someone else may not be good for U.
U just have to trust Ur own judgement.
If I was gonna give U any advice it would be, try to find that thing that made U luv him in the beginning, is it still there??
Do U think it's healthy for Ur kids that U 2 fight ALL the time??
Maybe just maybe U R staying with him because its a habit, Uve done it for so long U just don't think U have the strength to move on. Look inside Urself...U just may find that U R a very strong person and NO ONE can be responsible for Ur happiness but U.
Good Luck......And rememeber Ur kids are looking to U to see what a healthy relationship is all about. They deserve better even if U dont think U do.
2006-07-18 05:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by HeartsOnFire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What holds the relationship together when the trust is gone.. nothing.
you can't do it without trust - you will be constantly wondering about the littlest things.
you need to start over. This is possible with the same person that you are currently with. You both need to go to see a counselor, its easier than you think believe me I ve done it. you fight a lot, so I imagine that it gets kinda bad and your anger wins out and things are said that keep the fight going, this is not good for you your bfri or the kids, growing up in a war zone at home sucks.. don't let it go on. if you are unable to do the counseling thing go get a book on anger management make him read it get one for him and one for you make a pact to make it work for the kids sake for your families sake see what happens... who knows maybe it will work - I read a book called Honor your anger I forget the author, its a great book even if you don't have issues try a read of it see if it helps.. I wish you the best
oh and if you decided that you have had enough of him sorry for the lengthy answer,
2006-07-18 05:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you have 3 kids. That is how the relationship hold up. I do have misunderstanding with my wife. Whenever one get real mad, the other will just walk away.
When you have thunder and lighting at the same time, the storm will be very forceful. At no point carry on a topic when ones volcano start to throw out smoke/ash. Just walk away or better still keep quite and don't answer anything.
I feel it will be hard for the 3 kids seeing both grown up adults shouting or fighting. Both of you should try and sit down to talk when the kids are asleep. TALK not other than that.
When one become angry, nothing goes into their ear or brain. So why waste your energy shouting or screaming at a zombie
2006-07-18 05:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by davidtay25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe counseling will help. I know it sounds bad, but if things are bad where there is too much fighting, especially around children, but you know in your heart that he is the love of your life, I think that going to counseling is your best bet. You need to find out where the fighting is stemming from, try to find some common ground and compromise on situations with each other, and counseling is really great for that.
If it's really past the point of being saved, then you need to figure out your next step. Separation may suffice; it's not you DEFINITELY leaving him, but a step that way, just to see if that might make him and you realize that maybe you are better off without each other, or realize that you are going to try harder, and work together to stay together.
Good luck.
2006-07-18 05:50:11 · answer #5 · answered by plcarnrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh tough one...okay if you fight about the same crap...I would be like ya know this is stupid and it needs to stop b/c all we're doing is hurting ourselves. You both need to learn to get past it. My bf and I sometimes fight a lot but we both realize that its stupid and just either laugh about it or just move past it. What you can do is try to find some humor in and it laugh, that'll ease the tension between you two. If you're fighting a lot then I wouldn't leave him b/c that'll make things worse for you, him, and the kids. Try and stick it out and if it does get unbearable try marriage counseling and then if its still not enough then I'd leave him. Good Luck!
2006-07-18 05:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by dancer1883 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. except we only have one kid and we also fight ALL the time. But I don't trust him for other reasons besides the fighting, which is the only thing you said. You can not have a good relationship if there is not trust. In my, case he lye's all the time so i cant trust him; and I know he will never stop lying. But in your case I think counseling would help. Maybe!
2006-07-18 05:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by biscuit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting is usually about something deeper. If you fight about the toilet seat, I'm sorry but there is something horrible there that needs to be uncovered. But if you fight about the big things like kids, money, etc then you should reevaluate your situation in the relationship. You may love him with your heart, but does he love you? Has he considered marriage? I don't have all the answers but sometimes if you can't breath on your own, find someone or something thing to do the breathing for you.
2006-07-18 05:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by nate_ramos_33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can breathe without him. You have 3 kids, but the relationship is on shaky ground and the trust is gone. You can try counseling/therapy to try and save the relationship and restore the trust. Or, call it quits. Just make sure you both take care of those children.
2006-07-18 05:49:46 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you can breathe WITH him.
Nothing is holding your relationship together. In fact, sorry to say, your relationship is ****. It's time for you to start imagining your life without him. Even if you ended up staying with him, that should give you some perspective. You should be valued and respected. If that is not there, then you can do just fine without him.
2006-07-18 05:49:48 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a whole lot, Love but sometimes it's not enough. If you can't imagine life without him then go to counciling try to fix it, stop fighting and discuss it. If both of you want it then it should be enough right there
2006-07-18 05:50:20 · answer #11 · answered by boredgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋