My husband has broken my heart a lot, how do you know when enough is enough?

Question

I love him, but he insults me, he always says he is going to change....

Answer 1

by asking this question, you know it's enough. He's not worthy of you, remember there are other fish in the sea and time really does heal all wounds even though it doesn't seem that way. Find someone who respects you and treats you right, he's out there, start looking.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry he has hurt you so much. It looks like its time for you to start setting limits. You may not be able to change him. Ignore him, and see if he stops-he might just be trying to get a rise out of you. Sounds like he might have some issues with hurt denial somwhere in his past. U can just accept the fact that he'll never truly grow up, its just the way he is. Make a list of all the things you love to do. Every time he hurts you-go do one of these things. keep a journal maybe where he won't come a cross it. men can be so insensitive. Maybe you can take a vacay from him-go to moms, a friends house-sometimes you gotta leave a little while to make them realize they don't know what they have until it's gone. Keep reminding him what hurts when he does it or says it-it doesn't have to be a yelling match-just a calm verbal or written reminder-he might get it..........someday
oh yea, you can always pray-god can be a great comfort-and you might receive some answers or conclusions on what to do or how to handle the situation.

Answer 3

I had a boyfriend that hurt me a lot... not physically or mentally, but emotionally. We were together for three years. When I would point out the things that he did that hurt me, he would improve for a time, but it wouldn't last long.

Finally, I'd had enough and broke it off for good. Shortly after that he realized that I wasn't going back to him. That time it was his heart that was broken. I never got back together with him, but if I had he probably would have changed because he wouldn't want to lose me again.

Sometimes the threat of leaving works, sometimes actually leaving works. I don't put much faith in counseling as my father's second marriage still failed after it. The best thing to do though, is to separate and see where it goes from there. If nothing improves, then perhaps it's time to move on.

Answer 4

You must know enough is enough since you're posting this here to a bunch of strangers. You don't have to put up with being treated poorly. Insults are a form of verbal abuse and can be just as harmful as physical abuse. He says he's going to change each time but never does. Each time it's the same, so change your reaction...LEAVE. It's the only thing you haven't tried and you deserve to be happy with someone who won't seek out to repeatedly hurt you. Good luck.

Answer 5

Ask him if he wants a wife and home or not. Tell him if he doesn't stop with the insults he's going to have to find a new home. Stop it before it gets any more out of hand. You shouldn't have to live this way. Remind him of his wedding vows. I don't know if you said "honor," but I bet there was an equivalent in there.

Answer 6

Unless he is willing to get help with his communication and power issues, then you should not stay with him. He will only progressively get worse. You are in an abusive relationship. There is no really acceptable reason to stay unless there is DEFINITE proof of willingness to change (actions must show this, not words).

Get out now before it escalates to the point of being a prisoner.

I am dating a woman who was married to an abusive man (she lost 14 years of her life because of false hope). When she decided to leave him for me, he became violent and hit her, chased her with his truck, threatened my life, and finally decided to commit suicide. More damage is done the longer the relationship continues. He needs help, but you can't be the one to do this. He has to want it!!!

You must weigh your safety and happiness against your willingness to be helpful. Do you do everything for him? What does he do in return? If the answers are yes and nothing RUN!!!

Answer 7

Okay he's your husband and he insults you...ask him how he can be your husband and love you but insult you. That doesn't make any sense. If it gets too much I would get out or try marriage counseling...

Answer 8

Don't u want better than that?!
U need 2 get out of this relationship, & fast, b4 it gets worse.
U need 2 find that special guy who u love, who loves u back, & who is respectful & kind 2 u.
Good Luck & have a Great Day! :-)

Answer 9

you love being insulted?
you love having your heart broken?
WHAT EVER!!!
i'd hate to live in your world, honey.
if it's not enough , yet , when will it be?

Answer 10

You just do, only you can answer that. You staying around and putting up with that is only sending the message to him that it is ok to treat you that way. I hope there aren't children involved, if there is his behavior to you is going to negatively affect them as well.