Men Please Help!!! Sex Drive issues?

Question

My husband is 35years old and when we got together/married sex was great but now that we have settled in the sex seems to be disapearing. Is it normal to have a loss of sex drive at this age or is this a problem with us? Men please tell me what I can do to help either way!

Answer 1

I'm 36 and am fine. Maybe you just need to spice things up! Create a coupon book! For example: This coupon is good for one back massage, coupon good for 1 night in for hot bubble baths together, coupon good for one candle lit dinner, coupon good for date night (aka NO KIDS) , coupon good for pleasure of choice, etc... I thought the idea seemed lame but tried it and it really intensified the relationship!

Answer 2

Yes it is fairly normal for sex drive to decline after a while. Part of the excitement of sex is the novelty of doing it with someone new. This inevitably fades after a while and if you're not careful everything beomes a bit routine... same time, same place, same position(s) etc etc. This becomes even more difficult if you also have young children (your romp on the kitchen table is now a no-no in case the kids come in for a snack, etc etc)

The trick is to bring the excitement and novelty back.

Get baby sitters in for the night and book into a hotel
You could even do it secretly and then leave him a note telling him where to meet you... he may take a while to catch on but soon every time he comes home from work he'll be wondering whether there's a note waiting for him that night...

If he's got any imagination at all then soon you might be getting little notes yourself... or he might try some other little game.

Make an effort in your appearance... sexy undies, hair... you know what turns him on... what catches his eye on some other passing female... well there's nothing to stop you doing the same.

It's all about bringing the novelty back... and as long as you both consent and it doesn't harm anyone else then it really doesn't matter how you do that. Talk to him about his fantasies and tell him about yours... if you make one of his come true then he might just do the same for you!

Answer 3

Hi,

I am a 63 year old male but I remember my 30 to 40 year range well. Men that age always want sex.

Have you gained weight or do not take care of yourself as you used to? It is silly but men like it when women look good for us when we come home after a day at work.

Sometimes men want sex in different ways than the standard missionary way. Maybe you need to excite him more with other types of sex.

The things I mentioned above really have nothing to do with it.
Men that age always want sex.

There is one thing of course that comes to mind, is he cheating?

Another thing, he could have a physical problem and can't get it up or it hurts and he is not telling you.

Another thing that most people don't think about, he could be into pornography and masturbating. Alot of times masturbating is a lot quicker and easier than sex with you. It is very easy to get hooked on it. I think this is the reason in many cases.
I am not sure how you can handle that problem.(no pun intended)lol. It is a very strong urge in most men.

Good luck,

Bob

Answer 4

Sounds like you two may just be having a lull in your sex life. Mix things up a little. First of all, oral sex is the best way to kick-start a man's sex drive, if you feel comfortable with this. Maybe surprise him with it when he's not expecting.

Maybe also try some things you haven't done before. It takes work to make a sex life last and last. What about sexy lingerie? Ask him to go out and pick out some lingerie for you. It's fun to look for lingerie while imagining your wife wearing it (it's kind of foreplay).

Maybe try some sex toys. Go with him to a sex store and buy some items together (vibrators, oils, etc.). It's fun and is also a kind of foreplay for men.

Good luck and have fun.

Answer 5

I encourage you to investigate all the non-sex issues that may improve your relationship. As you figure out all of those issues, here are 2 suggestions to consider on the physical communication front.

Suggestion 1: Consider alternating days. Suggest trying for one week to alternate who leads or defines that day's physical interaction: timing, frequency, activity etc.

This will likely do some good and pleasantly surprising things:

- Both people feel like they are getting more of what they want on their days.

- Both people get a "day off" where they don't have to decide what to do.

- Everyday doesn't feel like a compromise, meeting "halfway" but never really getting what either wants.

- Both people are allowed to communicate, taking turns listening and expressing. They know they can both speak and be heard, and that enboldens both men and women.

- You discover your partner is happier because they get what they want and they get to take charge a fair amount of the time. And you might be surprised that their libido increases as a result of them having a fair amount of control over the level & direction of things. With clear license & encouragement to be expressive, their enjoyment of the physical activity may increase.

Suggestion 2: Take massage courses to incorporate a variety of therapeutic massages into your physical interaction. This will be more pleasing in more than purely sexual ways, adding more incentive to spend intimate time together physically. Good luck

Answer 6

Hello 4x4, I was 35 when I met my future wife and now after 11 years of marriage we are going longer and more often then ever before! No it's not normal to lose your sex drive at 35. Before you offer to go to counseling (which he probably wouldn't want to do) you can try this - invite him out to a romantic dinner. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you and once there, keep the converstaion sexy and positive. Talk about the great sex you two had when you first met. Talk about sexual fantasises, his and yours! Driving home, kiss him and touch him at every stop sign and stop light. Once home, you can slowly undress him and have him lay on your bed. Now he can watch you slowly undress then lay next to him and start doing some of those things you talked about at dinner!
Good luck

Answer 7

"why is it significant for some to sell the concept there are actually not variations"... sturdy question that pertains to various subjects at right here. interior the infinite quest to instruct exactness or superiority with the aid of one gender or the different, emphasizing inherent distinction seems to be verboten. Hormones play a key place in organic and organic variations interior the sexes and it could look logical in evolutionary words that adult men, well-known, could have bigger intercourse drives than women human beings, well-known. All we could desire to do is comprehend that we are animals and if we seem to different animals, we see the right comparable phenomenon. men can mate and reproduce many cases in one day; women human beings can reproduce as quickly as a month. it could make no experience for women human beings to have bigger intercourse drives than adult men whilst intercourse is, physiologically speaking, for reproductive purposes. That it is likewise gratifying is secondary to this organic and organic crucial.

Answer 8

I think it's the habitual routine we fall into. Do you, the woman, watch "Lil House on the Prairie" for the 5th rerun? I do blame television. Don't be watching it when he comes home.

Talk more.

And, it's a chore sometimes, but when the girls get close on 51 (wink, wink) they view this as an issue of self-beauty, so we gotta try harder.

But most of all, you gotta see if you still have each other as best friends.

Cut the friggin' TV off.

Answer 9

well is it him or you thats sex drive is dissapearing? iv heard alot about how women think they are telling the guy they are in the mood but really the guy doesnt understand it...maybe you need to take a lil charge and see if you taking over and getting wild puts the spark back in his pants. If you dont want to do that...TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT! whats with all these relationships and the women dont talk about what they want or need....why not talk to him? when you get older things happen..like stress from work...kids? .....bills? when you have stress like that, the guys member doesnt feel like going up....and the girls libido goes out the door.

Answer 10

It's not an age thing. I like sex just as much now as I ever did - and I am 45. Perhaps you just need a little spark.

Fulfill a fantasy.

Answer 11

I am 35, but I am single. I have the same problem though. I have no interest. I think part of the problem is that the sex is "more accessible" therefore, it sometimes is taken for granted.