Do you agree? Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach.?

Question

I think we are going down different paths here. I mean can you as a parent (I have twin 9 year olds, boy&girl) say one thing and do another, and not have your children pick up on it, and say "but you do it." Parenting is not easy, and it is hard to be consistent, but children are more perceptive than we often give them credit for.

Answer 1

Oh to be the perfect parent. What a concept and it would be almost impossible to accomplish. Parents are human after all.
But you are correct. The little ones pick up on everything we do or say, they are very very aware even when we think they don't notice. They do!.
You try to practice what you tell them. If this is a practice you do not usually adhere to, then practice it in your privacy away from the children.
Sometimes, you simply tell them "mommy and daddy are doing things differently than what we are telling you. This is for your safety. Once you grow up you are free to decide what you wish to do"
Of course always at a level they could understand.
But the key here is consistency. You might be able to get away with the odd contradiction but it should not become a practice.

Answer 2

I agree with you. Children are perfect little mirrors of ourselves. All our insecurities and faults are highly visible in them. You, as a teacher, must know what the parents of the children you teach are like, just by the way they behave in class.
Whether we want to believe it or not, we aren't always the best models for our children. They know when we are being phony. I remember a teacher asking my son what he wished I didn't do. His answer was that he wished I didn't yell so much. I really was embarassed when confronted with this revelation. But, I sought help and learned to control that in my life. Sometimes we don't realize when we are being inconsistent and it takes a child to help us see that. In a way, they become our teachers, too.

Answer 3

I agree with this. I have two boys, 28 months old and 12 months old, respectively, and our 28 month old is a wild child. It infuriates me he hits his younger brother (temper tantrum) and my husband swats him on his diapered butt and says, "You DON'T HIT!" It doesn't upset me that he spanks him (he never hits hard...just hard enough to make a point), but it does upset me that he hits him then tells him not to hit. How do you explain this to a two year old?? I've tried and tried to explain to my husband why his reasoning is wrong, but he can't see my point.

As the children get older, I still think you should practice what you preach. I grew up with my mom telling me how cigarette smoke kills, is dirty, makes people sick...then she proceeds to light up another one. Do I smoke now? Yes, I do. I'm not blaming this completely on my mom, but if I'd been raised in a house of non-smokers, where the dangers of cigarettes were preached, I'd probably be a non-smoker today.

That old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do." is old and for the birds. Double standards...

Answer 4

That's why my husband and I don't drink, and we try not even to cuss. Three boys in the house. They will get bad influences everywhere else in the world- we cannot shelter them- but we can be good examples and show them how we want them to live. I can't figure out how someone can even do something they don't want their kids to do, and say, but don't you do it. I would feel like a big hypocrite, and kids aren't stupid- they will know that what you give most of your attention to is what you value most. Actions speak louder than words. If you value your kids most, you live to be a good example for them, not to satisfy your own indulgences.

Answer 5

I don't agree with that at all. Parents were children once and made mistakes. They are teaching their kids different in hopes that their children don't make the same mistakes.

You must be a teenager.

Answer 6

I dont agree with that..
For example who taught you how to walk..
who tought you how to talk..
who taught you what the color red was?
did they teach you this from preaching..