My boyfriend wont let me back into his heart, i have tried telling him i love him and god knows i have shown him how much i care. I did push him away when i was having problems with my 13yr old son and ex partner, but this was only due to the fact that i was trying to protect him. I never showed any anger to him and i didnt totally stop showing my love. We still made love and my emotions were on full view then. He has trouble showing me how he feels, he is very cold and distant when we are together. He works away during the week and we only have weekends to spend time together. The problem is while he is away he thinks alot and convinces himself that he no longer loves me, then he comes back at the wkend and tries to end our relationship but cant totally go thro with it and ends but crying. He is constantly hurting me by giving me the answer of I DONT KNOW when i ask if he loves me or even wants this relationship. What should i do? and please dont say walk away cos i love him
2006-07-18 04:19:46 · 7 answers · asked by birminghambelleuk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Im even more confused now lol If this helps any of you. My bf is going to councilling to try and help sort whats going on in his head. He keeps saying he is angry, confused and just totally messed up by all that has happened with my son treating him bad and also my ex causing problems. My son at present is also going to councilling for anger management. I seem to be the only person who keeps trying to help everyone, but no one seems to want to help me.
2006-07-18 05:34:44 · update #1
By saying that we can't tell you to walk away, you have removed the correct answer. You may not want to face it, but you need a break to break this cycle.
Maybe you just need some time apart to learn to appreciate each other again. Tell him not to come back until he can tell you how he feels. Give him some time to miss you. It may work and it may not, but you have to change what you are doing because it isn't working.
2006-07-18 04:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems all one sided. You try please everyone and hes away 5/7 days working. He doesn't always see what goes on at home-- does he not know how lucky he is? He's had too much time to think thats all. But he shouldn't be coming back messing with your feelings- blowing hot and cold.
You have a right to his feelings too-- gos knows you have given him enough. Make it clear that you will not sit there wondering what he will say next-- give him a choice- and a clear one. He either gets on with things and shows u the love and respect u so deserve or he can shut the door on the way out.
He's taking the pee and he needs to know where the line is. If he crosses it he knows where the door is. Maybe he's waiting for you to tell him its all over he feels insecure because your ex is still in the picture regarding your son
He needs to be up front about how he feels about you-- if he cant be up front just let him go he's obviously confused.
2006-07-18 12:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey been there done that, had ex, and daughter and new boyfriend, the thing is they dont mix, it can be stressful, and make u want to push them away. i did it, i pushed my new bloke so far away that he threatened to leave me, but i then realised that i shouldn't be doin it, i talked to him more about the ex and the situation, it turns out that the new bloke couldn't understand the ex and the way i was, (all for my daughter and keeping the peace)... things plodded along,
u shouldn;t have to ask whether he loves u, he should tell u, talk to him, open up to him, and get ur son to do the same, there would be more respect in the whole family if this was the case.
but whatever u do, don't beat urself up about it, it really isn't worth the stress, sometimes u gotta look out for urself, cos one day u'll be on ur own because u made the wrong choices!
good luck
2006-07-25 19:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the best answer you'll ever get on here.
When a guy says "I don't know" when you love him, he means NO!
This is how it works:
He leaves you for a while. In that time he builds the strength to break up with you. Then he comes back and tells you he wants to end things, but you beg and plead. Since he's not strong enough, he gives in, and you win.
You think by him changing his mind means he loves you. No, it doesn't. It means he's weak and lacks the necessary courage to end things for good.
Make no mistake, his heart is gone...even if he is still with you. In spirit, he has left. It is only a matter of time before he leaves you for good. No amount of praying or begging will change his mind.
Stop trying to get him to change his mind. You're just prolonging the agony.
You're in denial, so you probably will will not admit this advice is true. Deep down - you know it's dead on. Stop hanging on to a man who doesn't want to be with you.
2006-07-18 11:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not so sure if you should just leave him. Sometimes (and i dont like to admit it) when ive argued/fallen out with past bf's Ive said I dont know if I love them etc - just to cause some kind of pain like they caused me. It sounds silly but maybe thats what this guy is doing - trying to hurt her. Or maybe he genuinely doesnt want to confront his feelings cos he is afraid of her letting him down again! whatever happens good luck
x
2006-07-18 12:24:11 · answer #5 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay don't walk away run as fast and as far as you can.
2006-07-18 11:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by longroad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a new one.
2006-07-18 11:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by nolyad69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋