Ok this is my little brother and ever since i could remember he has never helped out with chores around the house. Until my mom passed away in 2001 when he was like 11 years old. But since my mom died he stopped doing stuff around the house. Then when it came time for me to move out of the house he started getting voilent choking me and threatening to kill me and just being very rude to my dad and all my dad did was threaten to beat his butt even though he never did spank him. But now that he is 16 he is calling me up and asking me to come back home to do his chores. So the question is. How do you get a 16 year old up to do chores if he stopped doing them when his mom died back in 2001 and the year is now 2006 and when he threatens you because he doesnt want to do them? So if somebody is out there can you please HELP me out? Thanks So much to those who do help me out?
2006-07-18 03:50:48 · 17 answers · asked by ? 1 in Home & Garden ➔ Cleaning & Laundry
Well first, you should take him to a Psychiatrist. He's not right in the head, his mother's death probably caused some mental trauma. He needs help. If he gets better well then hooray. If not, just leave him be he's his dad's responsibility not yours. Go live your life.
2006-07-18 03:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by General X 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you doing what he's asking you? Are you going to the house and doing his chores?
If you are, then you are the problem.
If not, then I suspect someone has been ALLOWING him to get away with it....
As long as someone in the family is allowing this to continue, it will continue.
Quit feeling sorry for him losing his mom at a young age.
He'll be using that as an excuse. Send him to therapy if he's still messed up over his mom.
I lost my mom at a young age, too, and by the time I hit 16 I was in your brothers shoes.....didn't want to do anything around the house because I felt sorry for myself. After a year of grief therapy I was a different person.
2006-07-18 04:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not live in your fathers' home anymore ( Congrats on getting OUT ! )
YOU are NOT responsible for keeping that house clean.
1. Talk to your father ASAP.
2. File a restraining order against the brother, and KEEP IT ! Brother needs to learn there are consequences for his actions.
3. STAY AWAY from that house until this is resolved PERMANANTLY. Even if it's a few years.
I would tell your father that if he ( Dad ) wants to see YOU, he must come to YOUR house until the brother moves away, in a few years. That you are NOT going to be abused anymore. Invite your dad ( dad ONLY ) over for dinner and just talk to him. Be FIRM but definite. And then follow thru with the restraining order.
2006-07-18 18:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by madamspinner2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 16 year-old punk is to do what he is told while under his father's roof. Period. If that ain't good enough for him, then get the flunk out!
It sounds to me like you are his older sister if he is able to choke you. You do not have to come over to your old house and do his chores. Just don't go there, especially if he gets violent. Let him live in filth until your dad lays down the law. Things will change then. If they don't, then there are much bigger problems afoot.
2006-07-18 03:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by christopher s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother may need professional counseling. But on the home front, tell him you've set new ground rules. Cite the bible. It says, those who don't work, don't eat. Don't cook for him or give him any money to go out to eat if he doesn't do his chores. The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. He will suddenly have a change of heart when his stomach's empty.
2006-07-18 03:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by clvcpoet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take away priveleges, then if that doesn't work, tell him to get a job and kick him out! You cannot reason with a 16 year old boy. He won't ever do what you tell him. I think he probably neds some anger management counseling. My brother was like that after my parents got divorced and the counselling helped.
2006-07-18 03:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by Aaronkun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you aren't there then there isn't any reason for you to worry about it... but you can tell your dad to tell him he lost $200 and that if he cleans up and finds it he can keep it. My aunt did that to me once, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom. She ended up giving me $20 and then told me years later it was just a ploy to get me to do some of the chores. Best wishes
2006-07-18 03:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,I think that losing your mother has effected him alot more then any are realizing,he needs to see someone very bad,and as for choking you,he has control over that,but someone dying on him that he had no control on ,,well that speaks for it self,,you all may go together,to some one that can get him to talk from the heart!!!!with you and your father there,to speak your inner feelings with him!!!!wish you all so much luck!!!
2006-07-18 04:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by dork 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt do chores because it reminds him of your mom. since hes calling u to do chores y not take the offer? i think that he wants to do chores now to better remember what your mom had to do.
2006-07-18 03:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by dvt93 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could really miss your mom and don't want you to know it
example:
my real grandma Sandy died when my uncle Bo was 5 years old
and my step grandma died when he was 21 and now he hates his life and says the only one that loves him is me his nice Courtney i never met my real grandma because my mom was 8 when she died so i never got to meet her but my uncle Bo doesn't remember her so every mothers day he gets drunk and sometime gets in a car crash he even had to go to the hospital when my step gradma dide he got worse now he takes drugs the bad ones
and he dats the stupidist grils in this town they lol at every thing you say
2006-07-18 04:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by blaaaaah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋