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I have this friend and she is engaged and love her fiance alot but she still taks to her ex and he is married and they made a promise that if anything ever happen to their spouses or if their spouses divorce them that the will be together, what do you think?

2006-07-18 03:38:27 · 24 answers · asked by lotsoflove_32 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

yes they both still have some feelings for each other but they have more feelings for their own spouses and they get along great she had broken up with him because of a stupid state she was in

2006-07-18 05:15:42 · update #1

24 answers

Sounds like they still communicate based on a comfort level (and they obviously still love each other to a certain degree). But what is your real question? What could you say to her? Nothing, it isn't your problem unless her ex is your current husband.

2006-07-18 03:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think that she is still in love with her ex.Being an ex depending how long the persons have been together after either a few months or by following your heart there will always be feelings for the ex .What they need to do is give each other an altimatium because her ex is married now so she needs to move on and try and stop communicating with the ex unless they have children together ,but I believe from what you are saying is that they want to ruin there relationship with the other person that they are with and try and get back with each other, that there is not good ,but love is a powerful thing and having feelings and love for one another can do hurtful things sometimes to the other person when the time isnt right for them.

2006-07-18 10:45:39 · answer #2 · answered by leannie3176 2 · 0 0

I think what they said sounds immature and ridiculous. If they have that much love and want to be with each other they don't have to wait for something to happen to their spouses they can get together now.

Now you mention they are exes so what was the reason they didn't stay together in the first place instead of moving on to other people.

What I think?- I think neither should get or be married until they grow up and mature because their marriages are on the road to trouble if exes are having such conversations which are totally
disrespectful to their mates.
How old are these people, they don't sound very mature to me.

2006-07-18 10:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0 0

oh jesus... This is BAD! Ok, they are keeping eachother as a backup plan for their spouses... Yeah that isn't good, because if there is a readily accessable backup plan then they aren't going to put as much effort into being with their spouses as they should.

I am all for people being able to be friends with an ex if it is possible. However, 9 times out of 10 it isn't, so it is usually best to simply cut the cord and move on.

Your friend needs to be real, and WAKE UP! This isn't fair to her fiancee or to herself. She is going to end up cheating herself out of a potentially great marriage. Now it may or may not be great with her fiancee but unless she cuts the cord with her ex and gives it 110% of her effort she will never know.

Good luck, and I hope this helps.

2006-07-18 10:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0 0

I think it's OK as long as they aren't acting on their feelings now since he's married and she's engaged. I know plenty of people who have made pacts like that and I think it's good that they wouldn't risk their current relationships to try to rekindle their old flame. They should wait if they both suddenly become single and if it doesn't happen than it wasn't meant to be.

2006-07-19 10:23:14 · answer #5 · answered by elr212006 3 · 0 0

Thats a bit bold to have such a back up plan but it is another way to wish each other well and if there able they will be there for one another if it should fail...I am trying to look at the postiive of this because there isn't any mention to break anyone up intentionally.

2006-07-18 10:43:10 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0 0

That's not unusual but it's also not right! If she is willing to be with her ex in case her husband leaves...before she is even married to the guy, then she shouldn't marry him. She still wants her ex..it's obvious. But since he has moved on and got married, she wants to do the same...but that's sooo not gona make things any better!

2006-07-18 10:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by Susan 2 · 0 0

She's playing a game, where she will be the losser. Shes afraid of being alone and is not in love with her fiancee or she wont be disloyal to him. A relationship based on dishonesty would never be happy. Theres the saying, "you reap what you sow".. . tell your friend to beware of Karma. . . In living a double life. . . she might lost both. . .her ex, her fiancee. . .and much more. .her peace of mind .

2006-07-18 10:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by mich 2 · 0 0

she's really fooling herself and she leaving in lust with this ex why didn't they marry and are waiting to marry after being caught by each others spouse. he will fulfill that promise or whatever

2006-07-18 10:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by Prisca 3 · 0 0

I think its not right ,.. seems like they are not trust worthy... their current relationships are not very strong... i feel its not fair to the spouse and the fiancee...

but well.. whatever you say or do.. people just do what they want to do...

2006-07-18 10:41:23 · answer #10 · answered by ??!?? 2 · 0 0

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