"Nice guys always finish last."
2006-07-18 02:42:49 · 23 answers · asked by alchemist0750 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Nice Guys Finish Last
How many times have you heard the phrase "nice guys finish last" ? You probably can't even count how many times you've heard some frustrated guy say this. You might even say this yourself quite frequently. So, what is it about "Nice Guys" that cause their hearts to get stomped on by women and people in general? I'm going to help explain this as clearly as possible.
First, it is NOT the fact that a guy is "nice" that makes him unattractive to women. Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong !
No more Mr. Nice Guy
The first and most crucial mistake a guy can make is to lie to himself about the REAL reason that woman got scared off. Most of the time he is just too needy and attempts to build his entire existence and happiness around being with her. Guys...this is TOO MUCH pressure and feels suffocating. Men don't like overly needy women and women don't like overly needy men. So, how do you avoid turning into a clump of belly button lint stuck in some woman's navel? Simple...do NOT build your life around her or anyone else, for that matter. Have your own interests and activities. Build a happy and healthy life for yourself so that when you do find a good woman she compliments the good life you already have rather than creates or completes your life. Every good and quality relationship includes time away from each other and room for each person to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
Nice Guy Syndrome
Another mistake so many nice guys make is to devote all of their time into doing things for other people to the point where they aren't taking care of themselves. Learn to say no when you need or want to say it. It's okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of doing things for others that they could do for themselves. If you don't take care of yourself first you won't be worth a damn to anyone else. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.
Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many "nice guys" mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on and idolizes her that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These are what I like to call "Unrealistic Expectations". More often than not, these kinds of expectations go unmet and lead to pain, frustration and sometimes anger. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentments. This isn't healthy behavior and what it boils down to is a heavy dose of self inflicted suffering. Never set yourself up for this kind of disappointment. Treat yourself better than this.
Finally...if a man spends all of his time catering to the whims of others, how can he find the time to have a full and rich life? He can't, and his life is spent helping others to make their lives more interesting while his life becomes more and more dull and boring. He has little energy left for his own adventures and excitement and his love life suffers as a result. Women don't like boredom and stagnation.
The mistakes nice guys make are
Being too needy
Unrealistic Expectations/Premeditated Resentments
Idolizing a woman
Living for everyone else but himself and becoming dull
Making his happiness and existence too dependent on his relationships with others
If you recognize your own behavior in this list, you have probably blamed your "niceness" for hindering your relationships with women. Hopefully this article will help you to see and understand exactly where the problem is and what you need to do to fix it.
Here are a few things you can start doing right away to help you to stop making this mistakes with women.
Start saying "No" when you don't want to do someone a favor. "Sorry, I can't" is just as easy to say, and the world won't stop turning if you say no.
Go spend some time with and on yourself...make your life exciting and interesting. Do things you enjoy just because you enjoy it. You deserve this! It's YOUR life!
Don't worship women. They are human, make mistakes and aren't perfect. They are just like you for the most part, and are no better or worse than you are. Don't treat them like they deserve more than you do. If you don't respect yourself women won't respect you either.
You "need" food and water. You "need" shelter. You don't "need" any specific person to create your happiness and make you "somebody". If you feel like you "need" someone else to be happy then your feelings towards that person are NOT healthy. It's healthy to "want" someone to compliment who you ALREADY are, but NOT to "need" someone to define or complete you.
In conclusion ... don't lose the niceness, lose the neediness.
2006-07-18 02:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by DON 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is not exactly true. Many people blame things like "I was too nice" or "I was just being honest" when a relationship breaks up or they don't get their own way. It is just an excuse to make themselves feel better. Isn't it a lot easier to blame heartache on something like being too honest or too good, then to perhaps acknowledge the real reason like, "All I ever wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch tv" or "I was unemployed, unmotivated and insensitive"? I am not saying that these things were true in your situation, but if you are going to state yourself as being "too honest", then be honest with yourself and find out the REAL reason as to why the relationship didn't work out. If you do not do that, then you will never be able to learn from the mistakes and fix the problem.
Also, you must remember that not everyone who is being honest is also tactful. It is important not to lie, but at the same time, you can't intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Saying something like "God...you look like a beached whale in that dress!" versus saying something like, "That dress is nice, but I REALLY love the one you wore the other day. The color brought out your eyes." Which would you rather hear? They both say the same thing, but one is tactful and the other is just plain rude. Remember that when you are being "too honest".
2006-07-18 03:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by Tytania 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys do always finish last. But, dishonest people are the ones who always get ahead. The honest people are mostly always poor and greatly disrespected and mistreated like you said. Most of the crooks and dishonest people are the sucessful ones...if you've never notice that look around.
2006-07-18 02:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by korniegirl1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honest people almost seem to be innocents from another world. Their actions are motivated by considerations which men of this world do not understand. Everybody here is selfish. They have no principeled opposition to honesty as long as it does not come in their single-minded pursuit of self-interest.This alien breed of honest people appears like so many innocents abroad. So long as they harm their own interests the worldly wise men may praise them but secretly pity them for being such fools. However, these guys would not stop at that. They would even expose others by blurting out the truth.This the ordinary man fails to understand much less to tolerate.He is convinced that this world is populated with thieves and rogues and the only way to deal with them is to go one better than them. The honest guys spoil the show. Hence they are anathema
2006-07-18 03:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Prabhakar G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are on the whole dishonest now in the materialistic me culture prevailing. Plus all the "cool" people you see on TV are bad or at the very least dubious while the honest people are looked on as nutters. This whole country has been caught up in a storm of PC and everyone is now afraid to be honest. Small minded people are always fearful of honesty as it shakes them and they dont like what they dont understand. So in a word the reason why honest people are mistreted by others is that there are a lot of SCREWBALLS!!
2006-07-18 02:50:20 · answer #5 · answered by PJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, they finish last...as in saving the best for last. Honesty is respected by other honest people. If you are honest and find yourself being mistreated, it may be time to look for some new friends.
2006-07-19 05:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because a lot of people say they can trust a person when really they cant and always have it in the back of their mind that the other person is going to do things to hurt them. I hate how the real honest people know they wouldnt do anything but its always the one on the other end that doesnt believe and ***** it up so whoever's nice is always last.
2006-07-18 02:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by xburnxyourxfriendsx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An honest person is someone who would turn a wallet in with the cash untouched...or who will turn around and drive back if they are given too much change. Many people would view this as being a sucker.
I guess people think they are weak and naive. I dunno.
I worked with a girl who was given $10 too much at a resteraunt, but she decided it was OK because the girl was a witch with a capitol B and she wanted her to get in trouble. To me, that is just WRONG...but this girl felt she had a right to it.
2006-07-18 02:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by redfernkitty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys finish last and good girls never get the guy.
I think it is because a majority of people only care about themselves so when they get the chance to take something from someone they do their absolute best.
2006-07-18 02:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by staringmommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those aren't the traits that are valued in this world. If you want to be stepped on just be honest and polite at all times. Then one day you wake up angry to the point where you can't take it anymore and snap at people for the smallest things and they think it's because you're inconsiderate and rude.
2006-07-18 02:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by synchronicity915 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you must be rude and angry to get anywhere these days. I refuse to give into that! I'll finish last because I am a nice person and don't care to be a horrible disrespectful person like so many are.
2006-07-18 02:46:26 · answer #11 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋