I asked my husband what he would do if he ever found me cheating on him. He said if it makes me happy to be with someone besides him, then thats what i should do. I asked him if he would fight for me, he said if I wanted to leave then I should. Does that sound harsh to you? Or is he just overly confident?
2006-07-18 02:35:47 · 38 answers · asked by onehot_mama23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This doesn't sound good... He's clearly being non chalant about the depth of your commitment to each other, and whether that attitude stems from lack of caring, or overconfidence or resentful feelings over something, you need to get to the bottom of it. You should not be in a relationship if you feel like the other person could take you or leave you and they've actually shown such an air of indifference. I would NOT recommend infidelity as a means of testing him though. That will only add to the problems that already exist.
2006-07-18 02:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jane D 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No. He's right. Why go through the drama??? In the end trying to keep someone who cheated is not worth your time. I've been there and done that. My ex husband cheated on me the whole seven years we were together with tons of women and I fought to keep him and won every time. In the end I had a lazy good for nothing husband who had given me three children and I was working two jobs. Now tell me what good did fighting for him do??? NONE, because I finally got smart and left his A**!
2006-07-18 03:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by jennymustafa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. He, just like me, would say if you cheat, you're gone. That's it. I think your question to him was harsh. Cheating is the only completely inexcusable thing a person can do in a relationship. Don't ever do it, and that's B.S. that you think he could be harsh or overly confident. If my g/f who i loved for years now cheated on me, i'd drop her out of my life.
2006-07-18 02:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by Drew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he loves you a LOT. I think a big part of love is caring about the other person's happiness more than your own. He's saying if you're happier with someone else, he'd let you go. If you really wanted to leave he'd be selfish to try and keep you with him. That being said, the game you're playing is a dangerous one - don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answers to.
2006-07-18 02:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely confident. It's not very nice for him to toy with your mind like that but I think he's just being a little cocky. Yes he would probably miss you if you went off with another man but if that's what you wanted and he couldn't do anything to make you stay with him, why should he run after you like a madman? You wouldn't take him back anyway!! Unless you're in a "The Notebook" situation I think you two would be doomed and he's right to say that you shouldn't stay with him if you were ever to love another man.
2006-07-18 02:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any woman would like to have her man upset about her perhaps going off and having an affair. Some men are very "phelgmatic" in their temperaments and can come across downright uncaring, but the fact is if he is built that way, you sometimes have to take his pulse to see if he's still alive he's so non- commital. I think you need to somehow gently draw to his attention that being upset about this would be an indication of his committment to you. ( Did I mention phlegmatics are very stubborn? He probably won't agree with your pov, that's all) . Usually they do care, very much, they just don't have a clue how to convey that.
2006-07-18 02:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is a rational thinker who knows it is better to walk away from somthing that is not meant to be rather than get caught up in the drama.. My wife and I have a similar agreement.. If we feel the need to be with others we will tell the other rather than go through all the cheating crap, messing up the kids etc... Glad to say we are no where near having to do this and I beleive being adult enough to realize this is what makes our marriage a strong one...
2006-07-18 02:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is with it to me. You want to cheat, then you don't need to be with him and that's what he's telling you. Confident? Yeah, I'd say he was confident in all the right ways. He knows it's useless to fight for someone who wants to be elsewhere.
2006-07-18 02:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by lmdragonldy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is harsh is you asking this question to him. Why would you even put your husband in that situation. Anyone who cheats deserves what they get and if you want to cheat, then end it with your husband first. I don't blame him for acting that way...
2006-07-18 02:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by party girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is complex. He may feel quite ambivalent and not know what to do. Sometimes people say things out of pride ("I don't need you!") that are completely untrue. Needing someone puts you in a vulnerable position, and that is very uncomfortable for many people.
On the other hand, he may be looking for an easy way out. Further discussion is recommended.
2006-07-18 02:40:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋