Should a female end a relationship with a man who wants to marry her, but admits he has slept with men?

Question

I'm asking this question, giving you the understanding that he has done this in his past. He explains to her it was out of curiousity, and he loves her and would never hurt her. He proclaims that he would never be unfaithful to her, until death do them part. Regardless whether he slept with them during a period of time they were not together, or when he was less mature and more ignorant ... in his youth. Consider their ages 19 and 18 ... him being the eldest of the two. They've just given birth to their first child, and all he wants is to be with her ... forever.

I'm enjoying the answers so far, but I gotta say, just because a dude has slept with another man before ... doesn't give anyone the right to label him as anything other than his government name. Do you know anyone who has a sexual orientation chosen on their birth certificates? If not ... those are the types of "judgements" we as human beings need to stop issuing.

Hmm, I think I'm about to select a best answer on this one ... because I see a favorite. Firstly ... alot of you are responding as if I am a female asking this question ... I'm not. My picture is actually right there ... I'm a brother. All day. E'ryday. Just so you know ... this is MY story.

I am appalled at Micheal G's answer. This man just said I probably have Hiv/Aids ... now that is the most horrible answer I could have ever recieved. I just turned 27 bruh. I'm talking about something that happened 8 years ago. I am a healthy brother, and lastly ...it's a LIE that it would take 4-5 years for Hiv/Aids to be detected. You need to do some research. I would get you some lonks ... but I'm tired right now, and I'm still shocked at your reply.

Answer 1

Everything you have done in the past good or bad, positive or negative, make you the person you are now. If you at this time consider that you are worthy of this womans love, respect her and are sure that you want to be with her for ever then she should accept this. However, she may always have a doubt in the back of her mind that maybe you are really wanting to be with a man, this is a natural feeling, and with your dedication, perseverence love and kindness she would overcome this eventually. You have a beautiful child together, let go of the past and embark on your FUTURE life together with eagerness!! Love her alot and never stop assuring her of that fact, in an ideal world the two of you would have only ever been together, but this my friend is a very UNIDEAL world!
Make sure she knows your feelings and make sure she knows that she is where your future lies, love conquers all things, and true love never fails.

Answer 2

Yes! She should leave you! Unfortunately, this goes beyond the question of sexual preference or trust. The fact of the matter is both of you are at-risk of contracting HIV/Aids regardless of the time that has passed between your last male-to-male encounter. Science is still not 100% accurate on being able to detect HIV/Aids. Each individual's immune system breaks down differently over time. Some are slower than others. Also, it is not uncommon for the disease to show up 4 to 5 years after sexual intercourse. Since you are 19 there is still a strong possibility that you may have HIV/Aids. Unless, your last sexual encounter with a male was when you were 13. Therefore, she should move on or at least hold off several years to be sure.

Answer 3

Frankly, though it isn't talked about in male culture, a lot of women do this too. Ask yourself the question, should a man end a relationship with a woman who has slept with other women? I don't think so. Experimentation is a natural thing to do. I've done it and don't regret it, yet I'm marrying a wonderful man that I'm very much in love with. If the experiments with men were before the current relationship I don't see what the problem is. Now, if the man still has sexual tendancies toward other men, then maybe he needs to talk it out with a qualified marriage counciler.

Answer 4

Everyone experiments when they are young. Sexual experimentation is normal. If he slept with guys in the past and knows that he is not interested in men now, then I don't see a problem. As long as I know that he is committed to you and your child, why leave him? He wants to be there for you and your baby so let him. Just because he slept with men doesn't mean he's a bad person or father.

Answer 5

Some youths do experiment. H. G. Wells in his autobiography talks about relationships with other boys. You say you have a child by him. Go ahead and give the child a father. At worst he is bisexual and all may go well. Good luck.

Answer 6

I wish them the best. Although personally I couldn't be with a man who has been with men. I would always harbor feelings that my life and family are my husbands front.

Answer 7

I am female . i do not want to marry to the guy who ever do that.sorry to say that.. If this guy stopped to do this for long ago. he should not let people know this part of his life. Bury it ,pl. let me explain more. woman is not sure what will happen and what will she may meet in the future if her husband get back to those of his friends, what will she can do. There are so many guy in this world , my be she think that. But thank you for this guy who can say fact. Please forget the past and please forget the friends from past also.

Answer 8

You have already hurt her. History tends to repeat itself. I know i wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship as such.

Answer 9

I THINK YOU SHOUL DBE CATIOUS IN WHATEVER YOU DO.BUT IF HE CLAIMS TO WANT YOU AND ONLY YOU JUST KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN .NOWADAYS THERE ARE MORE DOWN LOW BROTHERS WHO WON'T EVEN ADMIT THEY HAVE SLEPT WITH A MAN HE HAS COURAGE. AND HEART AND HE MUST REALLY LOVE TO ADMIT THAT HE HAS DONE THIS.

Answer 10

Yes I would levae him. Curiosity or not. If you are gay you are always gay. Nothing you can do can change that, and you will only hurt yourself if you try. Eventually he will quit lying to himself and you will be left heartbroken.