How can a woman take back her man if he was having an affair for 16 months?
The man was in Iraq when he met his girlfriend and she found out about it. He said he would end things with the girl but didn't. When he returned to the States, he continued having the affair and she was well aware of it. She even talked to the mistress on the phone a few times.
The man went back and forth between the two girls for a few months. He then said he stopped talking to the mistress. 4 months passed and the wife broke into his email account and found out that they were still continuing the affair. She called the mistress and told her that he was going to end things with her. He called and said that they were okay and he went to her house for a few days.
The mistress told the man that he could go home, no tears this time. He hasn't talked to the mistress so he obviously went home.
How could his wife accept him back into her life? And how could he do this to both women?
2006-07-18 00:46:36 · 16 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People marry with specific understandings of what that means for them...
So many people have looked me in the eyes and said "I married for better or worse - I guess this is just the worse and I'll stick it out".
when clearly...what they were suffering was something that would not go away soon and would ultimately lead to divorce.
What I am saying is, this isn't uncommon.
And if she takes him back, and she forgives, and prays alot...and he grows up...it might be a long lasting marriage.
My money says not.
Which is exactly why people shouldn't fall in love with folks that are married...the odds are stacked against failure and a repetition of behavior.
I hope for the sake of the mistress, she can move on and find someone who is single, straightforward, and trustworthy.
2006-07-18 00:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by Warrior 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If I was the wife, his butt would be on the curb with my shoe permanently up his a**.
Of course, I was the woman who had a hubby living with someone in another state for almost a year and a half before I found out. As soon as I did, he was out of there. That was 11 years ago and I've never looked back.
And he didn't "do" this to both women, they each knew of the other therefore they allowed it to happen. But in all reality, the mistress should have walked as soon as she knew about the wife. That's what a real woman would have done, even if they had legitimate feelings.
A marriage vow is sacred, too bad the mistress and the hubby didn't know that.
2006-07-18 08:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the wife had any self-respect, she would have filed for divorce after his first lie. I could see forgiving one time, but he kept things going with his mistress. The wife called the mistress to end things, not the husband. And the husband proved that he wasn't ready to end anything, because he went back to the mistresses house after that. The marriage should have ended right there. This man cannot be trusted....EVER! What's the sense in staying in a marriage like that...it will only continue to cause heartache after heartache! This isn't a marriage...it's a joke!! The wife has to realize that....and SOON!!!
2006-07-18 08:09:56 · answer #3 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only stupid woman like her would only do such stupid things. When a man had started an affairs with a mistress, there will be no ending unless the mistress had made up her mind to end the relationship or the man had really repent his mistakes.
Man like him should serve him bitter!
2006-07-18 09:13:47 · answer #4 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His behavior was so misleading, to both women. Men will do this because the women are allowing him to go back and forth. Someone needs to step up and stop the cycle. It is very hard to forgive someone after having an affair. You'll questions his every move. And history is he is likely to do the same thing again. If wife can't trust or forgive behavior, she should leave relationship.
2006-07-18 08:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by viclyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother is handling the same situation, so I know it's hard to let him go even though he did you wrong. You probably love him very much, but it's blinding you from the fact that HE didn't love you as much in return. Because, if he had TRULY loved you, with all his heart, he could've said to himself, "No, I love my wife, I shouldn't be doing this to her," and STOP himself.
Cheating usually happens when a couple is separated; the longer they're away from each other, the more it's harder for them to keep the relationship. It gets boring because they can't share their love as much as they used, and they meet new people and fall in love with them as if the other relationship didn't exist. I hope you get my point, lol.
Phone calls & emails were obviously not enough for him, so he probably started this relationship to satisfy his "libido".
I know that everyone gets a second chance (even though they don't deserve it), but um....don't do it. It's merely a suggestion, but still think about what I said.
If that's not enough for you, then remember this:
"If a man cheated on you once, he could obviously do it again."
Hope all goes well for you. :-(
2006-07-18 08:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the wife takes back a cheat and a sneaky one at that then the wife gets what is coming to her, the saying goes once a cheat always a cheat...he obviously likes the mystery and probably has been cheating on both of them with other woman they are oblivious to reality... he needs some alone time....
2006-07-18 07:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by punkinhead0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may find the way to forgive him if she love him but, will never forget. What happens in time however is that anger, resentment, broken trust in the marriage, etc etc will resurface and the marriage will fall apart. If she wants to take him back maybe a marriage counselor may help. I think she also has to look at how this man could lie to both woman, is he worth it if he has it in him to do this? From my own experience the marriage is broken already and may never be fixed even with counseling......
2006-07-18 07:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by Bazinga 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife thinks he's really someone worth holding onto and the mistress has no more sense than the wife.
2006-07-18 07:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly enough, the wife accepted his appology and believed dthe stories he told her about wanting her back and still loving only her.
been there done that, regret it tremendously now, because my hubby's cheated again and now its killing our family yet again to end this relationship and move on with our lives.
as for why the man did this to both women?... because he's a snake
hopefully the wife will see through the stories and lies and realize the kind of man this is before too many more hurts occur
2006-07-18 09:15:09 · answer #10 · answered by joe's wife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋