i am an 18 yr old girl.i was sexually molested by my cousin for almost upto 5 yrs-from when i was 6 or 7 till upto when i was 11.i dunno why i cudnt realize it was all wrong back then.......so anyway,i hooked up with a real nice guy 4 yrs back.i told him all abt it and he was real supportive and dint touch me at all cuz of the fear that he might hurt me in some way.last year i kissed him for the first time and then i realized i cud trust him enuf so we made out this March.i'm really close to him now and we almost came close enuf to having sex last month.
after coming this far,i suddenly realized m not ok with him physically.i somehow keep remembering the whole childhood thing all over again.
am i doing something wrong?am i leading him on?its not that i dont love him......i do,from the bottom of my heart.i trust him too.its only that i dont want to share my body with him or anyone else again for a long time....is this common?
2006-07-17 23:01:50 · 9 answers · asked by questiongirl14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
what is probably happening is that you are remembering, as you get closer and closer to actual sex, the only other times you've ever had it. it doesn't mean you dread him, only that you dread sex. in your subconscious mind, sex and abuse are one and the same.
tell him this, and keep it at your comfort level for now. you may want to see a psychologist, if you can afford it, and discuss it. i believe that, if you give it time, and don't push it, when you least expect it, it will all happen naturally. it is very important that you let him know how you feel, so you won't be leading him on. help him understand that this is still a big issue, but you want to overcome it as much as he does.
i'm sure if you keep making out, sometimes you'll get carried away, and you'll panic and retreat. that's fine. as you realize more and more that youcan retreat, that he is allowing you space, then you will feel less threatened by it. one day, before you know it, you'll have done it.
you're not doing anything wrong. take a deep breath. he has been doing great so far, trust him to respect your limits, but make sure you tell him how you feel at all times. you have been doing great too. respect your instincts and your limits and you'll do fine.
i wish you good luck.
2006-07-17 23:15:24 · answer #1 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 8⤊ 1⤋
You didn't do anything wrong in the first place, neither are you doing anything wrong now. I would suggest that you get some counseling for yourself so that this horrible experience doesn't ruin your whole adult life. For not, put off the sex with the boyfriend; he will understand if he knows the reason why, and help yourself heal. A good counselor will help you over this and ensure that you're not taken advantage of again. God Bless.
2006-07-17 23:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you really love him and your not leading him on he chose to do kiss you back dont worry and the past is over but that is sick what your cousin did wow!! anywayz i just would take it slow dont have sex with him till a long time or even when you get married!! and if you trust him alot then let him now how your feeling it will help you alot and get things off your chest!if he was there for you through your tuffest time and supported you then he really cares about just keep that in mind!
GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS!! HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT!
2006-07-17 23:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by Found love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him ya so!! If he replaced into became off via it, he could have only omitted you and not teased you approximately it. tell him, he'd be an fool to no longer be conscious of you have been crushing on him, and your only sorry it took you writing a observe to determine it out. yet you gotta say it with a grin and slightly appealing physique of concepts. do no longer act extraordinary or diffrent....have faith me, he teased you approximately it, that is okay. Now bypass ask him what he's gonna do approximately it, or, I choose the ambitious technique, and only provide him a great ole kiss and get it over with...good luck
2016-12-10 09:22:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Your not ready for sex yet. How do I know, because you first have to ask. Sex changes everything, and should be between two people that are married, sex is sacred and should not be entered into lightly, like marriage.
2006-07-17 23:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
past is gone already so forget about itn think of the future n be practical in all sence , better judge urself wht to do next
2006-07-17 23:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by sundeep2323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's common honey, don't panick it's only natural that you feel this way because you were traumatized, but don't let that affect you so much or hender you, get professional help and councelling
2006-07-17 23:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by Heba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its always better to go with your feelings
2006-07-18 00:28:16 · answer #8 · answered by shanikhan75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i would just kill myself now instead of later
2006-07-17 23:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by WORDZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋