I'm a very dominant and sexual person. But my wife isn't. She was raised in a very sheltered and Christain background. She did not have sex til she was in her mid 20's. And even then she has only been with 3 guys (myself included). Is there a way to get her into BDSM to the degree I am or am i a bad person for wanting to try to change her to give me more pleasure. If you need more info ask for it ok.
2006-07-17 22:45:57 · 11 answers · asked by David D 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Try taking your wife to the website called Castlerealm.com. You havent said what part of the lifestyle you are into. If it's s/m, then she might be reluctant to join in the festivities, not being into pain. If it's just Domination and servitude you might stand a better chance. If you're into the bondage and discipline area of things, you will have to build her trust in you before she will be willing to try anything. There's a good chance that she will not be interested in any of it, given her strict religeous background, in which case you're out of luck. You can also try to get her to chat on alt.com's site, but I dont think you will have much luck. I have been in the lifestyle a long time, and the one thing I do know is that she will probably balk if you try to force her into it. I am full Dominant, and live with my Dominant fiance, who is also into the lifestyle. And before all of you out there judge me, or the lifestyle, realise that everybody in it is there willingly, and that, contrary to popular beliefe, we do NOT cause injury or death to the submissives under us. Quite the contrary, most of us are very safety conscious, and love our submissives very much. We have a saying in the lifestyle, safe, sane and consensual.
2006-07-17 23:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by Darqblade 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bdsm Wife
2016-09-29 22:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to dispel is the notion that you can change a person, even someone close like one's spouse. Only they can change themselves. Others only have influence.
With that said, you are not a bad person for wanting to introduce something that you find pleasurable. Indeed, it is actually healthy as this is an honest expression of your wants and urges. To at least introduce the idea is perfectly fine.
The issue then becomes how to deal with her reaction. If she is as prudish as you are intimating, then you'll be in for a rough start. While I can say that your desires are not evil, not everyone else is going to agree. However, she is your wife, for better or for worse, so she needs to know about this aspect of you.
Not that the worst-case-scenario is out of the way, you are likely to get a number of differing reactions, but you can steer them by how you introduce the topic. I would suggest that you gradually introduce elements of BDSM, one at a time if possible, until you start pressing against her boundaries. I'm not saying that you sneak it in, just be gentile with introducing it.
Nevertheless, there were come a point where a hard boundary will likely be hit. It might come at the very beginning. It might go deep into the introduction. Only she will be able to tell.
One final thought. I would recommend approaching this from the vantage point of not just your own pleasure, but hers as well. Ultimately, BDSM is about a relationship, and in order for a relationship to succeed, both persons involved have to get something out of it.
Hope that helps.
2006-07-18 15:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be open and honest about it. Prepare yourself for a negative answer. Your not a bad person but you should've discussed this with her before you married. If this is a new fantasy for you, share it with her, she might try it just because she wants to satisfy you but don't be pushy about it . Did she know you were in to this before you wed?
2016-03-16 22:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you should sit down and talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. Ask her if she is willing to learn the things that you would like her to. You must also be willing to listen to her wants and disires. If she is willing to give you some of yours, you must be willing to return the favor.
2006-07-17 22:51:06 · answer #5 · answered by Michele B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is that?Have u asked her already..what did she say?Anyway, she took a vow saying she would do anything to oblige you,and you took one saying you would honor,cherish and respect her.So the two of you will have to come to some sort of compromise that enables you both to keep your end of the deal.Good Luck
2006-07-17 22:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by Direktor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. But once she's in to BDSM, she'll only be your ex-wife.
2006-07-17 22:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by bharat b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a very sick person. Don't try to drag her down with you. It'll never work.
2006-07-17 22:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by billlucas14all 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
try to convince her and be friendly with her that will solve ur sexual problem
2006-07-17 22:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by supriya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, these people here can help you.
2006-07-17 22:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by apakejadahnyaini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋