Can cheating be related to pass bad relationships??

Question

In a 10 year relationship I cheated on my partner off and on for a few years. It stopped 3 years ago. I trulytruly feel like a total jerk.

I had a bad family life, a mother who left and never saw again. A father who didnt give a crap. My first love cheated on me a few days before we were going to lose our virginity together. I was devastated.

It took me a long time to learn my lesson. My partner never found out because I dont want to hurt them anymore. I will live with my shame and guilt, but I want to be a good lover for them. I love them and I am seriously stupid. Could me doing this be cause by my past?? thanks

Answer 1

Yea, theres on effect of bad relationships on your past to your cheating. Perhaps, for one, it devalues relationships for you. You suffered from bad ones before, so you may think a good relationship is just an ideal; a dream. Perhaps subconsciously, it means less to you than to your partner. But you're right, you can still get out of it. You need your partner to understand your past relationships that were bad. YOu need to think that a relationship can work out if you want it to, and that involves letting go of the hurt that the people in your past relationships have cost you. You need to be able to forgive them, and to forgive yourself to for whatever guilt you're feeling. Remember: what doesnt kill you can either handicap you, or make you stronger. Your choice.

Answer 2

I guess you could blame your past but at the time when you was cheating you did know better. The blame is all yours. You knew what the results could have been. Glad you turned yourself around. We are all human and we do stupid things, luckily most of us learn from our mistakes. Hope your partner never finds out. Leave the past were it's at.

Answer 3

If you call it "cheating", you are pre-judging yourself. In many cultures, you are just spreading your wings little butterfly. The guilt is due to your upbringing. If you felt the need to spread your wings, your relationship was not giving you everything you needed and you were looking for more. What is the harm of trying to get it all, of trying to reach for the stars, the perfect mate?

When you lose the desire to fly, well then maybe that will be a good relationship to keep.

Answer 4

It could be caused by your past and you could spend the rest of your life blaming your actions on the past actions that others perpetrated on you... child molesters do it... if you want to count yourself in the same company go right ahead... or you could admit your mistakes, learn from them and actually effect change in your life as a result.

Answer 5

You're asking the wrong question. It could very well be true that your childhood did influence you into cheating, BUT by asking that question, you're not really looking for the reason why you did it, you're only looking for justification for what you've done.

The real questions you should be asking are:
Do i really love my lover?
Do i tell my lover?
How can i make it up to my lover?

After you resolve those, then you'll know what to do.

Answer 6

If you seriously loved him you would of never of done that. If you had a bad past and found a man that you absolutley loved, you would cherish him and not cheat. If you really love him, you would tell him and let him make his decision. You need to blame yourself for thinking of you.

Answer 7

Infidelity is mostly tied to low self esteem,which is mostly tied to past experiences,whether they be childhood or otherwise.The issues with your mother have undoubtedly effected your view on women and how u treat them.

Answer 8

you knew it was wrong so learn to live with it and if you truly are ashamed of your self then learn from your mistake and don't ever do it again don't blame it on your past thats a cop out

Answer 9

yes