Can u really have a good and lasting friendship with a colleague at ur work????

Question

i hav had some awful experiences with colleagues that i tried being friends with........a lot of the time they end up being phony....
is it okay to keep ur relationship with ur colleagues at purely official limits.........

Answer 1

I would have to say no, because I've never kept a friendship with someone that I've worked with on a regular basis. However, I've had long term associates but these ppl are not technically friends per se. I was also very hurt by a former co-worker who happened to be an older lady...approximately 60 yrs. of age. She befriended me when I was promoted to a supervisor and we hung out at work only because she was a member of the leadership team. However, I was ultimately terminated from that company b/c I reported unethical behavior and discrimination so the company turned on me and I was terminated. This particular so called friend at the time, seemed concerned for me and called me everyday until I went to an atty. to file a wrongful termination/discrimination/invasion of medical privacy suit against the company at hand. This so called friend was also african-american and figured that she'd jump on the bandwagon and go find herself an atty. although still employed by the company and try to sue for discrimination b/c she saw the documents that I had and figured I'd be a help to her in order to sue and gain a hefty settlement. To make a long story short after I told her one night on the phone that I wasn't discussing anything further with her concerning my legal case per the advice of my atty. .....well, she stopped calling and I haven't spoken to her since. Makes me feel that she was just a snitch and definitely not a true friend so I will never allow myself to become super close to someone at work and I keep all of my business to myself and just discuss work while working.

Answer 2

Its a difficult question and the first reaction to your question is 'It depends'... Depends on you and the friend in question... Also depends on the organization you are in. I know people who have great friends at work (I am one of them... touchwood)... and I know ones who dont have any frnds at work.

I guess one just needs to be extra careful with relationships at work. There is a difference between being friendly and being friends. You can be friendly with everyone in the office but choose the friends very carefully (specially when it comes to those of the opposite sex). A sour relationship with a colleague can affect your work adversely.

You said you have had awful experiences with colleagues... Sorry to say this but if this has happened again and again then may be you are at fault and you dont choose your friends carefully. Have you tried to analyze why you land up with such phony people most of the time??? It cant be coincidence or plain bad luck if its happening again and again. Think about it...

And dont get disheartned bcos u ran into a few phonies... I am sure you will find better friends in the future... All the best!!!

Answer 3

see u can not judge everyone by same parameter.
u can not draw a line that i will not do friendship with colleagues or i'll do friendship with colleagues.
just like in the outer world u don't do this.
instead it will depend upon the person who is ur collegue.how friendly ,nice&caring he or she is.so u got to see every person with different angle not with the same.

Answer 4

Yes you can have good friends..but before making them ur best buddy you need to judge them and find out whether they suit your personality or not....but let the friendship be within certain limit....

Answer 5

It is difficult to find good and lasting friendship. Friends are there to share your feelings but not for the money! Lots of them become friends looking at their wealth, contacts, etc... but not their heart. It is better to keepaway with people whom we don't know for some time untill we get to know each other...