My sister is getting a divorce and moving back home; should I tell her I am Gay?

Question

My sister and I have not always been close but I notice since she has moved far off we have talked more open. I haven't ever told a family member I was gay. My sister has been married 5 years and is now getting a divorce. She is moving back home for a while. So I have been thinking about telling her I am gay. because Since she has been gone I have open up my life more to people around me. I feel I might aswell bit the bullet and tell her. But I am affraid she might tell my parents if she gets mad at me for something. But on the other hand she has always question my sexual preferance anyway. I feel she might spy on me anyway and so I might need to tell her. Then again she might help me find someone right for me! Has anyone been through this delima?

Answer 1

This is one of those "age-old-questions” where the only correct answer is to consider the pros and cons. If you can live with the negative consequences should all of the bad things happen, then tell her. If you cannot live with those consequences, do not tell her. One would hope that after five years of marriage, your sister’s maturity level would preclude her “tattling” on you.

In my experience, most parents know about the sexuality of their children long before the children tell them.


Good luck!

Will D
Enterprise AL

Answer 2

Do you really trust you r sister with anything else? I mean, let's not suppose she gets mad and rats you out, but Do you trust her already with anything else? How old is she? Is she mature?

If you tell her, you know you might have to prepare for positive or negative feedback anyway. I don't think she would be immature enough to rat you out immediately, but just the fact that she's suspicious, leads me to think she might have already made her suspicion known to your mom at least. Just be ready that if you say something, be prepared to tell your parents either way.

Somehow, secrets just gets spilled. I hope you're ready to come out to your family. If not, wait it out and hope you have the support of good friends. What do your friends think you should do? I know most people will tell you, come out and who cares what they think, but most families will still have the traditional values we're all afraid of.

Best of luck love.

Answer 3

I read your other question where you "resolved" to let God rid you of your gay thoughts. I wanted to answer that question as I feel it will definitely answer this one. 1st off, I answered another question(-er) abt opening up on being gay to his family. Rather than "facing" them. I encouraged the person to seek his family's help in determining his sexual orientation.(he still needed to be sure). That way, they are involved(thus always supportive) and committed after the revelation/finding out the conclusion, of being gay or not.

However, I feel sin is more in connection with the harm it does to others and yourself as God's creation. In sex, that would be sleaziness. I believe, when people have sex in love, and maybe/perhaps even rejoice at the birth of a child nine months later, nothing is sleazy about it. Dont you? Each of us are created thus (or not). So define sin appropriately.

Now in regards to orientation. If it is not sleazy, would you consider attraction to either the same or opposite sex as sinful? Personally, I feel something
"Homo-" is just a little less" then "Hetero-". That's just my philosophy. In my belief system however, I feel utter disdain to sleaziness done by either orientation and feel sad about the lives born from such acts.

Having said all that, re: your dilemma with your sister. You cud "blame" her for having a divorce (stupid choice of spouse or ill-equipped for marriage or whatever) so that you can be un-ruffled by her opinion of your sexuality. In other words, why care what she thinks. Its YOUR OWN LIFE. So invite her in or not, but dont be bothered with anything she says, after that. Just take it in consideration, thats all.

Re: your seeking guidance thru religion for gayness... sorry, better you seek guidance to NOT be sleazy. Other than that, I agree with others who say God made you THE WAY YOU ARE. Its only Humans who have ever wreaked hell on gays, not God. Do you realize that? Wonder why those hetero-sluts do not get hell wreaked on them as well. Hmmmm,...probably exposes the hypocrisy within.

One last word. Dont resist temptation. Thwart it. Seek God's help to do that well. Know thy enemy.

As for the guy your "in" to... hey, he's committed. Leave him be. Dont bug!

Good luck and God speed.

Answer 4

I have found that being honest and open with the people that you care about is the best thing. They are going to find out eventually and it might hurt more because they didn't find out. Go ahead and tell your sister. It sounds like you need to tell someong in your family. If she tells your family, then you will just have to deal with it then.

Answer 5

You genuinely want a metamorphosis and deserve one. i could communicate on your husband and tell him which you somewhat want issues to be extra desirable and how you notice that occuring is for his sister to circulate out so which you the two could have extra privateness. $4 hundred is sufficient to hire a room or a small place of abode for one man or woman. only look interior the paper for rooms to hire and you will locate her some thing. you won't be able to be envisioned to help your husband and his sister till you die. it is bull****. Your husband won't be a social butterfly yet he could desire to nonetheless plan to do issues with you. tell him the way you sense. do no longer carry back. tell him which you somewhat want and could have extra high quality time with him. If he keeps making plans without you or only ignores the way you sense then possibly you may desire to depart him. No component in staying with somebody who won't guard your needs. If I have been you that's what i could do. communicate on your husband immediately approximately all of this. enable him understand which you somewhat want his sister out of the domicile and you will help her discover a sparkling place. tell him that his son can stay for below a undeniable term....we could say 3 months. you would be assisting the two one among them and likewise getting what you want too. i individually do no longer think of your issues are extensive yet you only have too many at as quickly as :) guard 1 at a time and you will see your existence commencing up to get extra desirable. sturdy success.

Answer 6

No one can give you an answer to this question. Only do what feels right. If I was gay, I would never tell anyone! But, thank god I am straight. If you don't want someone to know, keep your mouth shut.

Answer 7

Tell her, if you think the relationship between you 2 can withstand this fact/reality. I believe you are old enough to know what you are in for, & not just having the thought of 'need to answer to your family/friends'. You only have youself to answer, should anything happens, isn't it? Don't be vexed, just follow your heart, be truthful & sincere. :)

Answer 8

Why are you keeping your real identity a secret? Are you ashamed of yourself? Why? There is nothing wrong being a gay, there are millions of them. Why hide? My stepson is a gay, he recently became trans gender, the relatives were shock but after awhile they are okey with it. In order to be happy you have to be true to yourself.

Answer 9

Just be frank to your family members.They are all adults now and will accept your status, anyway you are not the only gay in the world

Answer 10

tell her. she will love you just the same. she and the rest of your family probably suspect it anyways. there are major signs that usually stand out about someone who is gay. Most importantly be honest with yourself.