I have a 7 year old daughter that really puts me to the test in public when she doesn't get her way - help?

Answer 1

Read "Choice Theory" by Dr. William Glasser

Answer 2

Throwing tantrums? How does she handle disappointment in private- like at home? In front of extended family- Grandma's house?

Next time you take her to the store with you, before you even get out of the car... You've found a parking place, turn off the car and tell her the expectation and the consequence- "You will behave nicely (whatever word you want to use), or I will take you back home." Make it an official "rule" that applies to everyone.

Be ready, willing and able to follow through- leave IMEDIATELY when/if she starts tantrum-ing (is that a real word? hope so) No deals, no talking, no begging, no bribes. (Don't reward misbehavior!!) "You're acting like a baby, so I am going to take you home." Take her by the hand and WALK OUT of the store. Don't go back that day- at least with her. Leave her with her other parent if you must go to the store that day.

Above all, stay consistent. Leave the store EVERY single time she starts throwing a fit. Let her know that she will have another chance, just not today. Let her know that you love her, but will not tolerate the behavior. If there are younger kids, and they start doing the same thing, she/they need to see the same consequence- behave at the store or you go home-- it's a "rule"!!

Answer 3

Guess what? YOU are the parent - not her. If she throws a tantrum then you stop everything and say "if you act that way we are going home" and be prepared to carry out your threat. If she won't go with you then say goodbye and simply walk away from her. Of course you should not just leave her but pretend to. She will soon learn if she acts up you take her home. She will come running after you and then you ask if she will behave. This should teach her she is not the boss and bad behaviour is not acceptable.
If all fails have the mafia bump her off.
KIDDING........ Seriously - try the above method. No need to get mad, that gives her a reaction.... don't get emotional. Be IN CHARGE!!

Answer 4

I have found that ignoring tantrums is very effective. If she is disturbing others, then with an erie silence, take her by the hand and remove her from the store. If she puts up too much of a struggle, tell her you can carry her out if she will not go on her own steam (works ever time). I have never had to escort the same child out of a store twice.

Trust me, you are not the first parent to have to do this. You will get some looks of acknowledgement from other people who have sooooo been there.

good luck

Answer 5

Don't give in to her anymore. You have to be the dominant one all the time- even at home, even if it means that she cries and throws tantrums in public. A little 3 yr. old I know told her mom recently that she was going to pee her pants if her mom didn't buy the toy she wanted at the toy store! Either that's a very stubborn little girl or a very smart one! Your daughter is getting to the age that she is learning how to manipulate you and she will continue to do it the rest of her life. Start putting your foot down now or you will regret it.

Answer 6

I had this problem with my son and I ended up going to parenting classes. I was a school counselor but sometimes you're children don't necessarily care what you do for a living. lol What worked for me was to explain what my job was at the store and what his job was. He was four, I talked where he could understand but it seemed like I was being more mature and not arguing with him.

I picked a time when I didn't have to go to the store and off we went. This way, if he acted up I could just leave. I reminded him before we went in of our talk. We had not been in that store five minutes when he started throwing a fit. I picked up my purse, left the cart, ignored him and started looking for my keys as I walked to the door. At first I didn't think he was going to follow me. He just couldn't believe I was following through on this. He finally came crying after me. I opened up the door and put him in his seat belt when we got in. He tried crying on the way home. I totally ignored him and did for the rest of the day. He knew I was very unhappy. I never had another problem with that. I had other problems of course, but a variation on this situation seemed to always work. Just keep telling yourself, "and this too shall pass".

Answer 7

I agree with the answer previous to mine. Also in general, the accepted theory is that a child who acts up in public is not getting enough attention from the parent during other times. This can be true, I have a daughter that has 4 children. They do not necessarily act badly in public situations but they will demand attention in public. They will climb on total strangers and talk constantly to them. When you try to leave they will follow you as far as possible asking questions and telling you things. They are trying to get you to stay. Before you leave they will ask when you will be back. They get no quality time from my daughter or my son-in-law. She is to involved with herself. One of those people that even when she is trying to do good it always ends up being about her. He comes home to her telling him what his children need to be punished for or what he needs to make them do.
In many cases however, just the opposite is true. I have seen examples of children that do this because they get all the parents attention during their private times. Then when in public they become jealous of Mom or Dad paying attention to anything or anyone other than them. They can even be jealous of Mom shopping for groceries because her focus is not on them.
This may not seem to answer your question. But, maybe by considering what you do with your children at home alone you can find out why they act out elsewhere and then make the necessary changes at home. Do you block out any time in your day to just play with her? Do you cling to her during your time together by allowing her to cling to you? If you answered no to the first change it to a yes. If you answered yes to the second find activities that she can participate in without you being there with her. She will fight these separations at first but will quickly adjust if you hold to them. In the first case you will see an almost immediate improvement.

Answer 8

she knows that this affects you. she is using it against you. let her throw her tantrum but let her know that there will be a punishment when she gets home. Juvenile Detention Officer

this may work but there are several ways

or you can try positive reinforcement. good day at the store you get a treat only when you get home ( don't let her pick a treat out at the store though)

Answer 9

I would take her outside and spank her , not too hard just to get your point across , then once she calms down if you still need to go to the store , return , if she does it again , repeat what you did earlier this time though take her home and tell her that if she continues to act that way she will never get to go with you to the store again.

Answer 10

Spank her A$$ hell thats what happened to me and my brother when we were kids thats what is wrong with kids these days there isnt enough spankings. Because parents are scared some one will call the cops on them for abuse screw that sh!t. Woop the hell out of her she will start behaving.