Help please!This is serious, so and way more important than 2 points! What to do?

Question

I feel so bad, I promised my friend I wouldn't say anything, but we really need guidance. She just told me that Every since we were in the 7th grade, her uncle has been molesting her. We are up coming juniors now! She said she doesn't want to say anything, b/c the first time it happened he said that no one would believe her if she told. She has put on weight from stress over the years,and she is a very fun loving person,but I have always seen pain in her eyes but her fam just thinks it's overeating and that she is perfect.She thinks that the fam will fall apart if she says anything, but it is getting the best of her.She told me that she has learned to forgive him,but needs closure to this pain. H e wasn't beating her or holding her down, but she didn't know how to stop him, she just laid there, I told her that it isn't her fault, but she thinks it is. This is considered rape right? How can she tell her mom or fam? Is it best to stay quiet and move on? Please help?

Answer 1

It's NOT her fault, he's the adult and he should know better. Just sit everyone, (except him) in the family down and just come out with it and tell them.

She needs to tell her family and the police and have his molesting raping *** put in jail. IF she doesn't want this to happen to others in her family and maybe anyone else he meets.

The b****** needs to be locked away in prison forever. Molesting children is wrong, How can people just so casually steal the innocence of babies? It makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

There are just some secrets that are too harmful to keep. You are trying to get her some help and in doing that, you are being a very good friend to her. I was molested too by my uncle when I was a kid. I didn't want to tell anyone for a long time as I was afraid that I might get blamed, or that no one would believe me etc. Convince her that she needs to tell someone. He is probably telling her that if she tells something bad will happen to her or her family. Molesters like to try to make you feel responsible for their evil deeds. Tell her it is not her fault and that you believe her and you will go with her to tell her mother, her pastor, the police the guidance counslor, your mother etc. Whoever she feels most comfortable telling, but find a responsible and caring adult. I think you should tell your parents too. Also, this guy is probably doing the same thing to a bunch of other kids and probably some of her own cousins and siblings. My uncle molested his own grandkids as well as me, my brother, and my cousin. Silence is what these guys feed off of and it is how they get by with molesting kids. Your friend will feel much better after she has gotten this secret out in the open, The truth will set you free. The truth might also spare some other poor kids from going through what she has had to suffer. So you are a great friend and you need to continue to stand by her as it will be hard on her for a while. Keep telling her that it is not her fault and that she is not to blame for his sickness and perversion. Everything that will happen to him will happen because of the bad things and choices he made, after all, he is the adult and she is the kid.

Answer 3

First of all, yes it is rape hence the molestation because he's been taking her body without her consent regardless to what anyone says. She needs to tell her mama in a private place before she tells the rest of the fam. Some moms don't believe their daughters but I think that's wrong because they're supposed to protect their daughters. Most moms don't realize that her daughter is the victim but if her mama is a good mom she'll handle this in any and every way possible without ruining her daughter. It is NEVER a good idea to stay quiet and move on. Since you and your friend are the only people who know about this, you need to tell your parents and tell them you want to tell the police. Give this suggestion to the police, tell them your friend wants to set her uncle up by telling you when he's coming to visit, when he does you tell her to call you and you call the police. Hope this plan works out! Go by it exactly if you care about your friend.

Answer 4

You must get help for her if she can't. If she will tell a counselor, then the counselor will talk to her mom about it. The uncle is probably doing more fam members or has in the past. Maybe he did her mom and she never told. Get help so she can go forward with her life. Her self esteem is low and she will not succeed in all avenues in life unless she works this out. God bless her . I know the experience well.

Answer 5

It's molestation -- Not rape.


Why don't you forcefully take her to a councellor? She'll thank you in the end. Or, if you want, go with her when she goes to confront her family. Hold her hand and make sure she knows you're there to support her and that you know she's doing the right thing.


Go over a script with her, "Mom, Dad, When I was , Uncle touched me. I didn't say anything because I was afraid, and he's been doing it ever since."


Something like that, you see?


The best thing you can do for her is to be there beside her.

Answer 6

That happened to me when I was five and I am much older now and safe. You should not stay quiet. And her family should believe her if she told them. I think one day when you are probably at her house or something or you should try to talk to her mom without her knowing. Hopefully they will do something about that b/c she really needs help. You should even maybe talk to your mom. Tell your mom your friends situation and maybe she help your friend. Or let your friend stay over your house more to get away from her uncle. I don't think she should have to deal with this kind of suffering. So you need to take action

Answer 7

Its good you told being quiet about this would do no good for your friend or you. Iv been sexually abused twice by 2 different people. Its the hardest thing in the world to understandYour friend NEEDS to tell some one. And most importantly she needs your support. She may not think that people will belive her but trust me alot will and they will want to help. You have to talk to your friend and try convince her that a life without abuse is heaven compared to what she is goin through now and try get her to tell some one, any1. If she still does not want to say anything you need to. Even though it may be hard for you just keep thinking bout your friend and how much she needs you. Even though she may not want your help,she does need it.

Answer 8

tell her family.call the police and get her to a doctor. her uncle has a problem and it needs to be fixed. he should probably go to a mental institute. she also should probably get some counseling. this also happened to one of my best friends but it didnt go on for that long and it wasnt her uncle it was her younger half sisters dad. (they had the same mom not dad) he also said he would harm the family. but he didnt, the police got to him first. and then she told her older sister who told their mom and then they called to poice and now she is happy and lives life regularly. except she most likely wont except another guy in her life for a while

Answer 9

She needs to tell some one her parents would be best. The Uncle may do the same to some one else. She can prevent this from happening to another child. He needs to be stopped.

Answer 10

Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. If she wants to tell someone or not should is her decision not yours. If she feels the need to seek help then she'll go to a counselor or her parents. Just remember it's her decision not yours and if you tell someone and her family is ripped apart because of it she will blame YOU. Because you are the one she trusted.