when i started dating my husband eight years ago his family were terrible towards me for no reason at all they would show me big faces i went to hell and back with them i was always very friendly towards them all now they want to be nice to me but i just can't come to forgive them for what they did what would you do?
2006-07-17 19:01:57 · 12 answers · asked by cutie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ive also been married to my husband for 8 yrs, and his mother, grandmother, and sister all hated me for no reason.
Anyway, the only reason they are nice to me now finally is because I made my husband choose between his family and me and his son. They were really really really bad to me, and I was always crying, and was tired of it. He never stood up for me until I one day made him do it. I didnt allow his mother to see my son who was 2 at the time, and I didnt allow my husband to go see her either. This went on for two years. Thats how she broke. She finally apologized for how she treated me, but his sister never did. She's tough. Its his older sis.
I'd say you make them pay for how they treated you. I know it may sound childish, but if they want to play, you can play too.
2006-07-17 19:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For and only for, your husband, forgive them. Regardless of who is wrong or right, forgive them for him. If you have the chance to be the better person and keep peace regardless of the past, then do it. My boyfriends mom didnt like me for the longest time for no reason at all...She called me every name in the book, tried to turn the rest of the family against me, everything. But you know what? I got her a Mothers Day card when Mothers Day rolled around....and she changed and admitted that she was an asshole for not liking me for no reason and that I was a nice person, she is now very nice to me and I hold no grudges towards her out of respect for my boyfriend. We never bring up the way she use to act and were actually kind of cool now. Just let it go for him. Not getting along with your in-laws is normal...but if you can atleast keep it alittle peaceful and let a grudge go, then do it so every one is happier. They'll eventually see that they were wrong, even if they dont apologize for it, theyre gonna feel like assholes in the end. Hope I helped! :)
2006-07-17 19:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, let's see. You are married to a man whose parents treated you badly when you were dating him and now they are trying to be nice to you. You've decided that you won't forgive them because they really hurt you.
Now, let's consider this: They are your husband's PARENTS! You are planning of his forgetting that fact when? I'll tell you when he will--NEVER.
Now, are you expecting him to mediate in a fight between you and his parents, especially when his parents are trying to make amends and you are the one who won't have anything to do with them?
Listen! Unless you want to have a lifetime of this little dispute coming between you and your husband I would suggest that you make an honest effort to forgive them. You are not punishing them by refusing to forgive them because your husband will see that you are the one with problem. They will look like innocent little lambs in comparison.
On top of that, there is absolutely NO advantage to harboring unforgiveness in your heart. It creates an acid that eats away at your soul and has ABSOLUTELY no affect on the people you hate. They probably couldn't care less.
When you married your husband you married his entire family. You don't have to treat them like they're your best friends but don't treat them badly when family matters force you to be around them. And DON'T complain to your husband about the past bad behavior. No one but you cares about what they did to you last year or five, or ten, years ago.
If they are actually trying to have a good relationship with you then accept it and go on from there.
2006-07-17 19:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Same thing is happenning to me with mother in law and sister in law. We had a joint engagment party with his sister and they even went as far as to invite my husbands first ever girlfriend to it. After a lot of crap, they are attempting to be nice to me because my husband has threatened to lose contact with them. But I cannot forgive them, you may forget sometimes, but you can't forgive. I just try to not let it effect me, and ignore the way they treat me. It is a lot better if your husband is more supportive of you then them.
2006-07-17 19:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can just try and be civil with them but that's about it. I feel the same about my in laws. I usually don't attend their family functions anymore because I've bitten my tongue enough not to return the dislike. I know if I do otherwise and hear just another word I'll go off on them , verbally of course.
2006-07-17 19:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you. Why all of a sudden is it o.kay for them to change their mind about you and expect you to just go along with it. I would probably be the better person and kill them with kindness, but I wouldn't do anything but family events with them. You never know they could always turn on you again.
2006-07-17 19:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by andrea b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!!! nicely what i imagine you may want to do is overlook about this old guy or beat him at his own activity. if he needs to communicate shi t then you honestly do it again. he has made you seem to be a fool in the front of each man or woman! and also you're going ot sit down there and take it. interior the history the position changed into your hubby? why didnt he arise and say some thing? why didnt he guard you once you necessary him the most. imagine about that is may ensue again and hopfully he will be there for you in case you want him. i imagine you may want to deliver a duplicate of the marriage tape on your father in regulation yet delete his lil speech. see what he thinks of that. good success.
2016-10-14 22:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by charis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you think you have troubles?i married an only child and wow i made a mistake 29 years too late.do what i do dont go around them. i know this will be difficult but thats the only way to enhance harmony in your life.in laws can be ironic irate and completely different as life goes on but you can overcome this problem.dont let them mess with your head
2006-07-17 19:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess people start giving hard times to their new daughter in law or sons in law.....as time passes by they start realizing they were. wrong.....it might take time for u to forgive...its ok for u 2 b not able to forgive them....
hey at least ur fortunate ....u know ur in laws are now being nice...most ppl have awful in laws who never change
fogetting is the hardest part
2006-07-17 19:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by icehot_pk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well heres the thing, when your hubby got married everyone probably thought you werent going to make it, and now that you did make it they are like what the hell, lets reallt get to know her and be her firend.i say becareful and watch them carefully, they might be planning something against you,keep your eyes open.good luck.
2006-07-17 19:24:39 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋