2006-07-17 16:11:45 · 9 answers · asked by prettylass217 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I have left him!!
2006-07-17 16:17:04 · update #1
Lets see... I didn't trust myself, I didn't trust others, I blamed myself for everything, I let him continue to manipulate me, I let him use me still, I felt that no one else will love me ever. But most of all, after I left him I felt a freedom of knowing that no one is going to just flip out and crack me or smack me or push me or throw things at me. And most importantly I saw how it was that my little daughter was acting like him when she got angry. So that reinforced my intolerance. Even when he was trying to get me to come back (he still is trying to manipulate me back) he was abusive. So pushy and expectant and STILL blaming me and not accepting his fault. Only as much as his fault was caused by me. So anyway, it's so hard, I"ve not healed and I left him over a year ago. He is stalling on the divorce, and I've made a mess out of any relationship that tried to come my way, mostly because any little thing that reminded me of him instantly became the end for them.
I was knowing him since I was 16, and our relationship started out totally messed up I didn't leave him til I was almost 27. Thank God that even though my parents didn't quite watch out for me when I was young, they are loving and devoted and are helping me a lot now. At least I see it that way, but some things could be argued.
Anyway, slow and steady right?
Stay strong, you've made it this far, you are a strong woman. God for you!
2006-07-17 18:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mariah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to get therapy asap. I hope you have a place to stay where you feel safe now. No one else has mentioned this, but here are my two worries for the present, right now. The first is you are going to (for whatever reason and the reason doesn't matter) be faced with going back to him. Either he is going to promise you the moon and expect you to believe him or he's getting help and cannot live or make it without you. He's going to die (believe me, he won't die) DO NOT WEAKEN AND GO BACK. HE IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR HIM. WITHIN TWO WEEKS YOU WILL BE WHERE YOU WERE WHEN YOU LEFT HIM.....................
The other concern is when you eventually get back on your feet, what will happen? At some point in the future you certainly will start dating. You have to discover why you picked this loser and tolerated it for so many years. You don't want to choose the same type guy again. That is why you need therapy too.
Stay as far away as possible. You are very weak and easy at this time. Don't let him talk you into anything. You shouldn't even talk to him.....Listen to me, I have been there.
2006-07-18 00:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are a batterer there's a good chance you wont live 15 years. Get away now!
2006-07-17 23:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by snakewort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No self-esteem is going to be the least of your problems if you don't get the hell out of there.
For one, you're going to lack the ability to trust anyone for a long, long time, especially in scenarios where your safety is concerned. You're going to feel like a rat in a trap when anyone starts mentioning a relationship that could be anything serious (once you're out of your house).
Not to knock you, or anything, but I don't understand how a woman can stay in a household that is that unhappy. My son's father beat the crap out of me. ONCE. I put his a$$ in jail, and took my son. I haven't heard a peep from him since, and I really don't care. I never kept him from seeing his son... He just doesn't want to. The point is, you CAN leave, whether you have children or not.
I couldn't cultivate anything healthy for almost ten years after that, and it only happened to me once. You're going to need therapy, probably.
2006-07-17 23:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inability to trust others, fear, and insecurity. It's now time to start the healing process, and you're going to need all the support you can find. Don't isolate yourself. You need ot know that there are good people out there that will not hurt you, and that the fault lies with the abuser, not the abused.
2006-07-17 23:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No self esteem and probably depression. Get out.
2006-07-17 23:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by therego2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you survive,you'll probably have very low self esteem and if you have children it is teaching them that it's ok to be abused!
2006-07-17 23:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blood shot eyes
2006-07-17 23:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not already, you will end up dead or wish you were. GET OUT IF YOU STILL CAN!!!!
2006-07-17 23:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by BONNIE B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋