i have to go to court tomorrow with ex-husband?

Question

i get so depressed (we've been fighting for over 5 years) i want peace but he will never quit trying to control me and uses the kids as a weapon to hurt me. we're just going in for a simple explanation of an order... but i KNOW i will get all upset and cry as soon as i walk into the court house. i am serious i have no way of controling the overwhelming grief that overcomes me when i walk in the door. if i could control it i would. my husband and his attorney for YEARS have said i have a "clinically undiagnosed mental disorder". i hate to appear to look weak and insane with my tears... ANY SUGGESTIONS???

Answer 1

For the sake of your kids, you have got to get a grip on yourself. Anxiety medication or a "relaxer" might make you seem inchoherent. Take a friend with you, say a prayer beforehand asking God for strength. You have conditioned your brain to do this when you enter court, so it is now a learned behavior. To overcome it, do a rehearsal in your mind by envisioning yourself going to court and entering the courtroom, being seated and answering any questions that are asked of you. Do this over and over in your mind to help "re-train" your brain and prepare yourself. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm about to enter that period soon. I'm starting divorce paperwork soon. I used to cry when we had fights for years. But now that I am sure I don't want him in my life any more I feel more at ease. I don't know if you're fighting over custody of the kids or there are material possessions you are trying to distribute. Either way, you should really make an effort to hold your chin up and tell yourself that he will not make you cry. And remember: the "mental disorder" thing is an age old excuse they resort to when they want to make you feel really bad. My mom never divorced my dad because he would always tell her that he would get her locked up for being crazy. And if my mom was a bit depressed, it was because my dad left a lot to be desired as a husband / father. You have been brave enough to stand up and put an end to it, so go ahead and show them that they are wrong. They are taking advantage of the situation. after all it's quite normal for a person to cry when she / he is afraid / helpless, and your husb + attorney are putting pressure on you to gain from your emotional state. If you believe in something, a prayer always helps strengthen yourself. Good luck.

Answer 3

What will help you keep your cool? Definitely take someone with you. Have them sit as close to you as possible. Is there anything that you could take that would not make you goofy? You need to find a way to remain calm and not let anyone see you break down. If nothing else, hold something rough in you hands and squeeze it so hard that the pain gets your attention.

Answer 4

You should be allowed to grieve over what you've lost. No one has the right to criticize you for dealing with a loss in the only way you know how. You are a very hurt woman with very real feelings. Just go and let what happens happen. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Explain this to your doctor, ask him if klonopin would be appropriate to control your anxiety and stress while in the court room. I'm sure he will and you'll be just fine.

Answer 6

my best suggestion is try to be strong and bring someone with you to help you be strong I know what you are going through i am going through the same thing. I have someone now to go with me and help me from crying and blowing up at my ex

Answer 7

just hold your head up high and show them it doesnt bother u and when u get home then let it out be strong for ur kids they need u more than anything else

Answer 8

take someone your close to with you, try to stay calm, take a muscle relaxer if needed!!