How can I become more extroverted and talkative?

Question

Hey guys... thanks for looking at my question. Please answer with anything you think might help. So, here's the deal... I am 19 years old and am a sophomore in college. I am always told how beautiful I am and that I have so much going for me... I'm active in sports, and my school, and have many goals. But here's the problem. I want to be more extroverted. I do just fine with like one other person, so it's not that I lack communication skills. But once another joins, it's like I go quiet. But if it's my really close friends, I can be all crazy and talkative and MYSELF. Around people I don't know, I don't do so well. I want to know how to be more sure of myself to be able to just walk up to people and start a conversation! I want to join a sorority and I know that I have to get out of my comfort zone. Please help!

Answer 1

I know you probably don't have a whole lot of extra time, but volunteer at a hospital, or school where there are a whole lot of people. You will be in the situation of having to force yourself to interact with others, and the more you do it the easier it becomes. Trust me on this one, I had to do it myself. Only I got a job in a hotel and had to deal with a whole lot of strangers all the time. It worked wonders for me!

Answer 2

For me I have to be in a project with others to have something to talk about with them. It is easy to mingle that way. You can work on the project and flirt with the gals and or you can have a beer with the guys.

BUT,

I don't think you really want to be extroverted. I thought I wanted to be more out going and never meet a strangers. Scary thought huh? I found that the more open I was people would remember what I told them about me and would use it to their advanage. I learned to shutup when around people I don't know. I learned the more friends you have the more you will get ripped off. If you are trying to build a life and make it somewhere in life it is best to only meet people that are willing to allow you to do that. Party with close freinds and not just everyone.

Or do you want to be a pushy car sales person when you growup? If so start talking crap and remembering what everyone says to you so you can use it on someone else later.

What I am trying to say is if you want to be extroverted you will need to find a group of people that have the same goals that you do. Bill and Nancy wants to party all the time and could care less if you make the grade long as you party. Joe and Sally parties a little but normally talks about a project they are trying to get started. Which group do you want to be part of. Party a little with Bill and Nancy but hang with Joe and Sally. It is not always good to be out going. You will be remembered when you try to get a job when you get out of school for either a party head or a person with their head on strait ....

Up to you

Answer 3

You just need to be comfortable being yourself, and be used to knowing that people will be comfortable around who you really are just like your friends are comfortable around you.

Try this, go do something with a group of friends you're the most comfortable with, and then have them invite one or two other persons you don't know. Try being the same dork you are with your friends with that person around. And then include that person on the inside jokes or whatnot.
Once you get used to that, try with fewer friends you do know and more that you don't know.

Joining a social club in College will also help. Many are just for less outgoing people who want to meet others.

Answer 4

You are normal at this stage. Around friends you feel safe. Around strangers you feel self-conscious. As we get older, we lose the self-consciousness because we value being ourselves. Being real and genuine is far better than worrying if I am impressing someone. Here is a meaningful thought from Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." Yes, reaching that point where we are content to be ourselves, that takes a wee bit of time. Not comparing or competing comes when we no longer get our self value from being better than someone else. We are truly content to be ourselves. You'll get there. Right now you are young and quite normal.

Answer 5

I used to be that way and sometimes I still slip into that mode.

My best advice is to develop a "what the hell..." attitude? When you feel yourself becoming quiet, ask yourself if it really matters how strangers see you. If your friends love ya then who cares?

As to the extroverted, introverted thing...you're always going to be introverted if that's what you are but that doesn't mean you can't learn to interact with people and have fun.

Answer 6

Go to one of the fraternaties and offer them a free gangbang. There's no better way to build up your confidence.