It is an ongoing problem in our marriage and I am not sure how
to handle this. It's tough never to feel safe with your own husband
2006-07-17 15:18:57 · 34 answers · asked by tinker 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, you need to describe more in detail what he is doing.
If you feel insecure because he is acting like he doesn't care about you and scoping out other chics, I can see why. maybe you need to tell him how stupid and immature he looks when he is doing that and you want a man you can be proud to be seen in public with.
2006-07-17 15:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 7⤋
It sounds like you have matured and your husband has not. This happens more often than you'd think. Your husband is still acting like he acted when you were dating him. It was "cute" back then. It's not so cute now.
Have a talk with him about it when the mood and situation is right. In other words, don't attack him when you get home from a club and you both have been drinking, etc. Pick an evening after dinner when you're both relaxed and in a good mood. Assure him that you trust him, but that you don't like the way his actions make you feel. If he's at least a little bit mature, he will curb his behavior. If he doesn't, then you'll have to approach the subject again and possibly refuse to go out with him because of the way his behavior makes you feel. "I'm really not in the mood to feel embarassed or belittled, so I think I'll stay home."
2006-07-17 15:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by HoneySuite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A player as in he flirst with other women on a constant bassis and claims he's just being hospitable or nice? It makes him feel good about himself, knowing that other women still have interest in him. You should tell him he's sexy, or something encouraging every once in a while. Or maybe satisfy him more often than you are currently. If it's nothing you're doing wrong, then maybe you married the wrong guy, because that happens to be his atitude.
2006-07-17 15:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by FIONEX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he still thinks he is 20 yrs old. Maybe he did not have enough fun before he got married. Maybe he does not realize what kind a great woman he has and he is looking for some action somewhere else. The best way to make him realize he can lose you is to make him jealous and letting know you are tired of him trying to be a player.
2006-07-17 15:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by kinito_2000_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well two things.
1st off is the BIG PROBLEM: Its called DISRESPECT to YOU and that's the BIG ISSUE. It allows others to laugh at you because they see him as a "player" or "cheater" right in front of you and you allowing it.
2nd thing is that he's insecure and needs the attention of other women to feel attractive. You could tell him all day, it wouldn't matter. He has you. He just needs to "grow up" and realize that with you and a family what more does he need? Why does he still need to be "attractive?" Not that its not nice, but "whats the purpose for if not YOU?"
2006-07-17 15:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for over 6 years and I have never had that problem. I think you need to talk to him..he should have more respect for you then that. If my husband ever acted that way..I would smack the heck out of him and dump him on the couch.But...I don't see that happening.We have a good marriage.
Please have a heart to heart with him and tell him how much his behavior hurts you.
Good luck :)
2006-07-17 15:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all an act. He doesn't know how to be a grown up and this is the only way he knows how to act. I am not sure he is going to change after all these years. So you need to change how you react to him Keep a close eye on him when he gets this way.
I would suggest the two of you change your hang outs to more grown up activities. Meaning.....picnics in the park with the kids....no booze no need for him to act lkie a swinger
2006-07-17 15:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One question... were you honest with him about your past?
If you didn't have a checkered past, you don't deserve this BS - I would leave...
However, if you did have an extra busy life before you meet and married your husband, that's just karma come back at you - I would still leave...
Ultimately you are the one who decides how people should treat you. If you continue to except this disrespectful attitude then it is your fault.
Good Luck.
2006-07-17 15:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by John Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on yourself, get some help. Once you are confident in who you are you will know whether this is a problem for you. If it is, then ask your husband to stop making you feel less than what he needs, if he can't or won't change his behavior leave him and find someone that will support and admire you.
2006-07-17 15:22:43 · answer #9 · answered by gina_road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he "still" acts like this, then you obviously married him 10 years ago, as he was, "A Player".
That's like buying a an Oldsmobile and expecting it to be a Cadillac 10 years later.
Kind of late to change him.
2006-07-17 15:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your husbend down in a quiet place. Such as a couch. Ask him why he is acting like he wants another woman. If he denys he does, calmy ask him again. Ask him to stop acting like a player and that you love him too much and you do not feel very safe.
2006-07-17 15:22:43 · answer #11 · answered by FerretLover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋