he stay with his girl friend mom, and cant keep a job since he left home, his girlfriend live there to, and I buy the baby clothes alot and diapers or whatever he need because of the baby, and my son alway bums every day from me, come and eat all the time wants money..he is lazy I think and his girl friend is lazy to..Ask me all the time to watch the baby and if I dont he got a smart *** mouth on him..Like nobody else has got a life but him in this world...He alway smart off to my daughter who is 10 years old..Like hes her age , when i buy her somethin g he think I should buy him somthing..He alway talk dirty talk and I ask him not to in my house...I have even had to ask him leave..He told me to tell my husband this weekend to take the 4-wheeler and stick it up his ***..We let him ride it and he was acting smart with it and run it in a tree and bend the front, so my husband wont let him on it any more , he smart off cause my daughter ride it, but she repect it and take care of it..
2006-07-17 14:47:57 · 15 answers · asked by sandlin1979 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your best bet would be to cut him off. It's time you make him grow up and be a man. If he don't have anyone giving him hand outs, he would have to go out and get it on his own. The girl's parents need to do the same. Trust me, I got married at 16 when my parents kicked me out and me and my husband maanaged on our own just fine. They will too.
2006-07-17 14:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking Mother to Mother we love our kids and want the best for them and our innocent grandchildren. I hope you are not frightened of him, if so you might consider having a Peace Bond put on him. You must demand respect from him. I am sure you didn't want him to get the girlfriend pregnant, but that is the path he has chosen.
It is also (just)my opinion, that, he has no right to come into your home and demand anything. If you have to, change the locks on the doors. He probably had all the things that your 10 year old had when he was 10 and he has no right to come into your home and give her a hard time either.
Have You read "Tough Love"? I have not been in "exactly" your shoes, but similar. Get Tough Lady or I promise you,he will not stop demanding and harassing you and your daughter.
Good Luck! Take care of you!
2006-07-17 22:18:41 · answer #2 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off try some relizing that he is grown if he wants 2 act that way then let him but not around u or ur family.forbid him from coming around until he learns how 2 act.do not give them money,let them eat at your house ect. if the baby needs something then buy if do not give them the cash.
I have a son like that and he is not allowed in my home.I do talk 2 him on the phone but if he because stupid I end the convo. I give him nothing. he has 3 kids in under 2 years from 2 woman. I take care of one of the children full time the other 2 I see when I have the time not when they want me 2 have them.
good luck adult children r sometimes the hardest 2 deal with.
2006-07-17 21:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be disciplined. The older a child gets without discipline, the harder the discipline gets when it finally catches up with him. He is violent, hateful, unthankful, selfish, lazy and good for nothing at this point. He is one worthless piece of dog sh*t right now. He has no business raising a child. Someone needs to intervene big time in his life. He needs the sh*t knocked out of him until he learns respect. I would've loved to see that dog meat in boot camp in the Nam days. They'd make a man out of him or kill him. Now you have to find something comparable. That's called tough love. You'll do it if you want to save your son. But first your priority is to your immediate family. Don't forget that.
2006-07-17 22:09:44 · answer #4 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you ask him not to talk like that in your house mistake #1 tell him he can respect your house are not come back# 2 that is not your concern his baby pampers and milk etc he didnt ask you to help getting the baby @3 hes a grown *** man why should you give him money he sleeps with a woman nightly what kind of a tramp lays up with a man who has to get money from his mama and then bring a baby in the world by him knowing her baby has needs@4 SHE NEEDS TO BE ASHAME OF HER SELF GOT HIm IN HER MAMA HOUSE YOUR SON IS A POOR EXCUSE FOR A MAN AND HER SHE PUTS S in slute if they cant provide for the child put it up for adoption there are folks who would love to give this child a loving home
2006-07-17 22:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You are such good parents. Nonetheless, I agree with the other respondent, tough love is needed here. He isn't a baby anymore, he is raising one. I used to run a program for young fathers and I would recommend that you find if there is one where you live. We used to help young dads find and keep jobs as well as taught and supported them to be responsible dads through a support group of other young fathers.
This website may help you find help for your family: http://www.fatherhood.org/
You can also look at this website for help: http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/
You can also try a local Planned Parenthood for programs that may help. Find your local center at: www.plannedparenthood.org
Good luck and blessings during this difficult time.
2006-07-17 21:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by RiverGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he is an adult now. He made the adult decision to get his girlfriend pregnant. DONT let him back in your house until he can respect YOUR rules. At this point it is non of his business what you buy your young daughter. Be strong and tell him he is on his own. Dont buy him anything for a while until he realizes its time to grow up and face up to his responsibilities.
2006-07-17 22:03:11 · answer #7 · answered by SilverWolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him into a program like job corps or AmeriCorps. Some of those will even help pay for his child. They will give him skills and discipline without the fear of being sent to war in the military.
Maybe even give him incentives to getting a job, like telling him that he can borrow things if he goes to a job interview, or help him with the baby if he works...etc...
2006-07-17 21:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Alyssa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guurrl ( i would bet 50 dollars you were black) but n e wayz that son of your seems like he never grew up, i would just sit down and tell him
" look you went out and screwed whatever her name is and brought a child into this world, i have a house, i have a job, i pay my own house note and my sh** is tight, that aint my baby its yours and if you was grown enough to do the baby makin u need to be grown enough to do the baby takin, you and yo girlfriend and pooky n' em find a way, because i have a life and it doesn't revolve around you or your child, i already raised you and now you expect me to raise your child too , oh no, i aint havin it, i dont mind watchin him/her every now and then, but like i said i got my own young child to think about. Thats yo baby...And about all this additude and you reffering to your step father ( im guessing it aint his daddy) as "my husband" as long as you are in my house you will respect me, my child, my husband and yourself, which means dont come in here with yo pants down to your ankles.. usin all of that slang talk, as long as you are in my pressense you will act with respect !!!!! "
see what he does after u give him that
-Tayy
2006-07-17 21:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by ** WINGS ** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough love is the only way. tell him and his lazy girlfriend to get a job or dont bother going to you for help. and as for them asking you to watch the baby, babysit it for a week and if neither one of them get a job call social services for neglect or something. they should not have a child when they know that they cannot take care of it alone
2006-07-17 21:53:28 · answer #10 · answered by ╣♥╠ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋