How can a woman deal with a situation in which the man she has considered a close friend reveals a deep love that goes beyond the one of mere fiends?
2006-07-17 14:20:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Is there any chance you could feel the same for him? Is there any "chemistry" for you there?
I mean, if he's a close friend, you clearly like him -- by which I mean you have things in common, you enjoy each other's company, you are thoughtful to and appreciative of each other. And he has clearly now realized that in addition to all that, you light up something else very special inside him.
Any chance at all that he could light that up in you?
If so... then let me tell you, having a romantic relationship with someone who has already been a good and trusted friend for some time can be a WONDERFUL thing. If there is ANY kind of sexual chemistry there at ALL, go for it!
I married my best friend over 27 years ago. We had known each other for several years, through various boyfriends and girlfriends. I kept trying not to think about how gorgeous she was because for most of that time, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend; we were part of a crowd that hung out together in college, and we were usually both dating somebody else. Till it finally dawned on me that I had a LOT more fun with this woman than with whoever I was dating at the time. And she WAS gorgeous. (I think she still is, but there you go. :-) So when we finally kissed for the first time... wow.
One other thing: All the romance stories talk about how important love is in a relationship. And as important as it is to love each other... I've determined that how much you LIKE each other may well be the MOST important factor in getting along day in, day out, year in, year out. Because let's face it, have you ever been in love with someone you couldn't stand, from time to time? (I know I have...) So what I've learned is that if you LIKE each other, you're a lot more likely to forgive the little stuff that fundamentally doesn't matter -- oh, like the fact that my wife is constitutionally incapable of closing a cupboard door, or that when I trim my mustache it leaves hairs in the sink no matter HOW much effort I expend to get them out. If you LIKE each other... you cut each other some slack.
So if there's ANY kind of spark at all (as I say, I suppressed the HUGE spark that she lit in me because we were both dating other people for so long, but it was there all the time) between the two of you, give it a try. With luck you'll get the last king in the royal flush, the last button on the bingo card, the last piece of the puzzle... and you'll find out that you are so amazingly, utterly, thigh-clenchingly sexually compatible that you'll kick yourself for waiting this long.
Hey, it could happen. It was that way for us... still is, almost 30 years later.
2006-07-17 14:54:24 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 16⤊ 0⤋
The only way is to let it become a romantic relationship, and to let that relationship progress to marriage. This progress is good. Friendship is only the begining and shuld never be the limit. To do the opposite would result in the destruction, of which you are concerned and that distruction some times results in loss of friendship.
2006-07-17 15:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to take it as a compliment, not as a bad thing. It's quite natural and does not need to destroy the friendship. If you feel the same way, give it a try, and if you don't, tell him. It will hurt him, of course, but if you're close friends he will probably continue the friendship.
If you aren't interested and haven't already told him, be gentle but direct. There is, as far as I know, no way to "soften the blow", and he might appreciate the honesty.
2006-07-17 14:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're close friends tell him you're flattered that he feels this way but you value his friendship too much to risk a relationship that might destory it. This sounds silly but I was told this by a friend and I'm so glad we stayed good friends instead of dating each other.
2006-07-17 14:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Be honest and gentle and respectful, and hope for the best. Good luck.
2006-07-17 14:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by yikes_ontario 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋