He tells me I am a looser and a lowlife, because I lost my job. He will tell me I am a whore because the bed is unmade. He will choke me to get me to shut up ans he left a grapefruit size lump on my head once because I started to pull the carpet up before he woke one morning. He has even hit me in front of his parents. Once we had to cut off the engagement ring because I put my hands up to sheild my head from his blows and it smashed the ring. BUT he tells me he loves me. We live together with our daughter- my parents live in another state. What do I do? He threatens that I will not be able to leave with our daughter. I don't know what to do.
2006-07-17 13:47:36 · 13 answers · asked by The blonde who needs help 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You absolutely must get out! For your sake and your child's! Get a friend to assist you, call a family member and explain the situation to them! Whatever you do, get out! Any way you can! There are organizations that will help you! Call someone! Send a letter, anything...get attention and get help! GET OUT!
Also important to remember is that email is not a safe or confidential way to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life. For this reason, you will not find email links on this site, please call us instead at 800-537-2238. Traditional “corded” phones are more private than cell phones or cordless phones.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)National Domestic Violence Hotline
This website has some very helpful information:
http://www.naplesshelter.org/english/abuse.htm
2006-07-17 13:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by amomentssunlight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell a family member, like a parent whom you trust, about what is going on. Have that family member arrange a safe location for you, get you a plane ticket, whatever it takes for you to get away from that man and reestablish life safely away from him.
I endured the same for 10 years, believing every time he said he was sorry and would never do it again, that he meant it. I was stupid enough to think that he would change. He will not.
Let someone help you TODAY and don't tell him what you are doing or threaten him that you'll leave. He might really hurt you or the child if you do.
And, resolve that you will survive without him. You really will and be better for it.
2006-07-17 13:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by pknutson_sws 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being abused and need to leave. Talk to your parents and tell them whats going on and make arrangements to go stay with them. Take a few things for you and your daughter and leave while he is at work - take a flight or rent a car (if your car isn't in your name, beause he can report it stolen if it's in his name). In the meantime if he hits you or abuses you, you need to call the police and have it documented - this will give you a better chance of getting full custody with your daughter. You can also get a restraining order on him.
Your best bet is to get out of there because it isn't safe, he could snap on you or your daughter at any moment. It certainly isn't a good environment for you or your child. Stay with your parents and as soon as you get there get a good divorce lawyer. Best of luck and be safe.
2006-07-17 13:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can eitehr stay with him and get a job, or you can pack up, snatch your child and leave, when yoru hubby is away from the house. It's a really a matter of choosing, in your case. Which one do you really want to do? You deserve better treatment, but the decsion is yours. If you leave him now, you could perhpas sue for divorce and custody, next year.
2006-07-17 14:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling he doesn't love u gal... he just needs someone to warm his bed and to cook his food but you can do something about it and you need to be strong. Get advice from a friend or better yet call your state immigration department they would show u how to take your daughter across if you are willing to leave him. Get out now before he kills u!!!!
2006-07-17 13:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by ginger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A grapefruit sized lump on your head??? Is this for real?? If so, call the police and get him arrested. Or, use the Yahoo! search engine for Lorena Bobbitt!
2006-07-17 14:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by jeffinsdiego 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a whole lot of help. I don't know what to say. Nobody should have to live like this and it is such a bad environment for your child. So his parents won't do anything?
2006-07-17 13:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you need to leave before your daughter has a dead mommie and a daddy in jail. What matters most to you, yoour life and the life of your child or being with a man who does not love you. Please believe love does not hit you or put you down, trust me. Please get help, if not for your yourself than for your daughter.
2006-07-17 13:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by firecracker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and walk out..
There are women's shelters that will and can help you get back to your parents or get you away from him to start your own life..
Be smart, its child abuse to keep a child in that bad of a violent, messed up situation...
2006-07-17 13:53:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok,,, time to wake up,,,
he doesnt love you,,, he doesnt love your daughter either, pack your things,,, right NOW,, and run as fast as you can,,,,,
ps, if you need help to get out there are plenty of groups that support women in your situation, if he puts up a fight, dont hesitate to call the police...
2006-07-17 13:56:28 · answer #10 · answered by MANGA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋