Please help me, I need family help!?

Question

Ok, over the past few year my younger brother and sister have been testing the legal system and disobeying my mother. My sister, who is a recent highschool graduate basically just barely got by to graduate. My Brother was expelled from 8th grade and graduated due to the fact that the teachers didn't want him there any more. My Mother told me that the reason they are like this is because of my success. She says that I set a too high of a standard for my younger sibblings. She says that because of this they don't think they can match my success so they revolt. I am a soon-to-be college graduate, and I am the only one in the family who is bi-lingual. They refer to me as "Perfect", "Golden Child" to their friends and my Mother. What should I do? Does anyone have any Idea why this is happening? Should I lower my standards so they will stop treating my mother like trash, and ruining their lives with drugs and not going to school? -or- Should I keep going with my successful carreer path? help

Answer 1

Your success might be why they don't aspire to reach the same goals as you, but that's not why they're acting out like that. It wasn't fair for your mother to blame you. Keep going- don't sell yourself short.

Answer 2

My mother is the oldest of 10 children, and she turned out to be the most sucessful of the children. Usually, the oldest children are the most disciplined and sucessful. Parents are normally more relaxed with their younger children, and tend to discipline them less. The oldest children usually get the most discipline--which leads to sucess. I will bet that you were raised more strict than your younger siblings.

Well, Do Not--Under Any Circimstances--Lower Your Standards. Our lives are about becoming the Best we can be--not the worst. You have been blessed with intelligence-- and you better use it to succeed in this world..

What you can do--is encourage your sister and brother in a positive way. You can give them positive praise every time they do something good. Since they look up to you, it might really make them feel better.
To be fair, it may hurt them if people are always raving about how "wonderful" their older sister is. (put yourself in their shoes). I mean, how would You feel if people kept raving that your sister was "sooo pretty", or that your brother was "sooo gorgoues and smart". After a while, it would stink. So, lighten up a bit on their feelings.

As for their Drug Use: that is Unacceptable--period. After growing up watching my uncles and cousins addicted to drugs--I saw that drugs are the un-coolest, ugliest, corniest, stupid a%$ thing a person can do. They need to go to re-hab--but only your mom can suggest that...Also, Be careful about giving them "rides" in your car. If the police pull you over and they find yours--all your a$$es are going to jail.

Last, They may have different goals than you. Maybe your sister will be a beautician, and maybe your brother will be a mechanic----and thats perfectly respectable. Try Using Positive Praise with them---it will help.....And if in the end--they keep complaining and hating you no matter how much you praise or help them--them the law of survival says that: you Must Save Yourself and Move On. When someone tries to save a drowning person-- they have to eventually let Go, or they Both will drown.

Peace.

Answer 3

Sounds like your mother is putting the blame on you for not being a role model for her own kids. Don't look back...you're successful...stay that way. If your brother and sister want to rebel...so be it. Your mother "should" have told them to look up to you as a role model. Not put you down for acheiving so much.

Answer 4

I am SO sorry that your family is putting you through this. It is most definitely NOT your fault at all. You did not make choices for them, only they can do that. Your mother should be ashamed of herself for putting all this on your shoulders, when it seems that if she had been a stronger parent, your siblings wouldn't be in the situation they are in. Don't let them blame you anymore. And don't fall into their selfish destructive behavior. They are playing you. You need to sit them all down and tell them that you are not and have never been responsible for their bad decisions. Be sure you let them know that you love them because they are your family but that you will not let them intimidate you any longer. You need to separate yourself from them. Only keep in touch on occasion (be sure to inform them of this). Explain to them that you cannot accept how they are choosing to live and move on with your life. Tell your mom to be strong and get them straightened out, she is their parent NOT YOU, don't let her play you either.
You stay on the path you are on, you watch out for "you" first. You cannot be held accountable for other peoples lives.. GOOD LUCK!! God Bless.......Don't let them bring you down.

Answer 5

Wow I feel bad for your situation. First do not lower your standards....its your life and you only get one so don't blow it. You accomplishments should only make your bro and sis strive to be better people. I am surprised at your mom's reasoning as to your siblings behavior she blames you for her failure..is your mom going through something hard in her life to make her misdirect anger towards you? Both your bro and sis are graduated from high school now so they are not your responsibility any more. They will come around...be there for them but they need to make their own mistakes and learn from them as they will. You need to be commended on your accomplishments...Good Job!!

Answer 6

What should you do? Stop letting those juvenile delinquents make you feel bad because you decided to make something of yourself. It is NOT your fault that they have taken the wrong path in life. You could just as easily been their inspiration instead of their excuse to fail.

Answer 7

first of all how dare your mother put this on you, its your fault there bad? ya right, maybe she should not shift the blame and look at what shes doing wrong. this is by no means your fault, and never lower your standards for anyone.

Answer 8

Hell no don't change - it's your mother who's the problem enabling them to act out in this manner. life will tone them down or jail will.

Answer 9

Keep up with your hard work. Sounds like they are just using you as a excuse.

Answer 10

u must care about ur self first cuz dont care about others thats the way to a succesful life