I'm 26 yrs. old and moved out of my dad's a year and a half ago. He has a pool and I used to swim in it every night when I got off of work. (I work 2nd shift) I decided to go swimming the other night with 2 of my girlfriends when i got off. I didn't ask him because he was sleeping. I have 2 stepsisters that live there that came out and swam with us. The only reason my dad even knows we were swimming is because we forgot to take the ladder off of the pool. (We weren't being loud or obnoxious, just swimming) Today he told me he doesn't appreciate me disrespecting him by coming like a thief in the night and said he feels like he needs to put a pad lock on the gate. I was so upset I just left. Am I wrong? I thought I was still welcome there, but obviously only his "new" family is....
2006-07-17
13:29:09
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9 answers
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asked by
CherBear
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
i still have a key, that he is fully aware of. i spend a lot of time with him and don't just use him for the pool. that's why i'm so hurt and sounding a bit childish, I know.
2006-07-17
13:45:34 ·
update #1
Well CherBear, I hate to tell you this but you were wrong. You said yourself that you moved out over a year ago. It is not the fact that your are not welcome there or he loves your step sisters more than he loves you, the point is you need to respect his house. I went through a similar experience after I moved on my own. Not only did you not tell him you were coming over, you invited two of your friends over as well and that is very disrespectful. What if the shoe were on the other foot. How would you feel that if one day while you were out, your dad and two of his friends came over your house, helped themselves to whatever food you had in your refrigerator, left their dirty dishes on your table and left. The only reason you knew they were there is because dirty dishes were left on your table. How would you feel? Your two step sisters live there. You don't. The mere fact that they joined you and your friends does not excuse you at all. You are no longer a child but an adult. What you did was disrespectful and irresponsible. You owe your father an apology and don't let these other whiney, spoiled brats tell you otherwise. Peace.
2006-07-17 14:01:07
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answer #1
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answered by cave man 6
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I moved out of my mother's house at your age. Of course there were ill feelings because I did move out. (She said that I would never make on my own) Anyway, the first time I went back to the house, the hardest thing I had to do is except the fact that the door was locked and I didn't have a key. THIS WAS NOT MY HOME ANY MORE. I had to ask permission to go into the fridge. Well, you got the drift. Remember, you left on your own accord. Your father is demanding respect and consideration in HIS home. It sounds as if all he wanted from you is to ask if he minded if you came by to swim. No big deal. I'm sure that you're still welcomed at your dad's home. It just may take a little time.
2006-07-17 21:19:08
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answer #2
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answered by popcopgoldieoldie 2
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At 26 you are grown. You do not have access to your fathers house as though you still lived there. I would react the same way he did. A responsible adult does not sneek into someone elses property and use it as their own. Perhaps you could discuss this with your father and opologize . Maybe you both could come to an agreement. This agreement does not include your friends..
2006-07-17 20:42:23
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answer #3
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answered by guardmaam 3
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I'd B upset 2!
How rude & unreasonable.
Funny man, what's his problem? If his daughter never visited him he's soon complain, wouldn't he?
Time 2 take him aside 4 a lil chat.
Get it all out in the open, don't allow it 2 fester & B blown out of proportion.
Ask him what U did wrong if anything & C what he has 2 say.
Good Luck.
:)
2006-07-17 20:37:22
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Bring your feelings up to your dad. Sit down and have an open conversation with him. Maybe you guys were making noise and it did wake him up. He could also be hurt that you only go there to use the pool, not to see him.
2006-07-17 20:34:46
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answer #5
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answered by Gracie 3
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His decision has nothing to do with his "new family" it has to do with the fact that boundaries are not clearly set in place.If he felt respected then ask why (maybe because you no longer live there) and set some rules (it is his house). Because you two are adults I hope you can work things out. Good luck! :)
2006-07-17 20:41:54
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answer #6
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answered by firecracker 2
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Hey just talk to your dad. Maybe he was having an off day. We all do. Maybe it was not him who was angry? Maybe he just heard about it and passed the message off to you. The best thing to do is talk. You only have one dad. I bet he feels bad about the whole thing to
2006-07-17 20:48:08
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answer #7
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answered by what do you think? 2
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Before you react, talk to your Dad and ask him why he reacted the way he did. Take it from there
2006-07-17 20:35:11
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answer #8
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answered by Crazymomo 3
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Out of courtsey, just call him and ask if you can use the pool. Humor him...
2006-07-17 20:34:54
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answer #9
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answered by qtpie 2
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