My parents are very unaccepting of my sexuality. They have known about my lesbianism for about five years. They have met my girfriend numerous times, and continue to be ignorant towards her. They also act so different towards me. What can I do to help them? I come from a VERY small town, where there are "no such thing" as gay people. Can anyone help me?
Has anyone else gone through this?
2006-07-17 13:25:18 · 18 answers · asked by loudy_foudy 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am a butch lesbian! The avatar is pretty much how I look!
2006-07-17 13:37:54 · update #1
I am a butch lesbian! The avatar is pretty much how I look!
2006-07-17 13:38:07 · update #2
Unfortunately, ther isn't much you can do. Theya re stuck in their small-town ways. All you can do is perhaps ask them why they harbor so much hate to their own blood, and ask if they will ever be able to open their minds to something outside of their locale.
Many people will never be able to step outside of their little bubble. They fear things outside of their realm of thought. I would sugest moving away... give them time to thinik.
2006-07-17 13:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Onyx Dracona 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Finding help in a small town sounds difficult. First thing your parents must do is to WANT to understand and learn about different sexualities. This is hard with ignorant people. Try to explain to them you are still their daughter and that they should love you no matter what. If they can't accept you, then you can't really do much about it. Just hope that someday they will and go on. I know it's tough, but look to your friends and girlfriend for strength. Keep your chin up!
2006-07-18 06:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by dnnzak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a touchy one. now i personally went through the same thing, i deal with things a lot differently then most people do. Now my situation went like this, I told my mother i was gay when i was a freshman in high school, she was awkward about it and still is a bit to this day, i remember the only thing she said to me was "don't start acting like it, because people get killed for **** like that" meaning my flame doesn't burn bright and i should keep it that way. My mom and dad have been divorced as long as i can remember so i didn't end up telling him until a year later, i told him one night in the worst possible way, he is ignorance in its raw form, and that day he was a bit drunk and was talking about black people in a reallyu negative way, and i didn't appreciate it, so i said "so dad i was waiting for a good time to tell you this, but now is as good a time as any other, I am gay, and my boyfriends black, and he ***** me everyday". Now this resulted in a broken jaw, cheek bone, arm, and two ribs. and i still continued to talk to him after that point. I really stopped talking to my dad after a trip i had taken a few years ago, i was gone for three weeks and he had forgotten i was gone, so he called and left a message on my voice mail calling me aworthless cock sucker, a ******, a queer who is worthless and just nother ramvblings of a poor drunken soul. I returned his call crying telling him that was it, and it was, and somtimes it sucks, but why should you put effort into something that just keeps letting you down. You can continue to try and please them, or try to make them accept, if you really want them to accept you lay it out bare for them to see. say mom, dad this is me, and i am sick of you being odd about it, i am your daughter and this is the woman i love, and you need to accept that or i am just done even trying to see you, because it hurts me, it hurts her, and there is no reason for any of it. Just think about the life span of your average human being, and think how much time you have used up thinking about this, or talking about this, or trying to make this work, tell your parents exactly how it is, and if they don't accept you then they are the ones who are in the wrong, because you are their daughter and they made you the way you are, and you deserve acceptance and love, and if they can't give it to you, there are plenty of other people who can.
2006-07-17 13:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Advice Whore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH THIS BUT I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE...UNTIL YOUR PARENTS CAN EXCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE GAY...THEY WILL ALWAYS TREAT YOUR PARTNER DIFFERENTLY....BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY CHOSE TO BE IGNORANT TOWARDS HER...THEY SHOULD JUST TREAT HER AS A PERSON...THEY DON'T HAVE TO SEE HER AS BEING GAY IF THAT IS THE WAY THEY ARE GOING TO BE....IT IS VERY HARD TO BE IN YOUR SHOES...IN A SMALL TOWN THERE IS ALOT OF TALK GOING ON ABOUT YOU AND YO OUR PARENTS ARE HEARING THIS AND THAT MAYBE THE REASON THEY DENI THE FACT...THERE ARE ALOT OF SUPPORT GROUPS OUT THERE FOR YOU THAT CAN HELP MAYBE..IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK....BUT IT IS WORTH A TRY TO GO TO A GROUP SESSION AND MAYBE GET SOME PAH LETS THAT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR PARENTS TO READ TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND THAT YOU OR HER HAVE ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU CHOICE TO BE GAY....I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE JUST EXCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND NOT WHAT YOUR LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.........I WISH YOU ALOT OF LUCK....AND ALWAYS LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH
2006-07-17 13:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by whitewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people go through this. First feel comfortable with who you are totally, and never worry what others think including your parents. Keep on talking about your sexuality as if it is so normal at any chance you get (since it is sooo normal). You will see they will slowly get used to it in time. Simple human psychology.
2006-07-17 13:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Moosty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you at a point wherre you are ready to give them an ultimatum? either accept her or we will leave and you will never see me again?
chancwes are they will never accept her, or your lifestyle. it happens all over the world. it is a sad reality. yu can sit down and express how you feel and ask why they are so against it, and her. you can decide how far you are willinng to go in your choice to live the life hat you have been given. or you can just learn to accept that this is the way things are.
some people are red necks. it is a sad fact of life. you dont like it. i dont like it. but it is true. what are you willing to risk?
2006-07-17 13:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by Justme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the old story about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink? If you've given your parents every opportunity to know you as a lesbian woman, and to know your partner, and they just aren't interested, you get past it.
You can continue to love them, but just not spend much time with them. If they want to have you as a daughter who spends time with them, calls every Sunday and all that, they need to change.
2006-07-17 15:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's not a film but Glee, in the episode "I kissed a girl" a girl comes out and tells her parents. They accept but her grandmother kicks her out of her house for being gay. "But I'm the same person I was a minute ago! If I kept it a secret, I would still have your love and my desicion."
2016-03-26 22:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's your parents that need the help. Why should they accept something that is wrong, just because you are their child? If my child was confused about their sexuality, I would not accept their behavoir, but I would still love them as my child. God doesn't hate the sinner. He hates the sin.
2006-07-17 13:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by willowdove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can try telling them that their hatred towards you is less healthy than your sexuality.
2017-02-25 14:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by daniela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋