I'm stressed right now because I'm temporarily working a job that I don't fit into well. It leaves me exhausted and unable to cope with much else. This job will end in a couple of months I will start something that I do fit well with, and then I will start being ambitious again. My present job is going to help me get started in the new venture, so I have to keep going. I've tried to explain to my husband that things will be back to normal very soon, but he doesn't get it. In fact, he comes across like he does't trust me and is attacking my approach to discipline. He has the same attitude about some other things in my career that I've had to let go of temporarily. He cares that I accomplish my goals, but he has such a driven attitude about it that he's driving me crazy. I am very insulted and hurt by his attitude and I don't deserve it. I love him and want the marriage to work. Any thoughts?
2006-07-17 12:12:37 · 10 answers · asked by Joni B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you love him and you want the marriage to work, don't listen to any of the old wives above telling you to split.... thats not how you make marriage work. Marriage is about toughing out the hard bits and growing as a couple.
I know you weren't thinking of it but splitting when you're doing a job you don't fit into is a very bad idea. you won't be thinking clearly while you are unhappy.
If he cares you accomplish your goals then sounds like he's a bit of alright.
Is there something else to this, how long have you been doing this temporary job maybe its been so long he can't see the light? Perhaps he doesn't get it because he doesn't like to see you so exhausted and stressed all the time from your work.
My thoughts are that you will both have alot of relationship touble if you are both letting each others crazyness and crazy jobs and commitments bully you into being grumpy and seemingly dissatisfied all the time.
Perhaps more focus should be on what makes you two happy to be together, instead of what goes on when you are apart.
2006-07-20 04:07:55 · answer #1 · answered by BouncingMolar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not quite sure what you are meaning by "approach to dicipline"; discipline who....your kids or you? Anyhow it sounds like that deep down inside your husband, he is actually jealous of your career and feels threatened by it. Hes actually afraid you will surpass him on accomplishing your goals. He may be at a point in his career that is at a standstill and feels threatened that yours is ready to take off. His controlling you or the attempt of it, is his way of showing his dislike. Controlling is a male dominance thing and is usual in men. Now dont take this to mean he doesnt love you, quite the opposite is true, he just feels that this is an attack on his male macho ego whether he admits it or not. There is really nothing short of giving up your career totally, that you can do. He, in his own way will just have to deal with the fact that hes married to an ambitious, goal oriented wife. good luck
2006-07-17 19:28:43 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish there where more women like you out there. I'm impressed that you recognize the fact that marriage takes effort. You need to look him in the eyes and tell him exactly what you've told all of us. If you married him, he can't be all that bad. I'm sure a part of you also appreciates his driven personality. You just need to have him tone it down a bit. In your heart you know the reason he is so driven with you is because he wants whats best for both of you.
Talk it out, calmly!
2006-07-17 19:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did say that this was your career, right? Try quitting your job and leaving him to carry the load, I bet you that the title to your next question would be more like: MY HUSBAND LOST HIS DAMN MIND, HOW DO I GET THIS FOOL SOME HELP?
Sorry I can't tell you how to make him understand, but I can tell you that you have every right to pursue your career as you see fit.
P.S. Don't give up
2006-07-17 19:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he's relaxed or during dinner and in a calm voice explain to him how you're feeling. If he doesn't care, then you have your answer. Hopefully, He won't be as selfish as he's acting right now, and will do everything he can to minimize your stress. Good luck.
2006-07-17 19:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by tamitones1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him maybe when your lying down tonight in bed how stress full everything is and that you would appreciate it if he could cut you a little slack and be a little more patient with you a controlling man is a insecure person inside he could be having a hard time on his job as well
2006-07-17 19:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by Kay D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a trail separation. Explain to him that what you said here, and let him know you want to share life with him as his partner. Not as an employee of his.
2006-07-17 19:30:47 · answer #7 · answered by Chew on this! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could consider marriage counseling to get to the bottom of his actions, and learn coping skills for your less than perfect job situation
2006-07-17 19:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him and tell him how you feel if that don't work leave him you don't deserve the abuse
2006-07-17 23:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by mylove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him how u feel and hopefully he will understand.
2006-07-17 19:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by blueinnocentjoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋