Why are women so rubbish at facing upto and solving problems?

Question

In my humble and limited experience women prefer to break down and then carryon as if nothing has happened or runaway as opose to actually trying to come to a solution. This has caused me so much grief in the past its untrue. These women I have known are intelligent, loving, caring and wouldn't wish upset on anyone yet do because they seem to be incapable of even attempting to solve a problem. Just why? I can only think of two answers one they really can't (why?) or two (and I don't like this one either) they are astonishingly selfish. Help me! :) I don't want either of the above answers to be true. Is there anything I can say to communicate that its usually a good idea to solve problems quickly and simply without pissing them off and before things become an issue?!! I feel stupid for not being able to understand, I'm trying to solve this problem!

I love the reactions! I am supportive and sympathetic because I am trusting. I always fall into the trap of beleiving that if I am there for a women and not at all meddling but there to talk to when needed that the women will eventually do something. But they never do. Its worse when you know exactly what to do but have to stay quite about it because it would probably make them cry. I don't make girls cry by the way I get frustrated and down instead... yeah

I know its a sexist generalisation. And I know people have different ways of dealing with things. I just tend to think that if you talk about it (like I think women do) it makes you feel better and therefore makes it easier to ignore the problem, the problem then crops up again and upsets you again because it wasn't solved the first time so you talk about it feel better and ignore it again becasue you feel better and so on forever. I'm not talking complete nonsense here. When i say problem I obviously mean ones of a personnal relationship nature not the weekly shopping.

Answer 1

the magic words are "limited experience" keep hanging in there sweetie, as your experience grows your understanding and the diversity of the women you date will surely change your mind. Keep being a good guy, there are plenty of strong women just waiting to walk by your side, but remember even the strongest of us every now and then will break out in a crying, hissie fit, it's our way of relieving tension.

Answer 2

If you just do it right (to my liking) the first time, I wouldn't have to cry and carry on the way I do, and there would be no problem to solve. Why should I come up with a solution? You're the one who has no clue. How can I be selfish when I do so much for you?When I pretend that nothing has happened, or run away, it's because I think that maybe you love me enough to run after me with the apology that I deserve. Why am I always the one who has to sacrifice for you? I'm the one who always has to say "I'm sorry". Even when I've done nothing wrong. Your way is always right. Yes I am intelligent; if I wasn't, I wouldn't see how you're treating me. I am loving and caring and wouldn't want to upset anyone. That's my character, and that's why it's so easy for people to walk all over me. Just respect me, accept me, and treat me right and I'll be happy. I may even have a personality disorder without knowing about it, so just love me.Don't try to change me.

Answer 3

I think, that when women come up against a difficult problem, the first thing that they look for, is emotional support. They want to draw someone else into the equation. Men, tend to focus on the problem and the practicalities of how it might be resolved. Both, may eventually need outside help to solve the problem, but their approach to it, will often be different. We are generalising, of course. Sometimes, a man wouldn't actually think that there is a problem, in any given set of circumstances, whereas a women might. But, as one of your female respondees above, stated, "there is a conspiracy amongst females, to try to confuse men".

Answer 4

1) response number two is right, you're making a very broad generalization. Individuals do have different ways of going about things
2) Studies on gender differences (and let's remember that there are always individual exceptions to studies, and #1 still applies) have shown that while men tend to keep their problems to themselves, decide on an action on their own, and act, women tend to talk about their problem, take in suggestions/responses, and then decide on their action. So when you think they're just whining, they might, in fact, be attempting to solve the problem by a method that's just foreign to you.

There is a chance that someone who does nothing but talk about their problems, male or female, just wants attention or someone to solve it for them, but that isn't necessarily the case w/ your female friends. If you've made all the helpful suggestions you can, I've found that often the best way to get them to be quiet is to say that you're out of suggestions, and maybe if the problem's really bothering them they should talk to a therapist about it. Tends to work.

Answer 5

What kind of spineless, pathetic, ditzy girls have u met!! I always take care of my bull sh*t!! If u piss me off or upset me I will take the fight straight to u I won't run away like a coward. I know how to take care of myself, and I'm extremely good at it, and I love talking!! If something is wrong I'll face the problem with you! U need to find a strong woman who is not afraid to speak her mind and tell u when she is upset. If u have had this problem with these kinds of girls here is a simple answer, Pick a new type of girl to go out with, there a large variety of girls out there, and u would be suprised that many female's have more emotional strength then u do!!

~*_*~dEbBiE~*_*~ 16
cHiCaGo, iLLiNoiS

If u have anymore questions contact me and I'll be happy to clear anything up for u!!

[e-mail], that's my IM as well

Answer 6

In my personal experiences, it is men who cannot make decisions and ignore the problems. I think women have a tendency to overanalyze every solution (at least in my case). It's hard to make a decision when some of the solutions are almost equal in their results. If there is a significant other (boyfriend/husband) I would look to him for support in helping me to make a decision based on his knowledge of the issue. Men are too quick to assume that just because an answer may upset the woman that he should not say it. But what I look for is honesty whether it hurts or not. When you're in a relationship you should look to each other for support in everything big or small and you should be willing to be supportive.

Answer 7

Because women in general are not consistent. Just think about how they are always pouting when they don't get their way. How one thing can be funny one second and the next it's not. They want to be "free and independent", yet they still want a man to solve all the problems and to slave for them at the same time.
They are also irrational, shallow and extremely egoistic. and they want the whole world to circle around them. Well in all of this is the answer to your question . How can you expect to understand something like that ?

Answer 8

Firstly, you make a rather generalised sweeping statement which is untrue and unfounded, and secondly, how about looking at yourself? Maybe these women breakdown or 'carry on as if nothing has happened' because you do not offer the kind of support they would need in such a situation. Perhaps the fact its happened more than once (I assume so, as you talk about 'women' not just 'a woman') would make you consider your own actions even more.

Answer 9

Biologically we are under pressure out distinctive. then you definitely take into result that various the time boys and girls are taken care of in any different case from beginning. additionally, you have various the previous double standards that come into play besides in the elevating of a toddler which motives the youngsters to view themselves in distinctive approaches. Then as quickly as we get the right age to think of and are available to a determination for ourselves we get crushed with all the media interest that forces women to be paranoid concerning to the way the seem at themselves and on the worldwide, and then men in straightforward terms strengthen what the media is telling them. rather plenty we are screwed from the beginning up.

Answer 10

it sounds more like they are just venting to you. You are not suppose to come up with a solution, you are just there to lend an ear and be supportive. Besides how many times have you given advice to someone and they never take it? It's better she comes up with the solution herself and that way she can't come back to blame you because her solution didn't end up they way she predicted.

Be more patient and good luck

Answer 11

That was a pretty generalized, sexist assumption. Everyone has their own way of dealing with problems. You resorted to an internet site!