In my life there have been more than I can count on one hand of people whom I have dearly cared about who have

Question

committed suicide and another one of my friends over the weekend. This is so hard because no one ever sees it comming and I just wondered, do you think people black out and loose what sense they have when they are depressed enough to even think about doing this and when they do what do you think goes through there minds? I have never wanted to kill my self and I don't understand, just want to know if anyone knows more than I do ?
When people don't say anything what are the warning signs? I spoke to my friend on the phone like a day or two before this happened and I thought they sounded normal and happy, What could have happened in one to two days? I dunno I know a lot but what should I have listened/looked for?

I agree that suicide is a major cop out and feel that people who do it are weak! It makes me mad because I have lost some great people in my life and it was just because they were weak and found the easy way out.

Answer 1

~Might be the result of over-exposure to your not-in-the-service industry but working in the travel industry T [ravel] agent New York frame of mind (or at least personality) that makes them feel that way. Anyway,

"you don't have a clue what you are talking about and besides IT'S JUST A QUESTION, SO CHILL! and I bet you are one of those kinds of people who think you are just the best and your opinion is much better than anyone elses"
[T agent, July 20, 2006 - cf: comment to (chosen by voters) best answerer bcptm, re: "Why are New Yorkers so Mean?"]

Answer 2

No I don't think they black out or loose there common sense I think being that they are so depress they just see past it. I think they contemplate whether or not they want to carry on with the procedure. I think alot of thought goes into if they want to do this or not. I don't think anyone will ever understand what certain people who commit suicide are thinking and the pain they feel and exactly what they are going through. Sometimes there are signs and sometimes there aren't. Some people rather keep things to them selves. When we all know that is not good. I believe you should have looked some kind of change in your friend, did he/she ever said he wish he/she was dead, did they say they were not happy and just a different person all of a sudden. But don't be down on your self if you didn't see the signs maybe he/she didn't want to annoy you with there problem and didn't want you to worry about them. It was a bad choice they made for some odd reason but take your time to mourn and then get on with your life but not forget about them. I believe your friend would want you to.

Answer 3

If you really knew these people well you would have figured it out or will. True friendships will share information somehow. Maybe you only thought you were a friend. Everyone is different when it comes to what sets them off. Most are bi-polar and have mood swings.Psychology books by professionals and therapy groups. If you can write you can read. The Internet is a great start to search for yourself.My own recall of being really depressed was like being inside a jar like an insect and running out of air and energy. The idea of medications was like putting a band-aid on your soul and more of an insult. There are some things people can't share if they feel guilty as if they are condemned to die by the judgments of others.The most important thing I think I've ever heard is that I am a survivor.If you're a survivor than you've been there.It makes it much easier to relate to others and feel more sympathetic.

Answer 4

This is a tough question for me because my best friend killed herself and so did my second cousin. They are both female.
I never once found any reason to be concerned with their behavior prior to their suicides. They both seemed and acted just fine .Never let on something was wrong. When people are depressed to the point of giving up everything they love , it means the no longer want to be around . They go into a state of denial and they do not know what else to do. The people who are like this can't handle situations that have been making them feel this way .. They can't even reason with them selves after being in a state of depression and confusion.. i am so very sorry for your lose I know exactly how you are feeling.

Answer 5

Wow, TAgent. I'm so sorry for your loss! I hope that you can find some sort of peace that will sustain you. I think suicides are so hurt and in such a bad place that they want to stop the pain. As someone else noted, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But I think we can be compassionate to someone who was in so much pain. As you say, there are often no warning signs. I think this is one of the saddest things about suicide: the loved ones of the deceased are left with such guilt. I hope you aren't plagued with guilt. You sound like you are a wonderful and caring friend.

Almondjoy_1000, YOU are an asshole!

Answer 6

From personal experience, I only have friends that listen to me, and not just rattle off about everything that is going on with them. I think that you may need to find some more up beat, positive friends.
As far as signs, sometimes if you are even very close to that person you may not see any. A lot of people cover up their problems, so you have to 'read between the lines'.
But do make better friends and see what happens. I am not being mean, but are you being too negative, and sucking them dry of their positiveness?

Answer 7

it is really hard to say i have attempted suicide many times and have never succeded yet. I mean some people do not give off warning signs i know that i never really did and when they say that depression is a deadly disease that is so the truth. It can kill you in a minute. i mean some of the signs are that they are trying to give you their most precious things. It can be hidden in the words that they say. When u know that someone is depressed keep an eye on them and watch what they say if they talk of death, dying, loss, anything out of the ordinary it is a sign. Also my best friend and me had a suicide pact and was going to kill ourselves well she did it right in front of me and told me i was stronger and to not do it and it pissed me off.

Answer 8

The people who threaten to commit suicide hardly ever do it. The ones who do attempt it are often the ones who contemplate on the subject quietly.......They are very unsatisfied with their lives , have no meaning in life and think that they do not have the strength to change and adapt to their situation. Unfortunately, these signs are not always visible.All you can do is CARE about the people that surround you , let then know that they are not alone and help them see the beauty of life even in the most simple things!

Answer 9

i think thoughts of suicide and depression build up in their minds. I think we are culturally trained not to tell others when we are in trouble. Your friend may have been thinking about this for a long time. I studied a smidgeon of psychology in school, they said withdrawal from friends, lack of future plans, and giving up prized possesions are some warning signs. Some people don't show signs they just do it.

Answer 10

Sorry , BUt suicide, has ALWAYS been a copout in my book,
NO one ever said LIFE was going to be easy.
its usually an attention thing and OPPS they didnt get found in time.
OR they seem to think it will be the end all be all of guilt, dont take it personal, There is nothing you can or could have done once a person has there mind made up.
get on with your life and be happy your a survivor.

to bad so sad, but WINNERS want to live.
and Ive had a barrel of a revolver in my mouth, and considered all my options.
but its now way out.
Its the losers way out.
People have to learn to deal with LIFE on LIFES terms!