My wife got mad at me because i didn't wanna go over to her mom's house. I said i didn't wanna go, and she argued that's not a good excuse. I then said that I'm tired and i just wanna relax in my house, and she got mad. She also said that if we lived near my mom and she didn't wanna go, how would i feel, I then told her, but we don't live near my mom and i don't think we ever will. Point to take into consideration, my family lives in california, we live in south carolina, i moved here so she could be near her mom because that's what she wanted. Did I do something wrong?
2006-07-17 11:24:40 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I don't think so. She needs to be respectful of you and what you want to do. I'm a wife and would want my husband to go and do everything I do but I can't get mad. If I do get mad then I get over it, oh well. She'll get over it too.
2006-07-17 11:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.. The thing is that your wife might be a little too attached to her mom not that this is a bad thing but you should simply talk to her and let her know that you love her and you respect all her but when you to decided to marry each other you became each others family and she should take that into consideration. Now where you went wrong is moving close to her family. I feel that you shouldn't live close to neither one of your family cause sometime it can cause problems. So learn your lesson. Let her know that when she wants to visit her mother whenever she wants what counts is that she goes i can guaranty the mom could care less if you go. Plus it would be better for her cause then you aren't there rushing her or not feeling interested
2006-07-17 18:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by mysteriouskisses12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey
this can be such a touchy subject with people! But You were very good to move soo close just so she could be near her mother/family. The bible says that both husband and wife leave their parents and cleve to eachother! She sounds like she is having a probleming cleving! When she has calmed down, I would give her a card and tell her I aplogize! Let her know that sometimes its just nice for you to stay home and kick back! If you really want to be nice, and if you have children tell her you will keep the kids and why doesnt she take her mom to lunch! You got the kids, okay! take care
2006-07-17 20:16:11 · answer #3 · answered by rayjenne24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both sound like children.
Ask your wife to sit down with you and work on stress reduction. Otherwise for the next 50 years you two will have the same argument over and over again. Trips to her mom can be spontaneous, but she can't expect you to always want to go at the drop of a hat. There need to be planned trips to mom where the two of you agree to go together. This is so simple and just might save your marriage or at least save all those arguments.
You were wonderful to move so that she can be near your famly. It shows that you love her alot. But, it is time to stop this silly arguing and have a game plan to avoid it in the future.
2006-07-17 18:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, it's not about going to her mom's, or not going. Women seldom fight over the real issue. They pick a symptom. You need to figure out what she's really upset about. Here's some thoughts:
1. You moved to SC to be close to her mom... is it possible she feels guilty about that, and you not wanting to go over reminds her of the guilt?
2. Is it possible she's still "momma's little girl" and that relationship is more important than yours? Or worse, that you're only valuable as an addition to mommy, not as an alternative?
3. Is she upset because you often don't want to get up and go out, and momma's is just one more straw?
4. Does she realize she's too attached to momma, and you pointing that out points out her immaturity/insecurity?
5. Do you not show her in other ways that you care about what's important to her?
6. Does she not understand that her values don't always have to be your values? That she has no right to make the decisions that affect your life? That at best, she has a voice (as do you), but she doesn't get to punish you just for disagreeing?
Just some thoughts.
2006-07-17 18:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor guy! You moved here so she could be close to her Mommy? Sounds like she needs to cut the apron stings! It is possible for her to have a close relationship with her mother without having to be under her butt all the time. And maybe her mother needs to realize that and begin to break away a bit.
I think you are justified in being mystified by this. I think you have every right to want to stay home, kick off your shoes & relax a bit.
Tell her you are sorry and that you will be glad to go next time, but this time, you just need some time to yourself. Tell her to go ahead and go, give her some cash & tell her to stop and get her mother and her some dinner or whatever.
2006-07-17 18:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by silly_nut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be honest your wife probably was annoyed with you because if she gos to her mom's house without you automatically her mom is going to ask what wrong, are you fighting, he doesn't like me, what did I do. Parents, like my own seem to think the worst if the couple is not together. I mean if it's just a stop in to pick something up that's one thing but if it's for lunch, dinner, ect... it's going to bring up a lot of dumb crap that your wife probably does not want to hear about. That's been my experience..
2006-07-17 19:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by what do you think? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife needs to grow up. I used to feel like that about my husband,but I was young and immature then. It has a lot to do with her insecurities. Why does she need for you to go with her anyway? Ask her is something going on where you will be needed or does she just feel more secure with you near. Ask her to tell you the real reason she wants you to go with her. And no,you were not wrong in trying to please your wife by moving close to her mother. Maybe she will come to appreciate what you did.
2006-07-17 19:02:14 · answer #8 · answered by mrsreadalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i remembering telling my wife that I don't want to go her parents house and she got mad big time and I told her you can't tell me what to do and I don't tell you what you need to do.. and Your family left me out of this and waste my time going over there and it becasue you want to go there then you go ove rthere. we live 5 miles now we live 4 hrs from her parents and she can drive over there with our kids and have fun 2 weeks and she knows I have to work and I pay some of the rent and Why would i pay rent if i can't feel conformable at home. I have my rights.
So tell her if she want to move close that fine but don't expect me to go with you even if you live closer to them. just strigh out being honest and that what you doing... if she can't respect you what you want to do then you do the same thing.
2006-07-17 18:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was probably just looking forward to the family being together and you rained on her parade. Sometimes you should be social with family even when your tired. I'm always tired.
2006-07-17 18:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by Farrah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋