He is 52 and Im 42 years old. It is a very painfull situation. He always is rejecting me. Im feel still young and good looking. How I can improve our sexual life. It is afecting me so much. I really love him.
2006-07-17 11:02:39 · 18 answers · asked by mash06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi there,
I have 20 years of Couples Counseling experience. I have also been in the medical field.
It is difficult to answer a question so important as this without more information, so I will only generalize.
First, as you and many of the readers reading this already know, many medications inferfere with a mans sexual drive. The average man thinks of sex every 3-7 minutes. Also, some meds will not affect a mans drive BUT will affect his POTENT ability, in other words he can not acheive an erection, so rather than be put in that humiliating position, he turns away. it has nothing to do with you. At 42 years of age, you are in your sexual peak. You probably feel quite Horny, (IT may sound crass but continue to read)
Also, remember what you wrote, you said it was PAIN medication. Pain is something that keeps a person from being sexually "turned on".
Recently a couple of my patients, Both in their 70's were joking in the hall about a certain Administrative assistant who works there in the hospital who happens to be very attractive, blond, with all of the right ASSets and ample BOSOM. Both of these men are weak, in pain and are Diabetic(can't acheive erection), but they are still sexually aroused. So the issue may be that their are many issues.
Now listen, don't give up!!! It would be so easy for an attractive 42 year old hottie to "HOOK up" with a younger man who is just as excited about being with a MILF or "older woman" that it would be for a Milf or older woman to be with a muscular young HARD stud. BUT...............................you will end up hating yourself in the end. Your husband would despise you. etc.
Hang in there, have him try St. Johns wort for depression, its all natural. Also, have him take a multivitamin that contains Yohimbe. Yohimbe is actually listed in the Physicians Desk Reference as a ERECTILE Dysfunction Medication that is all natural. It comes from african treebark. Men would use it because they had 3 or more wives, so they had to PERFORM quite a few times per night, so they would chew this tree bark that they found helped them perform. Don't offer your husband the YOHIMBE, he may be insulted,.................but hey vitamins do help.....................................
2006-07-17 11:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by JudoMan77 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most medications like that have side effects that keep men from having an erection. He probably pushes you away because he would have to admit he cannot get an erection. For some reason men measure their worth on this and their performances in bed. He isnt rejecting you --He is rejecting being rejected (if this makes sense). Be supportive and love him anyway.
2006-07-17 11:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by jiffypop88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try having sex before he takes the medicine. Sex is also a good pain reliever, and he might not need as much medication. Also you two could talk to his doctor about this problem, he might be able to help.
2006-07-17 12:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to seek out a pain management specialist, acupuncturist or a possible massage therapist depending upon the injury.
Be honest w/ him but reassure him there is no judgement on your part - you're just afraid of losing that intimate connection you have w/ him.
And remember, when you're in severe pain, either emotionally or physically it's difficult to see beyond you own problems but if you're not honest w/ him, there's no hope of it magically getting better.
2006-07-17 11:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by audeo8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek professional help. We do not know if it is the side effect of the medication or just him. Maybe the pain is affecting him. Lets not guess. Seek help from pros.
2006-07-17 11:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by Lost Sheep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some sex toys for yourself. As for him if he needs the pain meds be sympathetic... If he is addicted get him help. Dont underestimate just being together. Dont take your selfworth from external sources
2006-07-17 11:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The medication he is taking may be effecting him sexually. Pain medication also makes people very tired.
2006-07-17 11:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by elebendy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
without sounding rude you could try giving him blooow jobs to start off with,sometimes initially he might not feel like it but once you start he will,try doing a strip dance for him alap dance and try getting into new things like bondage just betweeen the two of you
2006-07-17 11:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont think its you , think it could be the meds. an it could be his in so much pain sex is the last thhing he wants to do, give him time to feel better , im sure he thinks your good looking an probaly needs you as much as you do him, remember you married him for in sickness an in health,
2006-07-17 11:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
medication can affect people in different ways, depending on the medication, the dosage, and the persons' condition.... Don't force your husband to have sex if he doesn't want to..... Hopefully your husband bets better....
2006-07-17 11:06:06 · answer #10 · answered by Redknight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋