getting divorced in about a month or so. does anyone know legally what i can do to keep things in my favor. becuase of my situation (in military) she has to keep the kids with her). I done mind supporting my ids (i.e. child support) just dont want to go completely broke in the process. The reason we are divorcing is because she cheated on me when i got back fomm iraq. Now shes talking to my bro so were definitly not workin things out. Does anyone here who has expeiriance in this got any advice?
oh while im at it, any single women in NC? lol
2006-07-17 10:38:42 · 11 answers · asked by sodomy priest 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello sodomy_priest,
I'm sorry to hear that you are getting a divorce. That is never an easy time for anybody. I know. I've been there.
My advice to you is to get the best damn lawyer that you can afford. Ask around, as many guys as you can, where you live, who they would recommend as a good divorce lawyer and go see them. Everyone has their horror stories. Talk to the guys who felt that they got the best divorce and see their lawyer.
Don't scrimp on a lawyer, you'll be paying for it the rest of your life. Also, keep on talking to other guys about this. You'll be surprised how not alone you are in the world.
You will probably be paying child support, but you need a savvy lawyer that can put everything in perspective and get you the best deal and to actually be thinking about you and your rights.
Also don't feel guilty. Guys tend to get the guilt treatment from their X-wife (and even their kids) about how poor they are and how you are leaving them. They are manipulating you. Let the lawyers handle the divorce.
Finally, what ever you do, don't take her back. I hope that this helps.
--Rick
2006-07-17 11:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a forumla used by the Courts called Child Support Guidelines. The support is based on both parties' income, time spent with the kids, who pays medical, etc. You put those numbers into the formula and Bingo, the magic child support number appears.
You should have an attorney help you with this process.
2006-07-17 10:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let the military take out the amount for the number of children you have. It will be fair to you and the kids. Most states start at 14% for child #1 and 21% for two children together and so on and so forth.
2006-07-17 10:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Brother? What did you see in her in the first place? Certainly not morals! Anyway, regardless to where you get a divorce, the child support is based on what your salary is monthly, and what your living finances tend to be. So, it's not much that you can do on this, but hope for the better on her not trying to get more. Good Luck!
2006-07-17 13:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God you have decided to get a divorce! I feel so much for you guys fighting for our country in Iraq. Obviously, you're wife counldn't care less. She was only out to please herself. You don't want to work things out with this woman....next time you're away, she'll do the same thing. You'll never be able to trust her. If I were you, I would try and get custody of your kids. There is no reason SHE has to have them. Then you can file for child support from her. If she has them, and wants to keep them, go to court and let them decide. Maybe you can get joint custody, and won't have to pay quite as much for child support. Good luck and God bless you!!! Thanks for keeping our country safe!
2006-07-17 10:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a web search to find the divorce laws that cover your state. If your State is NC, you will be granted a legal separation on the grounds of adultery. It also says that adultery will be considered when awarding alimony. Please don't see other women until all of this is sorted out. It will make matters worse. I wish you weren't going through this. And God bless you and thank you for your service to our country. You and your children deserve better.
2006-07-17 10:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I ask a Question? Why does she have to keep the kids? I have several military friends male and female that have their kids?? I do know that until your divorcee is final you need to keep in very close contact with your kids and make sure they do not go with out ANY THING. (ie, toilet paper, soap, etc..) Then the Judge will see that you are a good father. Good luck to you.....
2006-07-17 10:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by celtic925 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first you need to talk to jag, cause you need a lawyer, second,if you can prove she cheated then you are golden, if not, well .....it could go either way.you need proof she cheated, and if i were you, i would hide some money, im just k eepin it real,and last but not least, shes a whore for dating your brother, i wish i could here that conversation with your kids, mommy is dating uncle so and so, and hes gonna be your step dad, and your uncle, hes no better.get that proof and bury her a s s casue you deserve better, off fightin for our country and shes out there like that.
2006-07-17 10:55:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I went in to my devorce with out a legal rep and I got taken to the cleaners. get some good legal rep and you will do fine
2006-07-17 13:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by sparks2228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could work with a divorce mediator. That's what I plan to do.
2006-07-17 13:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by hrmom02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋