Why do so many men believe their job ends at 5pm, but the stay-at-home mom's job should be 24-7??

Question

Not to mention that so many men think its easier! My husband says "its like a vacation! You don't have to really work.". Is cleaning toilets, sweeping and mopping, vacuuming, bathing the dog, cleaning the cat box, doing dishes three times a day, cooking three meals a day, dusting, cleaning tables and windows, constantly picking up toys, grocery shopping, going to doctors, registering for school, doing laundry for four people, managing and paying the bills, all with a three and a five year old, not working?? Did I miss the memo??

"WMP" Can't work. Disc injuries.

Answer 1

Hey not all of us are like that. When I got home from work, I always told my wife to sit down and relax and let me take over for the night. I often fed, bathed and bedded the kids when I got home. Mopped floors, cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

And then sat down to do all the bills, balance the checkbook etc. etc.

Of course what did I get for all my troubles?
A wife with a boyfriend. Maybe I should not have let her have so much free time.

Answer 2

It's just the way society is, although it absolutely isn't fair. More guys are not starting to help out around the house, though the woman still gets a disproportionate amount of the work. There are still too many men who adhere to traditional male roles, where they are the "breadwinner" and the woman's job is in the home, although almost as many women as men have full-time jobs. Sharing work around the house should be something that's understood before marriage, otherwise the woman will be in a hole that's awfully hard to get out of.

Answer 3

You've got a good point, and I personally would not detract anythign from what it is you do. But you are making a bit of a blanket statement about men and thier attitude toward stay at home mothers. Also, maybe it's just me and the business I'm in, but I don't know a single person whose job ends at 5 pm anymore. Mine seems to take up my evenings and weekends quite often.

Answer 4

You shouldn't limit your question to include only men. I'm a Stay at home Dad and I have the same problems you do. And I also am accused of "having it easy" since all I have to do all day is dishes, laundry, cook 2 meals, shop, help 3 kids with their homework, drive 1 kid to school and pick him up, take everyone to their MD and DDS appointments, talk to Teachers, on and on and on and on and on.....but you already know what the job entails.

It's not just men, believe me. I get no respect for what I do and my Wife thinks it's easier than what she has to do. I must have missed that memo also.

Answer 5

lol! Some men are like that, they are still tied to the old fashioned way where they work and the worman stays at home, to mind the children and do all that you mentioned. You can compromise with your husband, take turns at doing things, for example he can help do the grocery shopping, bathing the doy, cleaning, taking care of the children... you know, you have to invite him to help you with the chores, sit and talk to him, otherwise he will always believe that you don't have a problem doing all the stuff at home, plus more (know what i mean? yet they still wonder how come you are feeling too tired/ These men.)

It's 2006 darling! things have changed, and you can change him by talking to him. Talk to him baby, let him know what and how you feel. Good luck!

Answer 6

I so know where you are coming from. I ask this same question to myself. My husband works full-time and I work outside the home as well. Granted, right now my hours are reduced, so I only work outside the home about 20 hours a week, but at the same time, I'm supposed to be the only one to do all the cooking, cleaning, washing. I mean, this man could've just walked out of the kitchen as I'm walking in, and now suddenly, he wants a sandwich and has the nerve to ask me to make him one right as he's leaving. I think it's just pure laziness and that all housewives should go on strike, we all go on vacation and leave the men to fend for themselves, then they will see how 'easy' is it to work and do all the housework.

Answer 7

oh my god!!! my wife work 7 30 am to 4 pm and I work 8 30 am to 5 pm and she pick up kids after five and don't get home until 5 40 pm and I get home 5 10 pm and clean up the house put dishes away and make sure the bills take care and I make sure kitchen and everything house clean up before kids get home. I even get dinner ready... I clean cat litter, make sure have food and water, I make sure outside clean water for kids to play in the pool, I make sure that kids have bathroom towels, PJ, Diper, I even do laundry, go food shopping too Makeing sure bed is made and making sure that they have teeth brush....... If my wife is stay home 24 hrs and I would help my wife and have her have a break and do what she need to do and watch my kid and I even do that when she get home from work and she said i notice and told her go do what you need to do and she said really??? i said yeah... we take turn.... and It my job too take care of kids not all the wife have to do 24/7 ... wrong. it take two people to do the job and help another.

I am a male and I do woman and wife work and I have no plm at all and it help each other alot. I don't care if he have vacation becasue he is wrong soon or later when kids get older and they will love mom more than dad. and I make sure my kids love me and mom too smiling.

hope he read this and Hey if you man enough to take care of your wife and kids and then show it....if you can't show man enough then you not good father and husband.... you not helping at all. You know that when you have kids it take parents to work as team to take care kids I don't care how long you work or what you do all day at owrk or night... you need to do the job too. things change now it not 1900 where women don't work... she have reason health reason and you need to show support and being there for her. if you can't then you bunches of loser like other man.... I felt bad for your wife and kids. I won't be suprise if she left you and make you pay child support and you will wished that I should help her more and take care of my kids.

Answer 8

dam you need help. the fact is that American men grow up with the notion that they are the king of the castle. ( which i myself am guilty of ) we believe that being the bread winner entitles you to not have to deal with the house problems. the truth is that its just not true. he needs to help around the house. when i was married i went through the same thing. but i broke my arm and had to stay home for 4 months ( bad break ) so my wife at the time found a job and left me to do the house work. two weeks later i QUIT. i couldn't take it anymore. i had two kids at the time (6&2) that needed constant attention and a home that had to be cleaned daily. it was over whelming. taking the 6 year old to pre-k staying with a terrble twos baby all day. cleaning, making sure everybody eats and the dishes are clean. all with 1 arm.
like i said I quit after 2 weeks and hired some help. do a role reversal with your husband he will see the difficulty of running a household on a daily basis. good luck and take some time everyday for yourself.

Answer 9

I go through the same thing, I do it all,,,,,,, EVEN when I worked full time. My husband does not share any of the responsibility for our daughter. He thinks his duty is to just go to work and come home, I have a major problem with that because I do the same things, I work full time, I have even run childcare out of my home, so we would not have to spend the money on childcare, and that for me was great except I got treated like dirt and was told all those wonderful negative things. I have finally told him that he has to change or I am a gonner, Right now, I am the stay at home mom, but I will always have my family to back me up if need be.. Good luck it is a stickey situation, like I say I am super mom, super wife, super dad, super taxi, and everything else.... but ME..

Answer 10

Most SAHMs who work from home do one of a few things 1. They already had an established career and have the flexibility to work from home 2. They are doing a "business opportunity" like Avon type things (most of them don't really make any money with this, a rare few do) 3. They babysit other children with their own, usually only 1 or 2, depending on the age of their child.