A program I have installed on my computer to monitor the kids activities recently copied me some text from my wife's yahoo chat sessions with a male online friend. The chat sessions featured sexual innuendos and in one part she typed in "just thought before my husband woke up..." and apparently turned on the webcam because her friend responded with "that is a pretty little nightie". So apparently she was wearing some sexy clothing to show him behind my back!
I confronted her with my discovery the next day. She insisted that their was nothing behind their sexual talk and that she was inappropriate to have worn such clothing in front of the webcam for him but that it did not involve any nudity whatsoever and I shouldn't be so mistrusting of her. After our talk I actually felt bad for being suspicious of her. However I can not get these events out of my mind. HOW WOULD YOU REACT????
2006-07-17 09:48:25 · 10 answers · asked by jmarshal74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have reacted the same way. I consider this cheating even if it is on the Internet. She is being unfaithful to you instead of spending her energy on you and the children.
I don't know how she could possibly claim that there was nothing behind their sexual talk. Didn't she see your reaction? Didn't she see that it upset you? You have a right to be mistrusting of her if she is behaving so immaturely with another man on the Internet.
How would I react? I would be livid. It would change how I felt about my husband forever. Now that she has damaged that trust, this will always be in the back of your mind. Of course you felt bad. Because she turned the guilt from herself and dumped it on you.
Don't feel guilty about your feelings. However you decide to handle this is entirely up to you. But you have a gut instinct for these things. Listen to it. And good luck.
2006-07-17 10:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to confront her...she must be needing some attention though. I know someone who would have sort of phone sex with a guy, they never met or anything and it only happened one time. She said it was because her hubby was not giving her enough attention, not just sexual.
Your wife also needs to understand even talking with another man about anything sexual should be a no-no. Would she be OK if you were doing it???
Get rid of the internet if you have to.
2006-07-17 10:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one good thing about it is she didn't lie to you about the conversation. So what I would do is have a heart to heart with her. Let her know how hurt you were to read that and that you are now having the feelings of betrayal. Let her know you are going to keep the program on the computer. Let her know that you want to keep this relationship and that if you have to go to counseling then you are willing to do it. Anything to help you get through these tough times.Hope all goes well for you and your family.
2006-07-17 10:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a prelude to even more playing, and he will soon have his own webcam. It eludes me how many men will carry on with an unknown woman, when flesh and blood is in the next room. All he need to is spend a little tenderness.
2006-07-17 09:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has a boundary issue. Has she flirted with other guys before?
The technology will bring out the best and worst in people. It's simple, convenient and has the illusion of intimacy. You two need to do some talking.
2006-07-17 09:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by brian k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I agree with you that cheating is cheating even if it's online. She has exchanged intimacies with him that should be reserved for you. That's cheating. (BTW, I really like Dr. Phil's definition: "If you wouldn't do it with your spouse standing right there, it's cheating".)
Second, you can't fix your marriage by adding more stress, more hurting, and more anger to it. And, you can't fix your marriage by turning away from it.
Lastly, there's only one way to get over it. She has to acknowledge it, take resposibility for it, and ask for forgiveness. You have to forgive him. It isn't fair, but that's how it is.
Good Luck to you!!
2006-07-17 09:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset and I would continue to monitor her activity.
2006-07-17 09:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LAYING THE GUILT TRIP ON YOU shes cheating kick her out tramp
2006-07-17 09:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by ladyspretty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be divorcing my husbands cheating butt.
2006-07-17 09:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by sexymama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorse that cheating ho
2006-07-17 09:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋