Is it normal that boyfriend sleeps with his 13 year old daughter?

Question

My boyfriend recently gained custody of his 3 children 18 yr old son, 16 yr old son and 13 yr old daughter. He recently bought a three bedroom condo and said that he would let the boys have their own room and let his daughter share his bedroom with him. I told him that was not a good idea....so, he let the boys share a bedroom, boyfriend has his own bedroom and his daughter has hers.....Today, 4 months later he tells me that his daughter was suffering from a sinus problem and slept with him last night......he was out and about this morning and said oh yeah she was still sleeping when I left her.......Am I making a big deal out of this? or is this a normal father, daughter relationship?

Answer 1

This isn't normal. If she was a LOT younger it wouldn't be a big deal, but 13 is too old to be sleeping with Daddy. This is when most girls pull away from their parents and start trying to assert their independance AND their bodies are starting to mature. Not the ideal time to be in bed with either parent. Tell the boyfriend to consult with a child psychologist or talk to a counseler at his daughter's school. I'm sure they'll advise him that this is not the way to build a relationship with his daughter.

Answer 2

Sometimes kids, no matter the age, need the comfort of being close to and comforted by a parent, even at night. Especially when they are sick and even when in a broken home situation. Nurturing from a loving parent helps aid recovery for any sickness. She should have her own room on a normal basis but if this incident is not a 'routine" then it is probably ok. Don't know enough about the situation to wager an accurate guess, but I'd say don't sweat it unless it is an ongoing thing. I have 4 kids between and 12 years old and all of them go through nights where they just need to be close to mom and dad and so once in a great while we will allow them to sleep with us. Only happens 3-4 times a year though and only if they are sick, had a bad dream, etc. Special circumstances. Never just because they can.

Answer 3

No it isn't normal for the Dad to sleep with his 13 yr old daughter. Especially if she is matured, or starting to mature.

He could be telling the truth about the sinus problem, but if I were you I would step back and re-asess him.

He might be molesting her... Hope not. But there is the possibility.

Talk to him about it... ask him to make her sleep in her own bed, and have him explain this to her. She's 13, she should be able to understand what's going on. Unless she is retarded or otherwise incapable of understanding... she probably knows alot more then the adults around her give her credit.
There also is such a thing as daughters "wanting" their dads... and maybe you need to look at both of them... make sure there is nothing hinky going on.

*shrugs* Just some thoughts.

Answer 4

Honestly I don't think your making a big deal about it. I am pretty close with my dad and I never slept in the same bed with him. well i mean after i was 7yrs.and if he bought a 3 bedroom condo there shouldn't be a reason their sharing a room. Now if she sick and needs to be supervised then i wouldn't see a problem but a sinus infection. she just needs lots of rest , meds, and fluids. if it bothers you you can say something to your boyfriend, or just keep a mental note and if she is acting differently or sleeps in his room more often then i would seek help from a professional who can better analyze the situation. good luck. try not to think about it too much.

Answer 5

It is a problem here because every ones mind goes right to the gutter, do not pass go. Do not collect $200, when you talk of a young woman and an older man. In many societies the whole house and at least all the kids, no matter what age, share the same bed. And there is nothing going on but sleep. It is only in places like here where the air is always sexually amped that we see it in every situation, lurking in every dark corner. and if it is, we invited it to be as such.

I say he should not only because he would be tried on what it looks like and the wild imaginations of those who were not in the room.

Answer 6

Seeing that is his youngest child and probably his baby girl it may not be a problem. However the girl is 13 and should have her own room. I do not think it is healthy for a 13 year old to sleep with her father. I do not think that is something that is healthy for her. Maybe you should put in the perspective, let him know that now is her time when she wants to start getting some type of independence and get some type of identity for herself, and she should be able to talk to her girl friends and not have to worry about daddy coming in the room saying I got to go to sleep.

Answer 7

All children need their own bed.

This is non-negotiable unless you are so poor that you have dirt floors and even then you if you are a good parent should try to do this.

NO Grown man should be sleeping next to a 13 year old girl.
This needs to stop Right now.

You need to if you are going to stay with him and be in his life demand that he no longer sleep with his daughter.

This is not a topic that should ever have to be asked about because it should not ever happen. Please if you care at all about this girls life you will see that she sleeps alone till she leaves this house.
Make sure this man know what is good and bad in parenting ideals.

Answer 8

if a mother let her 13 year old son, that was sick, sleep in her bed for ONE night, would you have a problem with it? Be careful of double standards.

If it was one night, and she was sick, no problem. If it's more than that, he needs to knock it off.

I am a single father of a 13 year old daughter.

Answer 9

There is nothing normal about this. No man should be sleeping with a thirteen year old child, daughter or not.

Answer 10

No, it's not normal. At 13 it is inappropriate for her to be sleeping with her father. It is his job as the parent to establish boundaries. He needs to make it clear to her that she needs to sleep in her own bed. I fail to see why her having sinus problems means she needs to sleep with him.