Ok ill admit im a jealous possive person when it comes to relationships how do i change that attitude?

Question

Im jealous and possesive and with this new relationship i am in, i guess u can say im affraid of loosing him, how do i change and not become so possesive and jealous.. please help my relationship counts on it

Answer 1

It is natural to feel jealous. What you have to do is be able to control the anger and confusion that comes with the feeling.

Being in a relationship is work, and everyone faces different challenges. Don't let the emotion rule over you, but do allow it to embellish your relationship. Don't act out, don't yell, don't accuse, don't pout. Take that energy and turn it around. Realize that you have the potential to feel a lot for this person, and let them know.

Later, when you are alone, calmly let them know that you felt jealous, but that you don't want to embarrass them or yourself by acting on it.Tell them how important they are to you. Maybe that is all they need to hear.

Answer 2

The surest way to destroy a relationship is to be jealous and possessive. You need to start by realizing that you need to be whole and confident within yourself. Your value does not depend on being in a relationship. If you can believe this, you will not have to hold desperately onto a relationship. You can enjoy the other person and allow things to progress as they will. Or you can decide that the relationship isn't really working and you can move on. You are free and you can allow the other person to be free. If the relationship isn't based on both of you freely choosing to be together, what's the point? It's also important in any relationship that each of you have the freedom to spend time apart, doing activities you enjoy with other people. This doesn't threaten a real relationship, it enhances the time you spend together. If you are always together, you run out of interesting stuff to tell each other. You each need a whole life, filled with many relationships and activities. If you are not ready to live this way, you should not be in a relationship, because you will be stifling the other person.

Answer 3

I'm not naturally jealous and possessive. But I've gotten that way when I was younger and in a fairly intense relationship.

The way I solved it was to quit getting so intense about relationships. I learned to treat the relationships lighter and allow for more distance and independence. When I got into a relationship, I made sure that I also had a life separate from the relationship so that I wouldn't brood about the other person when we were apart.

In other words, try to develop some activities, hobbies, and pursuits apart from the relationship so that you can forget about your guy when you are apart. Lighten up the relationship so that you can enjoy your time together but also do your own things when you're apart.

Even when you get married, you'll still need your own interests and time apart from each other. You can't cling to each other all day everyday, or you'll drive each other nuts. So start practicing now at living and enjoying your own life separate from him. And then when he comes around, by all means have your fun together too.

Good luck!

Answer 4

The first thing you need to do is learn more about yourself. Who are you (really)? What are your likes? What are your dislike? Possesive people are usually insecure and take ownership of people and relationships to comfort their void. Once find yourself(take some quiet time/or journal) you'll realize the you are a jewel and it wouldn't matter if your relationship is a success or a failure...why...because you'll know who you are and what you want!
Hope this helped!

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to develop a sense of trust of the other person. Without that, the relationship, like so many others before, is doomed to failure.
Once you trust someone totally, everything will fall into place. Unless they violate that trust and then you can cut loose on them.
But only if.

Answer 6

Do you think it's cool to be jealous and possessive? It's not. Jealous and possessive behavior screams, "I am immature and don't know how to maintain a relationship except by having tantrums for attention." How long do you think it will be before the other person in the relationship gets tired of that crap?

Get a life.

Answer 7

u have low self esteem that u need 2 work on, u also probably cant trust yourself full so therefore have added issues with him, best thing 2 do is probably tell him straight out that ur working on some personal issues and would like it if he was there 2 support u and work along with u so u can b a better person 4 him.

Answer 8

Heretohelp,
The reason you continue to display this behavior, is because you haven't learned how valuable you are. Deep within, for whatever reason, you believe that you don't really deserve to be loved or to have someone to love. Therefore, you fear that you will lose something you aren't supposed to have, and see others as threats to your temporary relationship. When you have learned to genuinely love youself in a truly healthy way, then you can think about finding someone you can relax with, because if they choose to leave, it's their loss. When you really love yourself, you will notice that it's your partner who doesn't want to lose you, because you are a very special person.

Answer 9

You have to learn to trust the person you are with. If you don't trust them then you WILL be jealous/possessive. I would also be honest with your girlfriend and tell her what makes you feel jealous...ex) when she goes to the club and brings back numbers.

If you don't trust her, then there's no good relationship.

Answer 10

I just read the other responses.


Yup, trust and building your own self esteem both.