My husband and I were married for 5 1/2 yrs. However, we were seperated for almost one year and just got back together. When we got seperated it was because of many things, after all this time we both matured more and learned a lot of things, but now, I have thought of having a third child, see, before we got seperated I got my tubes tied, because I had gone through post partum depression and thought that I would never want another child again. I would have to start off by getting my tubes untied, which is expensive but I wouldn't mind trying to pay for it someday. My husband thinks that our two boys are enough, I just think that I didn't enjoy my last baby as much as I wish I should of. After all this time being seperated and now being together, it seems like we love each other more than ever. I don't know, my doctor said that there is like a 70% chance that I could get pregnant if I get them untied. What do you think?
2006-07-17 08:53:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he doesn't want another baby, then don't even try. Nothing it worse than being deceived like that.
2006-07-17 08:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby just so you can "enjoy" it the way you think you should have with your last baby is not very logical. What if you go thru the same post partum depression this time around - are you then going to go for child #4 to see if the 4th time is the charm?
You and you husband now "love each other more than ever" - why not enjoy him and the family you already have. Another kid is not going to make anything better, it'll probably be worse, seeing as your husband doesn't even want another baby.
Be thankful for what you've got - cherish it!
2006-07-17 09:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's doing all the working to pay all the bills? It's so expensive to have one more mouth to feed. You didn't really enjoy your last baby as you could of because of post partum depression - that doesn't just affect you but did you know it affects the whole family? Why put everyone through that again? You must have been separated for a reason - was it because of all the depression and all? My advice to you is enjoy the love right now -with your husband and two boys - don't make things complicated again. First see if getting back together will last - don't complicate it.
2006-07-17 09:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I don't think your stupid like the others do. I can understand the feelings you must be going Thur. My wife had a miscarriage in Feb 2005 which would've been our 3rd child. Since then she has been bugging me like crazy for another one which I don't want or at least not at this time. She been feeling a void and would look down all the time. 2 months ago I agreed to let her get a kitten but she ended up bringing home 2. 1 for each of out daugthers. But still the bugging goes on.
In a way i pitty her cause it was painful but I know it (baby) wont solve any problems but in fact might add up to them. I work 2 jobs just to support the 4 of us and its my goal to buy us a house. My advise, strenghten up your family before u add another member... I hope this helped u some.
2006-07-18 18:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jonathan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from my own experience ...
Husbands tend to think of themselves as the provider even when both spouses are working. So, what he hears when you talk about having another child is how much longer it will be before he can retire and/or how much it will cost to send one more to college. It doesn't mean that he doesn't really want child.
You might try a compromise. Adopt a child who is a little older, say 4 or 5. Then he/she would make a great sibling for your boys. And, it doesn't lengthen the time until you both can retire.
Good Luck.
2006-07-17 09:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are stupid.
If your husband doesn't want another one, it is a done deal.
Or, you could have your tubes untied without him finding out...get pregnant and give birth, get divorced because you are a lying, scheming idiot and raise 3 kids by yourself.
But you two love each other more than ever so of course you should do this and have another child.
Idiot. If you have to ask such a stupid question, you won't be married much longer.
2006-07-17 08:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by DipperJapan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should raise your family that you have started and bask in the glory of having a happy marriage. Both of you are already adapted to the way life is with the 2 kids having another one may cause some more complications that the marriage may not survive this time. I know I would not chance my marriage to be selfish.
2006-07-17 09:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by 4X4 Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are plenty of unwanted children that need adopting out there, but first off, your husband doesn't want another. You need to continue talking to him about this. Maybe wait a year, and see how he feels then. It sounds like you've been through quite a bit. If he doesn't want a child now, don't force it, but continue talking and maybe he'll change his mind after a year or two.
2006-07-17 08:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Astro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling on this issue. Just because you didn't "enjoy" your last pregnancy is no reason to go through it again. If you really want another baby and all that goes with it, then the two of you should see a counselor together.
2006-07-17 09:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should both agree on having a child, since it's such an important decision. It's better to not have another child and be with your husband than having another child and being separated. And remember, a new baby always bring more changes to your life...
2006-07-17 08:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by kagurarox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't use a baby to fill a personal void from the past. 2 is definitely enough. Are you wanting a spare?
2006-07-17 09:10:41 · answer #11 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋