He and I have been together for 18 years and when things are good they are great, but lately he has been verbally abusive. I really do love him with all of my heart and soul, but now I know it's really time for me to let him go. I have made an appointment to see a therapist because I feel like a part of me is missing. He always wants things his way, and most of the time when we argue he always makes it look like it's my fault. He breaks dates and then he gets an attititude when I express my view on the issue and try to make it look like its my fault! If anyone has really been deeply in love, please help. Thanks again for taking the time to read and give your perspective on this issue.
2006-07-17 08:29:29 · 4 answers · asked by Fe-Fe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let it go and move on. you only live once and is that all you want to remember when your old and gray. you(noone) deserves to be treated like that. good luck itll take sometime to get over this but you will just stay strong and occupy yourself
2006-07-17 08:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to get over the hurt of this kind of thing and nobody should tell you any different. It could take 6 more months or 2 more years before you are ready to date - it's just how you feel. You shouldn't feel pressured to 'get over him' or anything else. Concentrate on your daughter. She's going through stuff because of the split and needs your attention and love right now. Plus, he'll probably make promises he won't keep to her so she needs everything you can give her for the time being. As far as the character of your ex, that's why it's so important to date and discover each other's character before you have sex and get into a relationship. Our society is so screwed up in this way. You're supposed to fall into bed with someone immediately based on their looks and live happily ever after. Doesn't work like that. Learning about each other's character beforehand, taking him around to friends and family to get their reactions to him, (just like in the olden days) really does work out pretty well. Love is blind, as they say so maybe listening to their reactions to him would have prevented you guys from hooking up. Who knows? You now know how important it is to really know somebody before jumping into a relationship and if there are warning signals, you should heed them next time.
2016-03-16 01:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where your coming from, a few years ago I was going through the same thing you are now and i know the hurt your feeling right now, my husband was having an affair on me and I guess the guilt was so hard on him that in order to try and make himself feel better he had to always put me down and make me feel everything was my fault, I am in no way saying that your husband is cheating , but I do think something is really wrong with your marrige, why dont the both of you try to get some help for your relationship, it might help, if he doesnt want to than please still get it for yourself, god bless you and take care
2006-07-17 08:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" by Suzette Hayden Elgin (link below to her website) will give you skills to prevent your husband from continuing to verbally abuse you. It will also give you the strength to stand up for yourself. If he can see himself and know that he is abusing you and hurting you (and if it's something that he doesn't like about himself), he can teach himself new ways of interacting with you. I'm not suggesting you try to save your marriage, if that's not what you want to do, but if this is something that's recent, maybe there's an outside reason for it. (if he's breaking dates, he may be seeing someone else. That's a "red flag" to me).
2006-07-17 08:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to therapy together. He might need someone other than you to talk some sense into him.
2006-07-17 08:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by heatherdrake2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋