Last summer, he left one day and said he was going to work. He never came home, and several days later, I found out he was living with another girl. When I finally talked to him, he said we were 'broken up.' News to me. After a couple of months, he came back, said he missed me and our daughter, etc. Our son was born in March, and in June, he left again. Now he has come back again. I know things aren't going to get better, and I feel less stressed when he is gone, because he doesn't work or help with with the kids, while I have a full-time job and do all the parenting. But I miss him a lot when he is gone, and I really think that I love him. Plus, our kids worship their father, and they never get to see him when we are split up. Is it worth trying to hold on to him, or should i get out while I still can? Any advice on how to make the seperation less painful for the kids and for me? I just want us to be happy, but I don't want my kids to see this and grow up to think it's okay.
2006-07-17 08:19:52 · 12 answers · asked by havenharleyb81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i think you should kick his a** follow my example
2006-07-18 07:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by mopargrl73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you being serious?If so ,you should get out ASAP. This guy is no good for you. If he hasnt married you by now chances are he never will. I would leave his as$ and get another boyfriend and make this louse of a father pay child support. You dont need that kind of parasite in your life and neither do your children. What kind of role model is that for your kids. Do you think your son's are gonna know about respecting women when they see their mom being treated like the way he treats you? Would you approve of your daughter being in this type of relationship? Even though they love their father they can still have visitation with him on the weekends if they want. He needs to get out of the picture. It will be very hard but its worth it. Find your self a good guy and make a good example for your kids to see what a real, healthy, loving relationship is instead of this creep your with. Sorry, I know you care about him but he obviously doesnt love you. You are nothing but a convenience to him.Good luck. I wish you the best.
2006-07-17 08:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by magdalen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are the only one that can make that decision,BUT--Put yourself in your kids shoes,especially when they are a few years older and will understand whats going on.Find some new friends to hang out with so you won't be lonely.Sounds like he's not a good role model I would want my kids to worship.Kids learn from what they see and hear. Leave this loser and quit letting him ruin you life and most important, your kids life.Time will heal all wounds and it wont be easy, but sometimes you just have to do what you know is right even if you don't feel like doing it.
2006-07-17 08:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by tewhite2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's going to leave you all the time like that and life is less stressful when he's not around, I'd say you're better off without him.
I would talk to him about visiting the kids though.. tell him they miss him and all that. If he cares about them, he'll want to see them. Honestly though, if he cared he wouldn't leave for months at a time and not make contact with his children.
I lived 18 years in a similar situation.. for the sake of my children... they're teens now and ask why I didn't leave their dad earlier instead of waiting for him to finally call it totally quits.
It will be hard for a while.. but you'll survive! All of you will.
2006-07-17 08:28:30 · answer #4 · answered by ladyangelovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think you know you should leave him and leave him for good. I mean it is one thing if it was just you but you do have kids and this has got to be killing them.
I say leave him for good, get yourself and your kids in some counseling, lots of places have Sliding Scale fee and accept most insurance so the expense won't be so great. As for the actual break up, just set your foot down and be firm. You don't have to take this and neither do your kids. Keep your self and your kids busy doing anything to keep your mind off of it. Use this time to really bond with your kids. Assure them you are not going to leave them. Go to your local library and read books on the subject on how to help your kids deal, do Internet research.
Good Luck!
2006-07-17 08:30:47 · answer #5 · answered by Indiana Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happier when he is gone, your children probably are too. If you can relocate thru your job, I would move. As long as you are right where he left you, he will return. The other women probably want him to work too, and they finally kick him out.
Your children will be better relocating now, than when they are older.
2006-07-17 08:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by tobinmbsc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really think you should get out while you can. i think he's overwhelmed and i know by him living with another girl he thinks he's some hot **** and he can get any girl he wants. my boyfriend is doing that right now and i know how you feel. your kids don't need to get attached to him if he's NEVER going to be there. you can do better and you don't need him you have your kids. i would do anything to have kids and only worry about them. good luck and take care!
2006-07-17 08:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Rachel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an order of support for this prick, and scheduled visitation. Do NOT let him back into your life romantically.
The guy really needs to grow up and get a job and SUPPORT HIS KIDS.
2006-07-17 08:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be best to leave him while the kids are young. You can find someone better who will respect you and your children. This guy is not grown up and you don't need to put yourself through this.
2006-07-17 08:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it is your decision. Please keep this in mind. Children are a product of their environment. You are teaching them especially your daughter that this is exceptable behavior. Do you want your children in better relationships!!! Set an example!!!
2006-07-17 08:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! He is dismissed! You can do it! I can tell you already know the answers. Just go for it. :o)
2006-07-17 08:25:08 · answer #11 · answered by fiveftfirecracker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋