I am in need of some advice and very soon! I am about 4 months pregnant and I just found out my fiance of almost a year is cheating on me. I knew we were having problums but I didn't relize that it was this serious. I found out that he had put himself on one of those dating websites and has been talking to several girls saying he's single and is looking for a long term relationship. I am so hurt and don't know what to do. I feel as thpugh someone has stabbed me in the heart a million times, this pain just won't stop. I need to know what do next!!!!!
2006-07-17 07:57:32 · 22 answers · asked by babygirl7995 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dump the guy, have the baby and take good care of it. Focus on being a good mom now and forget the guy. There are others out there. Just don't put up with any crap from them.
2006-07-17 08:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by Butkusman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. Quite a few names come to mind on what to call a "man" who cheats on someone, but to do it when you're pregnant? My advice is to leave him. If he's doing this to you when you're pregnant, what do you think he's going to do when the baby is born? Or when you're married? Pregnancy is a wonderful time in a woman's life. You should not have unneccessary stress in your life. It affects not only you, but also your unborn baby. It's not going to be easy being a single parent, but also remember that there is still someone out there for you, who will love you no matter what. Even if you have a baby. As for the people who say that maybe he's doing that just for fun, why would you even want to talk to someone about having a relationship if you are in love with someone else? No offense, but this guy seems like the type that want to do the deed, and not accept responsibility if something comes of it. Think of you and your baby first!!! Having a baby is a wonderful thing, congratulations! I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and I hope everything will turn out all right.
2006-07-17 15:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by sean's_mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need a good lawyer. You MUST establish paternity and then you MUST go after him for adequate child support. Does this hurt? Unfortunately, yes, but now you know why sex before marriage doesn't work.
Next, you need to prepare for your child. Ask your family to help. I'm sure they will. Get a decent place to live (income subsidized if you need it), get a good ob/gyn for good prenatal care. Start getting baby furniture (garage sales, ARC, or Salvation Army thrift shops are good--no shame in that---kids grow too fast). You need to obtain or arrange for transportation. If you do not have medical insurance or he doesn't (remember he is financially responsible whether he likes it or not) you will need to apply for Medical and WIC and check with social services to find out what other help you may qualify for.
Finally you need to get ready to love another life, your child. Get books from the library and read, read, read. Go take a parenting class with the Red Cross or County Extension Service. Babysit for other women with infants. Learn from practical experience.
If you are not involved in a church I suggest that would be a good place to be right now for additional support from a womens' group. Besides you will meet other mothers who can also help you.
Good luck and God bless you!
2006-07-17 15:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. You are obviously in a relationship with an immature jerk. It would be very simple for us to tell you to simply move on. But then, you are the one who is pregnant and will be in need of even more support very soon.
Talk to him, tell him you know what is going on. Invest some time and $$$ in some sincere counseling. If he refuses to go with you, then get some yourself. Talking to an objective third party will help you sort out your feelings and priorities.
God bless.
2006-07-17 15:03:08 · answer #4 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the logical answer is end it and get on with you're life..if he cheats now he will cheat later. Let yourself be open to other relationships.. Single women attract good guys..I took on two boys who are not my own..instant family..it happens and it works out real good..some guys can make the babies but can't be a man.. Find a real man!! he is out there
2006-07-17 15:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a Jerk!
Well, since he did it behind your back, he'll do it again.
I would just try to take the best care of myself and my baby as possible and know that this might be God's way of making things better for your baby. Things work like that sometimes. It would be worse to be relying on him and find out he's out there, looking for another family.
Just be thankful that you and your baby aren't dependant on him totally and go live your life. You will surely find another man who is better when you're ready.
2006-07-17 15:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late for a abortion! You need to leave him, you don't want to raise a child around someone like that. It will be pure hell!!!!!Remember, he'll have to pay child support when baby is born - concentrate on yourself and your child's life for now. I know it hurts so bad to know that your just not good enough for this cheater, but it's his loss, the next person who gets him are in for a surprise. Dump his butt now!!!! Get family support to help you through this. He's not worth you and your child's life!!!!
2006-07-17 15:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him...It's not healthy for your child if you worry so much... I've been through the same thing before...except I wasnt' pregnant! I know how it hurts, but trust me...it won't get any better if you stay with him. Unless he really wants to change and be faithful to you. But I say....leave him...and if he really wants you back..he will have to prove that he won't cheat on you again! Good Luck girl!
2006-07-17 15:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Susan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen i understand what you are feeling...
look please try to calm down i know how bad it hurts..(been there) but remember the lil pice of heart in ur wond is also feeling what you feel..
you need to pack ur stuff and move out...
i dont recomend you try to beat the living crap out of this pice of sh!t....
try to avoid all additional stress..
get out... he will want to knwo why.. then you can tell him..
you decided that you want to be no ones fool..
and it is better for both of you..(baby&u) to be on your own..
tell him you will update him about the baby..when necesery..
But it will be esier for you to move on and star over now...so that by the time your babty's here you are set up....
Some man are just trash like that,,, dont apreciate all of what we go throug when preg. but we cant change that..or what they did to us.. i do belive that if you are only four months preg. n his out there looking for some one else you need to leave..
what can u expect from him when ;you are 8 months?
hes cheating now.. he will do it again... after the baby is born and things chang e so much and it really is only the begining..
when the baby is here things betwen tha trash and you will b harder... the process of adapting to the baby is hard for any couple and only the strong ones will remain..
i think you should leave now..
but i know how difficult that can be....
please pray to god for strength.. I sure to you he will help u.
All you have to worry about is you and the baby..
when you c the beutifull face.. u will know you need nothing or noone else...
good luck ! best wishes..
if you need to talk to me e-mail me...
2006-07-17 15:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
breakup with now.i kow single mothering is hard,but i wud rather have my kids with no father than a bad 1.If u have any family memebers,go 2 them,and stay there and leave ur husband.do not marry this fool!Raise ur baby 12 have principles,and 22 put hisd,/herself 1st before any of the opposite gender.Lady,do not marry that guy,go 2 a family mwemeber,and stay with them.God will take care of ya
2006-07-17 15:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by chocolate tea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋