My boy is 9 and in the past year he has gotten up and knocked on our bedroom door in the middle of the night. sometimes he is scared of something a scary movie, has a bleeding nose, or upset tummy, but other times he doesn't know he is doing it. I was a single mother for most of his life and let him sleep with me most of the time. It didn't bother me. But now I am in a serious relationship and soon to be married. My man is getting a bit uptight because he can't sleep when this happens. Last night my son did it again and said he didn't remember a thing. He was asking me 'what happened last night?' about 3 times and doesn't remember a thing. He is also on a bunkbed. Why does he keep doing this? Help.
2006-07-17 07:50:46 · 13 answers · asked by Lisa B 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
When he does the getting out of bed and knocking at the bedroom door - it is I who asks him about it and he seems to really not know what happened. He knows he will get in trouble. I asked my partner to maybe console him rather than get mad at him - tell him everything is alright and that we are there for him. I wouldn't use the word jealous.
2006-07-18 02:36:01 · update #1
Jealous of a 9 year old?
It is possible that your 9 year old doesn't remember the incidents, but it isn't likely to be sleep walking. It may very well be insecurity. A new person is in his life, and has taken his spot in your bed. I know how "sexual" that may sound, but it isn't intended. The child had defined the spot next to you as "His". Now, another male is in that spot. It can be hard on a child especially with the onset of puberty. Even if he likes the new person, he may still harbor feelings of jealousy. This is normal I assure you.
What isn't normal is your man's reaction to the expected behavior. Your man should be taking the child in as one of his own. Therefore, he should be understanding that the child may feel a bit invaded. If your man hasn't the capacity to see that the child requires positive attention from him in order to help the child overcome these feelings of resentment, perhaps you aren't with the right man.
2006-07-17 08:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by gejepsen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know I am reading your question and it is like I posted it up their. I have the same problem except I am the step dad and my fiance she is the mom of my three step kids ages 9, and twin boys 6 years of age. The one that gets up at night is the girl who is nine years old complaining about stomach aches, crying, and the, I don't feel so good thing. On two occasions? One) she got up because she was thirsty, turned on the kitchen light (didn't get water) and went back to bed. On the other occasion she scared the living crap out of me? I was a sleep when I felt this big thing crawling in bed with me and to my surprise it was my step daughter. I asked mom why she does this and she said she Is a sleep while she walks. I also asked my step daughter if she remembered this and she said no and couldn't believe what had happened. So yes they do sleep walk.
2006-07-17 08:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child is acting out on some psychological impulse, repressed memory or other pathology. You should start to rule out what his problem is by getting him in to a Psychologist, having a sleep study performed and a medical evaluation as well. Your son is calling for help, you need to answer the call. Tell your MAN that if he is in fact a real man he would want resolve by making sure your son was safe and sound! Your first priority is to that child, DON"T FORGET IT!
2006-07-17 08:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a psychologcal thing. Two reasons can explain his behavior:
1. Sleep-walking
2. Trying to prevent you from marrying. He could be faking everything. He might not want you to get married to this man.
Those are the only reasons I can think of to explain the behavior
2006-07-17 07:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Guyanese Babi! ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't remember it, why is he asking about what happened? I think you have a jealous child on your hands. If he's been sleeping with you for 8 or 9 years, you've created a big problem for yourself.
2006-07-17 12:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is just not used to sleeping alone. Another thing, if your "man" is getting upset about this maybe you should rethink your relationship with him. He does understand that your son is your priority right????
2006-07-17 07:55:15 · answer #6 · answered by gentle giant 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he doesn't remember doesn't mean he is sleepwalking.
if your boyfriend can't tolerate being waked up by a child at night
i think there is a problem with him. this is life. this is kids. the problem is not with your son. just get up and go tuck him back in bed and kiss him. the problem is with your man, imho.
2006-07-17 07:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's acting out his oedipus complex ("defined as a male child's unconscious desire for the exclusive love of his mother").
Just tell him that you still love him, but you love your new man, too- that you have enough love to go around for everyone!
2006-07-17 09:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by ideogenetic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion i think he feels left out. i think he thinks that now that u have a man in ur lyfe u wont need him no more. ur child is probably asking for more attention. hes probably acting. and i think its bcuz he misses the times wen it used to be just u and him. and now he cant be the man of the house anymore. now its ur Boyfriend whos the man of the house.
2006-07-17 08:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by Layla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is sleep walking when you wake up people rarely remeber what they dream just make sure he doesn't lleave the house or get into any danger while he is sleepwalking
2006-07-17 07:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by Elaine F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋